The general consensus in this sub seems to be that if women want a serious relationship/marriage, they should be upfront about this to potential partners/while vetting. Theoretically, a HVM shouldn't be scared off by this because they are seeking the same thing. However, the top four books on the FDS-Approved Dating Books list say the exact opposite (I haven't read the other books on the list so I can't comment on those). They say that women should never use words like "commitment," "monogamy," "marriage," and "the future" because it will scare men away. The books even go so far as to encourage women to say that they're not looking for anything serious because it will make them seem cool and chill, distinguishing them from other women. By doing so, men will apparently fall into our trap and bring up commitment themselves.

I've been trying the tactics in the books for a month or so and have had good results because both the books and FDS have helped me change my former pickmeisha ways. Pre-FDS, I met a man in May who I had sex with for 1-2 weeks before he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship. He made efforts to be friends with me but I cut him off. A few weeks later, I reached out to him and we hung out as friends. I offered to trade him "a kiss for a date" and since then, he's been taking me out on dates. It's now been six weeks of him taking me out on nice dates, paying for everything, and driving. I don't have a car so it's difficult to get around my city. I haven't had sex with him since our initial meeting in May and he's never pressured me.

Since we rekindled things, I have never mentioned anything about relationship/commitment/the future per the FDS-Approved Dating Books. While I'm happy to continue using him for money, driving, companionship, and fun, I am wondering if he will ever ask me to be his girlfriend.

I guess the question is, are the books correct? Are there really HVM who are initially spooked by relationship talk but later change their minds and ask for a relationship?