I, Too, Date Men

greatnesdbyamu · 2020-08-05T10:49:44+00:00

Its embarrassing but I too date men

shortywannarock · 2020-08-05T11:07:01+00:00

How many dudes have lied to me (completely unprompted) about deleting bumble after a few dates? Like, no dumbass, I know you just blocked me, you’re not as smart as you think you are.

jupiter_sunstone · 2020-08-05T13:34:47+00:00

This reminds me of that sentiment, “If sexuality were a choice there would be no straight women.”

penelopekitty · 2020-08-05T11:46:01+00:00

So many out out there who are compulsive liars. They lie even when they have nothing to gain from it.

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-08-05T14:02:24+00:00

I don’t date men anymore.

I’d rather put my hand down the garbage disposal.

Sage_Planter · 2020-08-05T12:48:03+00:00

My NVM lied to me for three years, and I broke up with him when the truth came out.

I, too, date men.

Pahapan · 2020-08-05T14:38:11+00:00

My ex would lie about shit that was blatantly not true, stuff that I would obviously know was untrue. When I got pregnant there was about a week when I thought I would keep it before I came to my senses. We went to the drug store to pick up his prescription and while we were there I purchased prenatal vitamins.

During a later break up attempt (there were several unsuccessful attempts, unfortunately) he tried to say HE'D bought the prenatals as an example of how he takes care of me, as if I wouldn't remember that I'd paid for that $50 purchase. I was dumbfounded.

rad_sensei · 2020-08-05T14:51:25+00:00

they lie because they know if we knew the truth we’d never stick around

Rough-Tree · 2020-08-05T16:02:34+00:00

Lies of omission forcing you to be a fucking detective and ask the right questions to get the answer you already knew

missyou2017 · 2020-08-05T14:02:47+00:00

That's the only reason women still date men

miss_tokie · 2020-08-05T15:01:55+00:00

My ex is a professional liar. Sooo, he gave me his ebt card so I could get groceries for our daughter. He needed to use it one day and claimed he put it back where he got it. I searched high and low for that card. I call him in tears and he said he would call the health department and have them send a new one and that it would be here within 2 weeks. Once I started getting very low on groceries I called him and somehow he was able to go to a post office and pick up the letter with the "new" card in it and bring it to me that day. No joke, he showed up and handed me THE SAME CARD I thought I had lost. (Covered it swipe marks and obviously very used and not new.) He either kept it or forgot to put it back and instead of just telling me the truth he created this big ass lie. For what? I still dont know. And I'm still waiting for him to own up to it.

itsirrelevant · 2020-08-05T14:12:13+00:00

A rant: I was in a strictly casual relationship with a man for a couple years. I kept things very closed off for most of that time because I knew things would not work out regardless between us. It was fun and he was the perfect one night a week distraction.

Towards the end when he stopped working for a year and I had moved past my life stressors he started getting more involved. I'm thinking "weird and probably a bad idea but whatever, it's fun and I need a break from life and we get along well so why not benefit from his year off". He started telling me, unprovoked, that even though we were still not exclusive he was not going to see anyone else because he didn't want to. I was still seeing others at the time so it was important to me to know the risks sexually. So him having told me that would lead me to believe I don't have to worry about his contracting anything.

Cut to our trip to Arizona. We had spent all day biking then biked to camel back mountain to hike it. He had gotten a notification on his phone that he seemed preoccupied by but at the time I shrugged it off since he had a lot going on. We hiked the mountain and I noticed he was in quite a rush, even for him. We get back to the hotel and I shower. Once I get out the informs me that the text was from a woman he knows and hooks up with every so often and she was accusing him of giving her Chlamydia (we both got tested as soon as we got home and were negative, thankfully).

I laid into him so hard over this. Why would you go to the trouble of telling me that you won't see anyone else when you never had to say anything given our arrangement? You're a doctor and you don't think it's necessary to be honest about sexual partners? You don't think I need truthful information from the person I'm supposed to have an agreement with so if I see someone else I don't put them at risk? This is not a game.

His reply was that he was afraid I'd leave him if he didn't lie (because we both have feelings for one another and since he was now more uncomfortable with knowing I was with anyone else he believes I'll feel the same, I don't) and that he didn't really want to see anyone else and since it was just that time he didn't think it mattered. Also, she's a lawyer so she shouldn't have been a risk (really???)

Thing is, I believe him regarding the fact that he wasn't trying to date other women and that like me (and this other woman) he is a fan of casual sex. It's a "problem" we both admitted to each other early on and should have just been left at that considering we're in the same boat. Just makes it worse because his own insecurety and guilt led to this. He has a mountain of issues that he keeps buried just beneath the surface and obviously this is how it was going to play out eventually. It's so pathetic. Regardless of how honest you are it just never pays off in the end. The mind games will come eventually.

I'm just thankful I didn't have to inform anyone else that I had caused them a possible STI... It's all really put a bad taste in my mouth regarding casual relationships and how messed up they can get.

In the end it was still a really fun easy situation that helped lift my spirits during a rough time when anything more would have not been possible, but his male need to try to tell me what he thinks I want to hear really destroyed the tail end of things when they could have ended on a pleasant note.

LateShop · 2020-08-05T15:30:49+00:00

My ex lied about reconciling with his supposedly ex-wife (turns out they never divorced) and he moved back in with her. He tried to convince me he was moving in with his grandma due to financial hardship and that I could never visit him there because she was strictly religious. (Reeeeeed fllllaaaaagggg)

Shout out to his wife, who unknowingly told me through a public Facebook post that they were back together again. I had to "investigate" for a few days to reassure myself that he was indeed living with her again. Because he lied and lied and lied and said it was all a farce to keep religious family members happy. He just kept lying about everything he could to keep me around and "waiting" for him. But he told a mutual friend of ours the entire truth who in turn was a decent man who told me everything to confirm what was happening. He didn't know we were dating.

He was a lying, manipulative, piece-of-shit, con man who enjoyed nothing more than stringing women* along secretly while he plays husband and father.

^\found out I wasn't the only one....)

hilariouslystated · 2020-08-05T21:10:10+00:00

It's true! They lie for no reason.

2020-08-05T14:59:58+00:00

Loooool

adertina · 2020-08-05T14:57:39+00:00

I don't but like, I feel like I'm too timid and try to act "cool" and that attracts women who think they can treat me like an after thought as long as they know the right thing to say, being more comfortable with loneliness is making me stronger tho i feel

Title	I, Too, Date Men
Author	MarbleWorld
Upvotes	1551
Comments	37
Date	August 5, 2020 8:53 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i41tfl/i_too_date_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-too-date-men.721518 https://theredarchive.com/post/721518

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