Do LVM’s ever change?

Angeli_33 · 2021-01-24T23:37:40+00:00

I already placed this comment on another post, but I will comment the same thing her as well to give you some perspective. Guys do not break up with girls easily. They can string them along for years. Why? Try this experiment:

When I go on Tinder (and I don't anymore) and I swipe right for a few minutes, I get 40 matches easily. This is followed by a barrage of conversation starters by all these men. Some try to be funny, others witty, all to get my attention. Don't be fooled, though, this is quantity over quality. I literally get to pick who I choose to go on a date with out of a thousand men. Sometimes I'd feel overwhelmed and delete my account because they all seemed copycats of one another. It wasn't an ego boost either. Sometimes I'd upload blurry or unclear pics and I'd still get the same response. For men, however, it isn't that easy. They have to woo the girl who, just like you and I, has her pick out of thousands of men. When he finally gets to date her, go out with her, hang with her, fuck with her, etc, he's not gonna give it up so easily. It's too much effort to find a replacement. Even if he's not into her and she isn't his type. For now, she will do, because she fulfills his human needs, his physical, emotional, and social needs. He gets validation from her. If ever he gets bored, horny, hungry, or insecure, he wants her around.

Anyway, back to your question. No, LVM never change. If he wasn't into you in the beginning he never will be. They'll take entire relationships for years until they find the one they were waiting for. Then they turn cold. You become an inconvenience. You are in the way. The slow fade starts, the ghosting starts, responding to text messages takes longer. Even to the very end he is a coward because he doesn't even have the guts to give you a proper breakup.

WingLate · 2021-01-24T23:37:19+00:00

It’s fake when they “change” for someone else. Their core values are bad. This is why they never truly change. They may put on a show to have sex with a shiny new model, but they can’t sustain it long-term. They will always revert back to the behavior that falls in line with their core values. Let’s say they marry the next girl and really put on a show to be the accepted devoted husband — how much does that matter if he’s still eyeing other women? How much does that show matter if he is still jerking it to porn behind her back? How understanding will he be if she gains weight from pregnancy and his core values are pure selfishness? It’s all about core values — if he’s selfish and a jerk, he’ll find ways to be a selfish jerk to the “perfect” new girl. Trust me.

souredskittles · 2021-01-24T23:39:09+00:00

They never change. What you are seeing is just performance. They can treat the next girl great, out of guilt, or whatever but the truth is, it’s hard to change. Don’t feel sad because you know exactly what the next girl is going to go through.

I’m sure I’m not alone in this but me and my exes have broken up for the SAME reason their past exes dumped them. In the beginning they sugar coat what went down with their last, but best believe that its same problem that shows up when the next girl shows up. This is why I won’t date single fathers or most divorced men. They can fight me on that.

Is this in the handbook? I feel like this question is asked a lot. Maybe the mods should include a FAQ.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-01-25T08:47:45+00:00

Yes, they can change. For much worse. They just put on an act in order to piss off their ex or impress their friends (especially if they've been dumped). They basically wanna make an impression: Why did she dump him? Look how nice he is with his new gf. Experienced person can see it through immediately though. I know a guy, who broke up with a girlfriend, at least he says so, but I think it's just an act, and she actually dumped him. He got himself a new gf in less than month, and his IG is all lovey dovey now. I have known him for years, I know how he talks about women, he's pornsick since early teenage years and he cheated on his ex with prostitute. He's rotten. He doesn't have any morals. Men like this cannot change for better. If they can, only temporarily.

LevelTurbulent · 2021-01-25T01:49:54+00:00

No. They’re just quietly abusing the “right” one. Bad people do not become good people. Abusers don’t magically become fixed because they met someone special.

hdost34 · 2021-01-25T00:31:10+00:00

They don’t change. But they will continue to search for someone, anyone, who will settle for all of their sh*t!

whenthingsconsidered · 2021-01-24T23:02:40+00:00

LVM never change. That's just what and how they are. On some rare occasions, they do change but that's not due to any women's influence but all coming from within. In fact, no one changes for other people.

If a man proved himself to be a lvm with a woman, and immediately after her, is giving his all - whatever that be - to the next, he is not providing anything worthy because he is still a lvm. It might look that from the outside, but his farce will fall apart soon.

On the fundamental note, lvm doesn't change for the woman they already have. Not on her watch, he improves. The fact she is staying with him approves him not to change.

Gourmay · 2021-01-25T06:49:42+00:00

I assume now that a fair proportion of LVM have NPD, and most therapists will tell you that no they cannot change. They wear a mask to charm and get what they want on occasion, that’s it.

dancedance_83 · 2021-01-25T14:37:35+00:00

You know, I used to think that they do change. But when I really thought about it, after reading a lot of FDS, a lot of LV men would rather change the girl than change their behavior. They’re banking on another woman putting up with their shit when they see they can’t jerk you around anymore or they get tired of you complaining. Things you see on social media or for a glimpse of time never tell the full story. You never know what another woman is willing to put up with.

