This is a thought that I’ve been having for a few months. I need to know if this is logically sound.

Women should never date while they’re in a financial hurdle. It’s not about the 50/50 scenario; men should pay even if she has a job. However, I think that it puts us at a disadvantage since they might know about our temporary financial situation and use it against us.

I think about my friends and I in college and high school back to when we weren’t making money. Some of us were put into situations where we couldn’t afford cab fare home, so we had to comply.

There was this one instance in high school where this guy invited me to his friend’s house party. When I got there I found that I knew no one at party, they looked they were in college, and it was clear I wasn’t supposed to be here. I asked him to take me home, but he shrugged me off and told me that he didn’t care. I was shocked. I went outside called my parents told my mom I wanted to go home. No questions asked she said yes. I ended up running into this girl in the same class as me, and my parents gave her a ride home as well.

Another instance was when I was in my first year of university. I met a guy who knew that I was looking for a job. He pretended like he was understanding of it. He bought me coffee during my study breaks. I thought he was cute, genuine, and could blossom into something serious. I thought he saw something in me.🤡 The only thing he saw was my vulnerability since my parents were far away from me and I was so innocent. He offered to take me out again and we went to this chain restaurant kind of like Olive Garden. After dinner, I casually asked if he was bringing me to campus. He said no and we were going to his place. I declined and he went ballistic. He mentioned that he was a “nice guy” and reminded me about all he nice things he did like buying me coffee, and spending time with me. Mind you, this was the first week of school and I was still adjusting. By this point he refused to take me back to campus. It was traumatic for me. I didn’t have enough cab fare back to campus. I called my parents and they told me to take the cab home to their place and they’ll pay the driver which was two cities over. It was a $190 cab fare. In the morning, they gave me their credit card information for Uber and emergencies.

I had another friend who refused to have sex with a guy in his car, so he drove her home, but he “accidentally” groped her breast and thighs. She pretended that she didn’t notice because she didn’t want to be stranded.

This idea could also be applied to stay at home mothers. They gave up their income to care for their family, and their husbands do not see them as equals or recognize their work at home. For example I have a relative left her job because her husband convinced her to be a stay at home mother. At first, I saw that she was doing well. She got to buy new gadgets for the house and was able to maintain the same lifestyle she had before leaving work. Now after another kid, I noticed that she let herself go. Her husband makes snide comments at her, makes these rude comments about how he’s supporting the family, and without him they wouldn’t be having these nice things. Dude, all her clothes are from Walmart, and she’s much more quieter now.

Right now, my company is downsizing due to the pandemic and I’m back in grad school, I have chosen to remove myself from dating as a way of protecting myself and levelling up.