I would explain the reason about why I’m breaking up when I broke up.

Because I actually was still hoping he would change, or understand me, or something. What I do now is I say what bothers me and what I need, and then if no changes occur over a given time, I break up with no reason mentioned.

I would break up and then get back together.

Because I was breaking up before I was really ready. I was using a breakup as a conflict resolution. I was breaking up when I was in a heat of the moment, out of anger or sadness. What I do now is I take some space and a step back, a couple days or a couple of weeks, and I see the relationship for what it is. I work on my grief and my anger. And when the relationship no longer serves me I drop it off.

I would block when I was angry or sad.

Much like the previous, I would use blocking as a way to work through my anger, or to get a point across. What I do now is I take some space. I’ll turn off my phone, immerse myself in something else until I feel centered.

I would write explanation after explanation.

Because I wanted him to understand me and the relationship, I wanted him to fix it. I wanted him to take the relationship as seriously as I was. Now what I do, I state my needs clearly. And then observe his behavior. I move on with or without him.

What all these have in common is that I wasn’t willing or able to see the situation for what it really was. I didn’t want to feel the pain. I didn’t want to feel the heartbreak. I was attached and desperate. And that's a really powerless state.