Has anyone ran into this problem? Read this woman's story and can't help but to relate

blackopium777 · 2020-03-03T14:49:59+00:00

I met one guy while playing an online game, who didnt know how I looked like. I enjoyed his company while playing and we had some nice conversations about basically everything. I saw him as a potential friend and since he had a gf and I was also in a relationship, we had no romantic connection at all. At one point I found out that he actually knows a guy I knew (it was crazy because we live far away from each other) and from that point on everything was in shambles. Dude found me on the other guys Facebook, knew that I was neither fat nor ugly and he started to be extremely flirty with me. I had to cut him off, since he didnt stop. So far I couldnt maintain any friendship with a man because they wanted more in every single case.

fdsthrowaway1 · 2020-03-03T15:18:31+00:00

It was really demoralizing when I lost weight after high school and suddenly all of the guys who acted like I was invisible back then now wanted my attention.

I get it. Physical appearances matter. But damn. It makes me feel much better that now more than ten years later those assholes are either balding, fat, or both.

Radtron3000 · 2020-03-03T14:58:00+00:00

What's most insulting is he assumes his interest means she now has a chance with him, as if she should be so grateful, and his conscious dismissal of how it's HER CHOICE to pick a partner that she'll get on with. Men really do treat women like they're property.

Marn526 · 2020-03-03T15:59:02+00:00

[deleted]

natal_woman · 2020-03-03T15:19:38+00:00

If whether or not being friends with a guy hinges on my "fuckability", I don't think I want to be friends with men.

Every guy I've dated started as a friend. I think they're all lining up hoping for a chance and that's the only reason guys want to be friends with me at all.

Hedy__Lamarr · 2020-03-03T17:06:53+00:00

I had a couple acquaintances in college that were obviously semi-dating on the sly but outwardly were only friends. The woman had a really large, unfortunate nose. They never became an official couple until after she had plastic surgery on her nose. They eventually got married. I still feel sorry for her because she basically was fine with him being too embarrassed to be with her until after she had surgery. He was not that good looking and had a big ego on him. He was always full of himself and would act surprised that a woman knew anything about computers when I talked to him about changing out the hardware on my PC myself. She should have moved on to bigger and better things after her surgery and left his ass in the dust. She was very intelligent and nice person and otherwise very attractive. She could have done so much better than him on every level. And now he's going bald.

Rpwintraining · 2020-03-03T19:51:30+00:00

I had the same experience. I dropped a considerable amount of weight and the glow up was massive. I ended up having to drop a tonne of friends (female and male) the males hit on me and acting like I was finally good enough to have sex with and the females ripped into me, saying I was over the top,un healthy, looking for attention.

I also attended my high school reunion at the time and dear god it was a cluster, so many people who bullied me in high school actually treated me well and tried to hit on me. That ticked me off, my value as a person doesn’t decline because of the shape of my body, what I wear or how I look.

Doesn’t bother me now because in the end I look banging and I’m fabulous inside and out. I have my own place and life that I designed and created for myself.

frafot7 · 2020-03-03T17:17:51+00:00

I've actually had the opposite happen to me. When I was in high school/early college, I was very skinny with a big butt and a generally great physique. My girl and guy friends made a lot of remarks about how it didn't make sense for girls like me to be single. That kind of tanked when I was a senior and seriously depressed. No longer was I the girl that people wanted to be with and it SHOWED. I even had one of my guy friends ask if I had any single friends for a man who is exactly my type. It's super demoralizing.

InayahDaneen · 2020-03-03T19:23:05+00:00

I’ve ran into this issue several times in my life while gullibly assuming and believing what the guy agreed to, that we are or would be just friends. It just became awkward to remain friends with them.

At work, even someone old enough to be my grandfather started becoming flirty after their brief friendliness ( he initially claimed I reminded him of his 20 year old grand daughter), but I’d brush it off until one of my co workers said the old man was asking them if I was into older men in his age group (80’s) .🤢 He became super creepy towards me. Thankfully his family sent him away to a nursing home.

Feines_Brot · 2020-03-03T18:52:28+00:00

I had to reject a guy 'friend' 3 times half a year ago. He was pathetic enough to ask me to give him a chance right after I broke up with my then boyfriend, so I just cut him off completely. He is the typical nice guy, short, boring, ugly and nothing to offer.

We rekindled a couple of months ago since we go to the same school and he would always whine about the girls he was infatuated with and asked me about my own relationship status, to which I told him that I don't want one atm and that I'm more into girls anyway.

At a recent party, he constantly touched me and tried to convince me to let him sleep at my house , among other things. And that was just the tip of the iceberg, things like this have happened before. I confronted him at school with all the things I remembered and what others told me had happened. He first denied EVERYTHING, deflected all the accusations and somehow turned the blame on me, he even had the audacity to tell me that my best friend made these things up and lied to me, claiming that she is just a shit talker.

He eventually gave me a half assed apology and I haven't talked to him since. I told my friend and she also texted him to confront him and tell him what he did was not okay, but he just denied and deflected again.

I hate these fucking nice guys complaining about the damn friendzone and crying about how 'shallow women won't give nice guys a chance'. If anything, they fuckzoned us first. I just gave up on trying to make friends with straight guys.

myousername · 2020-03-03T18:00:44+00:00

Any man who acts this way is not a "great friend"

fdsstudent · 2020-03-03T20:18:04+00:00

I liked my male best friend throughout high school, but I was very overweight. He of course was not into me. I lost weight that summer, and he hadn’t seen me in a few months... BOOM! instantly attracted to me and making sexual remarks. Now, we’ve been friends since kindergarten, and he is inching closer to being a HVM the older we get, he understands boundaries, and has cut that stuff out. Male friends are rare though, I’m happy that he knows how to control himself because I’d hate to lose a lifetime of actual friendship.

alchademy · 2020-03-03T22:44:44+00:00

I’ve had this happen as well. They completely change once you’re deemed attractive. Even if you’ve known them for years.

2020-03-04T02:30:33+00:00

Yep. Men are not our friends, every single one of my male 'friends' was just biding their time until they could try and get in my pants.

Blackishcat27 · 2020-03-04T15:40:28+00:00

If he wasn't interested before, why the fuck should she be interested now?

pencilmeinpls · 2020-03-03T14:39:49+00:00

Honestly it sounds like she now looks like how he’s always seen her on the inside and he’s short-circuiting. Or maybe he’s just a true fuckboy and was using her for emotional validation the whole time. Either way it’s happened to me before too and back in my pickme days I let it happen because it was validating. So I’d sleep with them and then lose a friend for a few months and never really get back to how we were beforehand. I’m glad she’s noticing the change and not taking it as a compliment or something to be thankful for.

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