I was in another group that posted some posts from women who were down on FDS. These women agreed everything that was said here was true-but they felt the HVM standards were too hard, or to use their parlance, "impossible to live up to". Now, I myself don't know what so impossible about finding someone attractive who is an adult in their own right (good hygiene, can cook/clean/etc.), making a good living, when men are paid more across the board, treats you well, and wants a partner, not a wife appliance, but I digress. Anyhow, what I noticed is these women made these standards seem unreasonable by creating imaginary problems. Their favorite target was the no 50/50 rule. "dO yOu eXpEcT A mAn tO pAy FoR EvErYtHinG fOrEvEr, " they ree'd. Well, there are two answers to this. The numerical answer was already elegantly explained in the lovely multi-part series about why we should never go 50/50-check it out. But the second answer is why are you putting off following a standard today for something that is YEARS away?

I did a little math. I figure I've been on 75-90 first dates in the past 12 years. That's about seven dates a year. Of these first dates, I went on a second or third date with maybe 35 of the guys, dated 11 for 2-3 months, 4 for 5-6 months, and one for a year+. So, in other words, the issue of any of them paying for anything "forever" never came up! I'd say on 98% of the first dates, the guy paid 100% of the bill. And what would I have gained by talking myself out of that standard with the delusion that maybe He WaS tHe oNe anD i DiDn'T wAnT to LooK LiKe a GoLdIgGeR? Nothing, but I'd be out of hundreds-thousands of dollars. The vast majority of the men I dated long term paid for everything while we were together. Courtship is supposed to be about the man demonstrating his ability to care for a wife. Now, if he actually proposes and you all are set to share your lives, you can start discussing going in together on a home, etc. But before that, he's just a man that has no legal ties to you. Why are you putting the comfort of a random man you don't know, who statistically, you will not see again, over your own comfort?

These women told the sad truth in their own words. They know the standards are sound, they just are afraid they won't find a man who'll met them. Ladies, do anything rather than settle. You are much better off single, than with some scrote going 50/50 on the bills and 0/100 on all the labor. If someone says, "that's why you're single!" to your standards, just say, "exactly, I'm glad you get it." You deserve the best.