Men are simple creatures

Men are simple creatures, very easy to please, you see.....you've got it all wrong all this time, silly ladies.

All they want is a woman who does as shes told, not some independent modern feminist woman.

What they really want is a stay at home housewife cooking and cleaning like the good ol days but if she asks for money shes a goldigging ruthless b*tch out to divorce rape them. She must go 50/50 until she's paid off most HIS mortgage/ bills and he's ready to make her financially dependent on him, but not too dependent or she'll divorce rape ofc. He might slow drip her some monthly money to get her nails done if shes lucky, but not too much or else she might dig them into another mans shoulders because women are sneaky manipulative wh*res constantly cheating and monkey branching, not like men are, being so loyal, loving and trustworthy.

She's got to look nice but not too nice or else she'll be demanding, materialistic and might attract other men. However he is allowed to ogle other women whenever and if she says anything about this shes clearly insecure, paranoid, crazy, losing her mind and totally out of line. I mean she's practically asking him to cheat, an accusation is a green pass. I don't make the rules you see.

They want a sassy educated woman to raise their 7 kids that they assume she wants.... a woman who is not a bimbo but not too smart that she smells their cheating fast and must be willing to give up her career for them whenever they decide and not surpass him in anything because he is the man and always right.

She must also never age or get fat even during pregnancy (idk hold your stomach in or something) because women expire at 30 you see which is why you have to rush and panic buy because you have no value by 30 and who doesn't want a man who thinks like that? However men always have value they never get fat, lose hair or age at all- literally 18 year olds are thirsting for 60 year old shriveled up penis, idk if anyone told you this so I'm giving you a heads up. She must also want lots of kids by 30 and once the melon comes out she must go back to normal or he'll cheat you see. He can't help it, its his biology. She must also not give too much attention to her child or he might sulk and cheat on Tinder whilst shes cooking.

However it is very fickle and shallow when women desire a tall attractive young man, they should take sympathy on broke, short, overweight and unattractive men or else they're very hollow shallow beings, not like the men who think you expire at 30 and only want to use you as a breeder/maid/ sex toy. I don't make the rules you see. However if she settles for a loser she doesn't fancy or cheats, its her fault for being an idiot. Stupid single moms ruining society- god its simple just get out your mystic ball before you date him.

Also women should open their legs fast for men because its manipulative to make them wait but they must keep them crossed waiting for the right guy to stop mucking around. Idk you'll have to strike a balance or something. Keep them crossed Monday to Friday and open for the weekends because otherwise men get blue balls and could literally explode you see, its quite serious. Also don't make them wear condoms or you'll suffocate their blueberries some more and you wouldn't want that now would you? But also if they don't make them wear a condom and declare your N count, he might think you're a wh*re- so that's something to think about.

She must also have a backbone and self respect but be willing to overlook him constantly cheating on Tinder bringing STI's back and never get mad about this or else she probably needs sectioning because he needs to spread his seeds even tho he doesn't want more baby mamma's hassling him for money. She must smile when he walks back fresh from cheating tho and be willing to suck his dick asap and serve him a freshly cooked meal on demand.

She must do all this and treat him like a literal king and be submissive but not too submissive because he'll get bored, cheat and won't respect her. He needs a challenge but not too much challenge because then he also might cheat.

She must be pretty but not too pretty and act like she doesn't know it to stroke his ego.

She must also have a minus negative N count but act like a pornstar on demand but not too dirty or else he'll see her as a whore and we don't want that because then he won't be able to help himself cheating again, its literally his lizard brain can't help it- nothing to do with the x rated porn...speaking of which watching pedo porn does not make him a pedo and if she finds him jerking off to mother and daughter porn she should get over it because she's clearly insecure.

She must also be quiet and never speak but not be too quiet cos then she'll bore him and he'll cheat because he can't help himself ofc he needs mental stimulation but not too much or shes nagging/ too much to handle.

She must also pretend to enjoy the sex even if its terrible and be willing to scream the walls down, but not too loud or else he might get bored of her voice or the neighbours might get too jealous. She must also never shout because that makes him feel bad and need validation from pickmeishas on Tinder you see. If she shouts too loud he might give her a smack and remind her he's the man. Ofc she shouldn't report this because all women are scheming calculated liars- I don't know any men who hit or rape women it must be a global feminist conspiracy.

She must also never grow hair anywhere except on her head and eyebrows and must wake up looking like a model or else he'll start stewing about Janet who rejected him in year 7 and start wondering what she's up to. If she forgets to shave her vagina one time, that's one strike and another pass to cheat because shes clearly let herself go and lizard brain wants a 13 yr old looking shaven vagina or else.

She should ignore his negging, gaslighting and manipulation cos its just a moodswing and a sign he really loves her, its just that women are too dumb to understand men's true love language : emotional manipulation and extreme volatile mind games. However he won't be taking any nonsense off his Mrs or he's out sticking his blueballs behind someone elses behind as punishment. And we wouldn't want them exploding because then your child wouldn't have a father. Of course she should do the majority of housework, childminding and cooking whilst he farts in his gaming chair and cheats on Tinder.

Oh I forgot to mention, she shouldn't have any demands or expectations of him whatsoever because lets be honest he's the prize, its not like other men want to pursue you, because your worth is always declining past the age of 18- the age you should look like forever or else you're really bringing it on yourself with the cheating aren't you my love. Maybe get your face frozen or something idk. You should probably pay for that and take out a loan too since you don't want to come across a goldigga. Don't go too overboard though cos he wants to still get an erection when he sees you frowning at his dodgy phone behavior for the 100th time that year.

You see, men are REALLY simple. Just not that kind of simple.

They can't make their mind up lol their dream girl is a walking paradox that can never truly exist because shes a walking contradiction at every turn, its impossible to meet their ridiculous idealizations and requirements.