Gaslighting from Pickme friends

sermuonielis · 2021-08-25T09:35:17+00:00

Constantly gaslit by my grandmother. I get it, old age values etc etc but I constantly have to explain that a guy not being an alcoholic and not physically assaulting me- does not automatically make him a good match for me. She wants me to settle so bad and it's so difficult because I adore her and this behaviour has started very recently.

discoveringliberty · 2021-08-25T11:23:13+00:00

Honestly having pickme libfem friends is just exhausting. You've done what you could, you tried to help her and she's rejected the help and been petty about it by leaving the group. I'm glad you won't be reaching out to her, we can't save those who don't want to be saved.

thatjimmylove · 2021-08-25T14:37:01+00:00

my friend recently forgave a guy who blocked her after they had sex on the first date, and i harshly told her doing stuff like that is how guys end up walking all over you. she went out with him again hiking ! told me he had serial killer vibes like no shit!

The mood shifted slightly and i felt sort of bad, but i just can not play the lib fem friend anymore It's exhausting and i prefer to be candid. If someone has the same problem I can only tell them so many times

OrangeCatsAreNice · 2021-08-25T12:11:03+00:00

I understand how you feel. Honestly, the advice you gave can be life saving. Most women in dating apps are dealing with extremely dangerous and disturbed men.

With the numbers of incels out there, she should be worried about someone purposefully giving her an std. The world is getting scarier and scarier.

bombas- · 2021-08-25T16:39:51+00:00

Yikes she’s putting her life at risk.

Sadly I don’t think there’s any point trying to talk some women down from their dangerous choices, they’ll just get mad at you for not being “supportive.”

comet2004 · 2021-08-25T16:48:36+00:00

I mean not to that extent but I had pickme friends just throwing these trash guys at me and trying to gaslight me into dating them. I threw the whole friend group in the trash instead.

Risas1239 · 2021-08-25T17:59:48+00:00

Yes, and it’s beautiful to realize you weren’t the problem. Co-dependency sometimes doesn’t let us see when someone is abusive to us because helping makes us believe we’re the ones with power. I’m so glad you realized this.

Another friend fake cut me off again &. accused me of victim-blaming because after years of advising her to go to therapy, I finally told her I wouldn’t be exposed to her abusive relationships. After much thought, I blocked her on everything, and cut-out all mutual friends. Yesterday I saw an old message from her brother I had never seen, which was asking me to get her to go to therapy last year because it was so bad. Erased.

It is what it is. You can’t help someone who is abusive to you.

queen-wannabe · 2021-08-25T09:43:34+00:00

She’s most likely a libfem, meaning she believes in the lie that she’s “liberated” when she has sex with random dudes off a trashy cheap hookup app, that she’s tOtAlLy embracing her false, imposed, indoctrinated sense of femininity, by fucking a bunch of scrotes and freely offering herself up as a 50$ appetizer for the men she does, when they’re gonna be having the main course afterwards, which is the girl they’re trying to get into a serious relationship with, who is probably not pickme at all, who they put a mask on around and masquerade as HVM. This girl is being spin, she’s being plated by a lot of different lv men who just want sex. Under her mindset of being “sex-positive”, she’s doing all the work for them so that they don’t have to go through all the hoops of manipulating her into bed aka raping her. She’s just made it easier for them to gain access to her. This women will never get a long-standing relationship if she continues this way, she does not seem like she wants to change for the better, she does not want to learn and gain your insights, unfortunately. As we say for the scrotes we fine women encounter: block and delete. Done. Forget it ever happened, continue on with your days and happiness, don’t let this stress you out. Better stern and mentally sane than having gone insane trying to save and set a good example for this ridiculous and stubborn pickme. She’ll have to learn later, if she ever does open her eyes, and take off her rose-tinted glasses, the hard way.

dancedancedance7 · 2021-08-25T19:10:25+00:00

You can't help people who don't want to be helped. As wrong as they are, they'll even have the guff to get mad at you for trying to give good advice. So stop wasting your good advice and let them learn the hard way.

Sister_cat · 2021-08-25T12:11:57+00:00

I wish there was a way to at least make her use condoms. Its so easy to catch an STI without even knowing it!

whydenny · 2021-08-25T10:59:56+00:00

I've said before and I'll keep saying it. We are not the puritans the libfems try to make us.

There's nothing inherently wrong with having sex on a first date, or watching people have sex if they agree (porn) or even engaging in some more extreme or even painful acts (bdsm), it could be something like an extreme sport, why not.

BUT if we lived in an equal society that doesn't see women as lesser and we don't live in this world. We have very recently gained rights in the law, and for societal mindset to change it takes generations.

Maybe one day we will be able to do all these things that libfems promote (if we find them interesting in the first place), but for now, in the context of the world we live in - we can't engage in them without losing respect, social standing, getting used and abused by misogynists or straight up killed.

Sunanas · 2021-08-26T13:22:13+00:00

Nah, I try (still learning this tbh) to not give out advice unless asked and pre-facing absolute statements with "in my opinion / in my experience".

You were right about warning her about traveling with a stranger (your friend sounds super risky smh), but no-one wants to hear they're dating trash. Even if it's true.

Watching one of my friends waste her life playing mommy for her bum boyfriend still hurts, not gonna lie. "hE tRiEd toMaToEs lAsT wEeK" 🤦🏼‍♀️ But except for sowing some doubt I don't get mixed up too much. In the end, her life is hers to live.

Title	Gaslighting from Pickme friends
Author	Far_from_deceived
Upvotes	217
Comments	29
Date	August 25, 2021 8:39 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pb75zl/gaslighting_from_pickme_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/gaslighting-from-pickme-friends.1064821 https://theredarchive.com/post/1064821

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