Opinions on this?

CeriseNoire · 2020-03-31T15:37:27+00:00

Men can like flowers, and a man like that who is worth sending them to could hypothetically exist. But since her friends are telling her that she's an idiot and since she's the kind of person who'd share this online after, still thirsty for approval and headpats...all signs point to idiot. They know him and they know why she shouldn't be sending this shit. I'd personally never send a man flowers unless he's some kind of hardcore botany enthusiast😆

nosynobody · 2020-03-31T17:58:34+00:00

If you are looking for internet validation against people who know you and your relationship irl. Then you know you are doing something wrong

thepastamancer · 2020-03-31T15:48:47+00:00

Being so scared of your friends' opinions is pretty sad, though if all of them hate your boyfriend this much you definitely need either a new boyfriend or a new friend group. Or both.

VikingPug · 2020-03-31T15:49:44+00:00

Any time I’ve ordered an ex flowers they didn’t appreciate it and or it made them feel weird. They can like them sure, but I don’t think it’s worth spending your $$ on.

jeanneeebeanneee · 2020-03-31T17:59:13+00:00

She's an idiot for tweeting this try-hard shit. Nobody cares if you bought your boyfriend flowers, and not every brain fart needs to be broadcast to the internet.

JoyJonesIII · 2020-03-31T16:37:56+00:00

I've never sent a man flowers because I think most guys would think it was a weird gift. But in the right circumstances (ie, they treat you awesomely and it's not a new relationship), there's nothing wrong with getting your boyfriend a gift.

MiaNaim · 2020-03-31T22:46:24+00:00

There's a YouTuber named Monique Head who had a story on this. She said that she would show love the way she wanted to receive it. Anyway the story was funny because you can tell that in that moment she got it. The gesture was lost on the guy. So, my answer is know your partner and his love language.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2020-03-31T16:48:35+00:00

If you’re in a healthy, long-term relationship, this is okay.

katiedarling37 · 2020-03-31T22:45:28+00:00

Also, I buy PLANTS for everyone. I’m on a budget and I think plants add to nearly every environment. I also use the plants’ future as a way to get an idea about a person - are they thoughtful, can they remember simple tasks (watering instructions) are they trustworthy or gigantic assholes? I’ve rarely been wrong about this, and even found that some people are great one on one, their plants thrived and they just sucked at dealing with certain people.

bloofoster · 2020-03-31T18:19:13+00:00

Is it some kind of gift projection?

She'd love flowers delivered so she has some delivered to him? Honestly, my DH would've only appreciated the flowers if it came with a card promising something special later. In which case, I could scrap the flower idea and leave a post-it in his lunch.

2020-03-31T22:36:29+00:00

They don't give a shit. Someone gave my male housemate flowers and he gave them to me because he was just like, "what even do I do with flowers?".

You put them on display, fool.

ms_monquis · 2020-03-31T20:16:17+00:00

What I really think is that people do a lot of mirroring and it doesn’t work. “I do this thing for you because it’s what I want you to do for me.” Sets us up for disappointment.

It’s kind of an interpretation of the Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you” isn’t quite right, if you think about it. What we want is, “Do not do to others as you would not have done to you,” or more to the point in this case, “Treat others as they would like to be treated.” The former a little more universal, and the latter for our intimates.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with sending your fella gifts. I love doing it, myself. But you send him something he wants, not something you want.

As far as her friends already scoping this guy as trash, maybe. The fact that she’s this nervous about it suggests to me that this is a new relationship, and people like to play a lot of games in (new) relationships, so I didn’t even jump to that conclusion. The friends may think it’s too femmy or that she shouldn’t being showing too much interest. Also maybe they think he’s a POS, but I’d think they’d have said something before this, so she wouldn’t be surprised.

siberiansummer · 2020-03-31T15:34:59+00:00

Well I’m glad she at least feels like an idiot cause she is one

Mangacomleite · 2020-03-31T16:51:08+00:00

She should trust her feelings. She is indeed an idiot.

Dismal-Storm · 2020-04-01T00:08:43+00:00

I don't see the Problem IF he reciprocates. That's why I don't like a lot of tips on fds too, telling me not to do "wifey" things... there should be no problem in doing him favors if he reciprocates or does more for me than I do for him. Because Only a doormat would keep giving his girlfriend love and favors for decades while receiving zero in return. And I'm definitely not looking for a doormat.

katiedarling37 · 2020-03-31T22:26:34+00:00

If he is into PLANTS - has a massive indoor garden or is in his yard as his main hobby and you want to surprise him with the gift of a plant he doesn’t have. Or he’s been looking for a new hobby and plants and gardening have been discussed, this is a level of thoughtful that is just perfect. Either his birthday or a promotion at work and you’ve cracked the ‘hard to buy for’ code. You see an awesome PLANT in the grocery store or order an expensive tree online.

Not a bouquet of flowers unless he’s talked about how to propagate those flowers and knows what the fuck he’s doing.

But just a random bouquet to a guy who doesn’t give a shit? Buy the flowers for yourself and dump the shitbag. Consider getting really into plants as a hobby.

aclumsygirl · 2020-03-31T17:23:24+00:00

I've never met a heterosexual man who wanted flowers from a woman. I've worked with guys who've gotten flowers from women and they were totally mortified.

It's a LV move, even in a committed relationship.

appleadam123 · 2020-03-31T17:18:29+00:00

She is just fishing for likes

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2020-04-01T02:14:51+00:00

Mistake. It’s a masculine move. It will turn off any man who is a provider.

2020-03-31T19:10:39+00:00

She's gonna find out his other gf and other side bitch are sending him flowers too.

Title	Opinions on this?
Author	alchademy
Upvotes	151
Comments	29
Date	March 31, 2020 3:31 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fseyke/opinions_on_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/opinions-on-this.679252 https://theredarchive.com/post/679252

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