Ladies, do you use dating apps?

electroloop · 2020-08-30T22:46:59+00:00

Yes. And they’re all garbage. The likelihood of you meeting a HVM is like winning the lottery on them.

You can use dating apps to test your worth and your approach towards men. Learn how to assert yourself, say no, and ask what you’re really looking for. Learning to say “no” to walk dates and drink dates is great experience to gain on dating apps.

Ultimately, they’re a major waste of time.

2020-08-30T22:47:09+00:00

Here’s the thing.. sure you can practice and maybe meet an amazing man. Just assume everyone you meet is a LVM for 3 months. A lot of them are very skilled at this point at pretending and have been online dating for years scamming women. I also don’t believe we need practice dating HVM. All the bad or confusing situations seem to be with LVM. Also I know this is going to sound odd but I would say only meet 10 men total. Everyone I know who met someone online met him immediately like the first or second guy. Everyone else I know met 100 LVM and no keepers. So see if you are one who meets someone immediately and if not, don’t hold your breath lol. Friend #1 met a man in the first online date who loves cats, video games, pizza, and is messy. She is all of those things and they are married. They are both unattractive. Friend #2 met a man on her first date who has 4 kids and Is very blue collar. She has 4 of her own and is blue collar too. He isn’t attractive and she is gorgeous. They are married. So it depends what you are looking for. Everyone wants the rich, handsome, nice, funny man who is actually HV and one in a million.... so really they have every option and you are just hoping to be picked 😑😑😑the success matches with my friends were more realistic. I tried to be realistic and I just met fuck boys. Don’t lower your standards but don’t expect your standards to be online

dior-not-war · 2020-08-30T22:49:00+00:00

Personally, I think it is incredibly rare to find a man worth your time on a dating app. It’s possible, just not likely. Most men on there are only looking for hookups and the ones who want relationships are unattractive, broke, or weird. There are a lot of posts on here that talk about good places to meet men. However, it is difficult to meet someone right now because of the pandemic.

You could use them as practice but I think it would be a waste of your time more than anything.

Moonmask999 · 2020-08-30T23:29:10+00:00

no. why waste your time? “practice” is not worth your energy

healthfreak1012 · 2020-08-31T00:04:40+00:00

Practice not wasting time engaging in things that don’t make you happy and/or don’t readily assist you in your interpersonal relationship goals. It’s not worth the brain damage. You don’t need potentially painful lessons to gain knowledge about men.

Women are forced to believe that dating and relationships are hard, exhausting work and that’s the price for future“happiness”. It’s a lie. You’re under no obligation to “put yourself out there” and accrue experiences. Like seriously, what is the point?

Just like I don’t need to do a whole host of things (for example, I don’t need to stick my finger in an electrical outlet to practice my household safety skills) I similarly don’t need to OLD to brush up on enforcing my boundaries with men.

It’s counterproductive and silly to participate in something that’s awful and has an infinitesimal chance of success.

Here’s the thing- OLD is not reasonable, it doesn’t work and it exposes you to all sorts of bad shit- some of it dangerous. Sure, you might be the one who wins. But at what cost?

Why do you feel compelled to try? What will you gain?

Idk about you, but for me OLD, after while was a shitty mashup of “Where’s Waldo” (the lvm edition), pervert whack-a-mole and “The Twilight Zone Presents: Barbie’s Dream Date”.

So to answer your question, no I don’t use dating apps. And I don’t need more trashy men “practice”.

purasangria · 2020-08-31T00:21:00+00:00

Most men online are trash looking for women to scan for money or use for sex.

It's so hard to meet anyone right now with Covid-19 that OLD might seem like a good option, bit you're better off using your time to start a new business.

RiteWriter · 2020-08-30T23:04:32+00:00

It is good to notice red flags and fasttrack your “no” and unmatch/block reflex. I found two decent guys that I gave real chances to and was earnestly interested in getting to know but they were LVM for me. The chance lasted 4 weeks. Far too long for FDS but it was helpful for me. Definitely wasted time on many days but it reinforced the inner work I had done. I kept track of my feelings and flags I noticed.

GlobalDynamicsEureka · 2020-08-30T23:04:25+00:00

Nope. You will not find anyone worth your time there or at bars. High value people have busy lives doing better things with their time.

As for practice, it's almost like saying you're going to go to soccer practice to be better at astrophysics. Learning how to be in a relationship with high value men needs practice with high value men. You're not doing anything productive learning how to date low value men.

ndrpeaches · 2020-08-31T00:29:06+00:00

This is a great article on the topic:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/deleting-dating-apps-benefits

Also recommend:

https://www.psypost.org/2020/03/tinder-users-score-higher-on-a-measure-of-narcissism-machiavellianism-and-psychopathy-56187

2020-08-30T23:54:10+00:00

I like them for dating in small communities. Not so much for cities. It’s two entirely different environments.

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-08-30T23:36:40+00:00

I think there are LVM and HVM everywhere. I think HVM are less likely to be on dating apps though.

samarsharqi · 2020-08-31T00:13:16+00:00

I am using them to practise my own use of FDS principles and undo habitual pickmeism. I’ve learned that a level of FDS was innate for me but I bent to the will of socialisation and became a “nicer girl” (nicer because I can’t claim I’ve ever been nice).

Once it feels organic for me to ask the right questions, respond in a way that serves me, I will be logging off forever. I’m really starting to understand how scarce HVM are, and accept that I might not find a husband or have children. And that’s uncomfortable and a little sad for me, but marrying a piece of shit is a far worse fate. And so is constantly being hurt along the way.

Verysoftbun · 2020-08-31T06:25:31+00:00

I used it for about a month, dated one person for a while, he was Bad but he was like my fuck boy vaccine. (We never had sex but it taught me a bunch of abusive behavior to look out for). Then I dated 6 other people very quickly in am attempt to feel better about myself before realizing it didn't work and I wasn't having a good time or growing.

I took a step back for ? A year?

Then I used it to build up my ability to turn down men when they made me uncomfortable and to learn what wasn't okay.

I nearly had a date with a guy who wasn't bad but I could tell had cold feet. I didn't push him at all, followed his lead and eventually he asked me out and then never replied again when I agreed to the date.

Then I felt I could trust my intuition enough and I stopped.

The problem with Old for me is in my head I start to think I should try because what if The One is there. Then I go on and everyone's profile is a dumpster fire. I also don't think I can really click with people online first.

I don't think I'll ever do it again but I can't know for sure.

redfarmmmmm · 2020-08-31T10:31:21+00:00

If you want to meet variety of guys yes. But guys i met later revealed later down the road that they were LvMs no matter educated or good looking.

randomgirlimok · 2020-08-31T05:12:38+00:00

Absolutely not. You could be meeting up with a ted Bundy who seeks normal over text but is a psycho.

0kfornow · 2020-08-31T10:48:28+00:00

That would imply I'm looking, which I'm not. I have better things to do.

Title	Ladies, do you use dating apps?
Author	healthfreak1012
Upvotes	12
Comments	24
Date	August 30, 2020 10:42 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ijmam0/ladies_do_you_use_dating_apps/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ladies-do-you-use-dating-apps.211194 https://theredarchive.com/post/211194

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