This happened to me when I dated my first boyfriend. He was addicted to video games and treated me like shit. I dumped him because he didn’t speak to me for 2 weeks and couldn’t even come out or make a plan for our anniversary when I came home from being at school 2 hours away. My dumbass begged for him back because I was sad and saw he was hurt (I had no self esteem in those days). He tells everyone he “needs someone who understands his gaming.” Well, when I say I tried to “understand” I TRIED (tried learning the game, tried playing with him, tried being “understanding” of him texting me back one word answers every other day or just flat out being ignored)

Enter in his pick me rebound internet gamer girl who would do anything for him. She knows he’s trash bc she comes crying to me when he did the same thing to her, but she takes him back and tries to rub it in my face lol. They seemed lovey dovey, pictures everywhere, they game together, she moderates his stream, the “perfect match.” What happens a year later— mf gets dumped for the SAME REASON. Like he publicly admitted he neglected this girl and treated her like garbage. It got him to quit gaming but it doesn’t mean that the selfish and neglectful behavior went away is what I am saying.

Now that I am older, I always assume that whatever traits or flaws that caused the breakup to happen are still there with that person. I accept it. Let someone else deal with it. And no do not entertain or warn a PickMe who is delusional and knows the dude is trash but “loves” him and that their love will make them change. Been there, done that too. Ok girl, be stupid.

It takes years to change and for a person to want to change. People are stubborn as hell, it’s just our nature. And it doesn’t mean that because he treated you like garbage that he all of a sudden became a “better man” for the next woman. He could just be acting that way to get what he wants from her. I’ve seen LVM say they “don’t want a relationship” then find a girl who puts up with them, HAVE A WHOLE BABY with them, and then the woman runs for the hills when they realize.... again, the dude is trash.

Looks can be deceiving. Expect nothing from LVM.

CassieGreen85 · 2021-01-25T05:32:35+00:00

Theoretically: Yes, everyone has the potential to change.

Reality: No.

Why not? Just think about how hard it is for anyone to level up for themselves. It sucks, but it's almost impossible for someone to change for someone else. Especially with LVM (or LV in general), who aren't really into the women they prey on. When you're considered as inferior to them, AKA subhuman, you don't even qualify as worthy of such effort in their eyes.

Changing for the worse, now that one is more realistic, for themselves of for others. Falling is always easier than dragging yourself out of the hole.

shmarhar · 2021-01-25T14:44:24+00:00

Echoing the poster who said it's technically possible but unlikely. Changing your character, something that has been a fundamental part of who you are for years requires either a) a drastic life upheaval or trauma or b) an incredible amount of dedication, determination, and introspection. So short of some disaster that causes him to re-evaluate anything and everything about himself, it's highly unlikely a LVM will muster up the will to truly change.

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2021-01-25T02:50:42+00:00

I think it's possible, but not probable, that anybody can change if he or she gets tired of having a lousy life, and has self awareness and motivation. But LVM are lazy, self-centered, and resentful by default, and most won't, especially not if their worst attributes are already being coddled by a woman.

ayaaababe · 2021-01-24T22:54:32+00:00

In my personal experience no. I knew a lot of LVM from when I was a teen and seeing how their relationships ended it was always the same story. They were too selfish and comfortable in their ways to have the desire to change even when the relationship looked very promising in the beginning or they praised their partner, presenting her as the most special girl ever. Now this is my personal experience and experiences of girls I know of course.

pineycitrusforest · 2021-01-25T05:14:32+00:00

I disagree with most here and believe LVM can change just like LVW can change. I would never choose an LVM hoping he would change, though. Most people don't want to put in the work.

weekend111 · 2021-01-25T13:52:16+00:00

In theory, I believe they can change. Have I ever seen that happen? No. But in theory…

feminologie_ · 2021-01-26T04:47:10+00:00

Change is difficult and requires a lot of work. For LVM this is especially hard because they are too arrogant and selfish to acknowledge or even believe that they need to change. So many of them remain stuck in their ways while continuing to blame the women in their lives. They only change when they recognize they have a problem, when they WANT to change, and/or when they can no longer deal with the consequences of their current state.

AnnoirNevilly · 2021-01-25T19:23:06+00:00

I'm gonna leave here my experience. I don't think that LVM's can change and even though the man decides try to improve/change himself that will not last nor will be something consistent.

My ex is a LVM. Since he was a teenager he knew that he has emotional issues (depression, childhood traumas, porn addiction, alcohol abuse, narcissist traits and etc). All this problems are ruining everything, there aren't one single thing right in his life. I was "the dream girl, the one, the perfect and blablabla. The one that he felt different, that wanna be better, do better and change to be a better man for me. That just last 6 months and then he switched to his true personality. The inconsistency made me crazy because there are days that he would behave like the man I wanted and another ones like the most disturbed person that I already met. And I noticed during 2 years that day after day he got worse. Much worse.

LVM's will not change because change require a lot of work, self awareness, time, money, watch yourself all the time until you learn how to behave differently and it requires a lot of mental energy, get out of the comfort zone and etc. The last thing that men wants its to do things that demands too much work.

If they don't do for themselves (even thought they need it desperately) imagine for a woman? And things does not get better with time, LVM will get worse year after year. They will suck out the life of your body, leave you broke and do the same shit with the next woman. They just learn how to do it better.

AnnieandFish · 2021-01-25T18:34:35+00:00

It’s not worth waiting to find out.

Title	Do LVM’s ever change?
Author	Hateorade_
Upvotes	71
Comments	34
Date	January 24, 2021 10:50 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l49rnl/do_lvms_ever_change/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-lvms-ever-change.734688 https://theredarchive.com/post/734688

Comments