Protect your energy from everyone

dollymyfolly · 2021-01-14T17:03:56+00:00

Honestly many of the dangerous situations I’ve gotten into was the result of trusting a pickme too soon. Left out alone in a strange part of town and assaulted by a group of men? It’s because my pick-me friend left me alone for some bar dick. My sister’s husband screamed at me until I cried and she ran to comfort him. Pickmes are remarkably disloyal and make awful company. They’re like little lap dogs and will dance around for men’s approval and you’ll never be as important to them as a random man. Girls who break the girl code are trash 🗑

Men are almost more straightforward. I expect abuse from them almost. But pickme women are insidious. Whenever I’ve felt betrayed, it was because of a pickme woman.

lskfjd743 · 2021-01-14T17:07:09+00:00

Pickmes can also be hazardous to your health. I recall a couple of months ago someone posting here on FDS about how her pickme friend in college invited her out to a party, but when they arrived, they were at an abandoned warehouse and some strange man tried to pull the OP out of the taxi. She found out later that pickme promised her bf that she would act as a procuress for bf's creepy friend!

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-01-14T17:33:52+00:00

[deleted]

monch-bred · 2021-01-14T18:28:16+00:00

I visited a friend while we were in college, and she took me to a party across the city. Within a few minutes, she told me she was dipping to go hook up with this guy — turns out that was her plan all along — but not to worry, her male BFF will make sure I make it back to the dorms. Well, her male BFF attempted to sexually assault me, and laughed in my face when I loudly said I don’t consent. I ended up having to run and hold a door shut, it was terrifying.

I told my friend about it when she came back from her hookup, and her comment was “oh yeah he does that sometimes.”

???? She knowingly left me with her pos rapist friend so she could hook up with a guy. I never forgave her for that, and haven’t talked with her since.

powderpoff6 · 2021-01-14T17:49:54+00:00

Thank you so much for posting this. I am trying to commit to a lifetime of sobriety and have so many friends who sneer and make jokes about how I'm not fun to be around anymore. - low key negs that are "just jokes" and that I need to calm down. FUCK THAT. I am choosing my life and my health and I deserve the best of those things. Anyone who tries to cut me down because they're projecting their own shit can suck a d.

You have no idea how much the sub has helped me think about great advice and self-love in general, far outside the realm of dating.

Raising a non-alcoholic seltzer to the Queens in this sub!

gaia_tree · 2021-01-14T17:08:38+00:00

I know what you mean, a "friend" of mine calls only to vent. Last call she kept asking me to tell her that she was over reacting for how her situation is. I told her no, I will not invalidate your feelings of how this man is making you feel and you shouldnt either. No matter how little or big it may be, you feel hurt. You are not over reacting you deserve the best and if it was me Id be hella pissed too. She then goes quiet and says "uhhh yeaa i think its just my period." Im like you can make excuses and complain about whats happening all you want but until you do something nothing will change. She then tells me she feels less angry at her man but for some reason has anxiety. I tell her well its because I didnt tell you what you wanted to hear. She then says yea well i got to go. I felt taken a back, trying to be a good friend back fired. Shes since ignored my text and hasnt hit me up. Honestly who needs a friend that only calls to complain and doesnt care about her own well being or ever mine as she never follows up with me - only calls when shes angry or sad just to hang up after she dumped her negativity on me. Her boy is horrible and so many red flags but shes deluded by "love" and accepts the bare minimum and thinks its the best thing in the world.

Its best to let people like that go. For sake of sanity

Express_Chocolate_60 · 2021-01-14T17:54:36+00:00

Relatable. LVM's and Pickmes are the reason why I'm choosing to be alone, so from "hating to be lonely", I've ended up like "I absolutely love being by myself."

Why? I have a ton shit of hobbies that need to be cultivated and people didn't actually added value to my life, they just took, abused and discarded me. Never again.

princessofanothersun · 2021-01-14T17:16:34+00:00

This is so difficult. My best friend of 3 years has been drifting away, while I'm in the middle of divorcing my abusive husband. I always blame it on her being preoccupied with her own shitty relationship. It feels so wrong to cut off another woman who I suspect is dealing with an emotionally abusive man and probably is suffering from that. But the one-sided support really makes me feel like shit. I wouldn't let a man treat me like this. I shouldn't feel like I have to chase my "best friend". I've shared resources with her like this sub and Why Does He Do That but I don't think she's used them. I don't know what else to do :(

Laur_mar · 2021-01-14T18:35:36+00:00

So true, think of how a pickme friend will give you their advise which comes from their mindset. How they wont see your point of view as a hvw. I've certainly had friends try to make me second guess my gut feeling, give me terrible advice and leave me stranded in a bar to go sleep with a scrote only to beg for forgiveness and promises that they'd take my advice next time.

Who you choose to be in your circle should uplift you, support you and be someone you can relay on for advice if needed. It doesn't matter how big or small it is because it's all about the quality of the people in it.

undertheunderbelly · 2021-01-14T23:33:08+00:00

I had a friend who I considered a best friend. And then she started dating men again and it just... ruined her. She became the pickiest pickme of pickme's. All she would do was talk about a guy and then cry about things he's been doing that she's upset about without dumping him.

I used up so much energy trying to console her. All she would talk about was herself and her "man" and the issues that surrounded their relationship. It didn't really hit me until I had surgery and ... all she did was talk about her man. Literally asked me one question about myself and then kept talking about her issues.

I grieve for our friendship, what it was. I don't know what happened to her, but at this point I don't really think it's worth throwing more of my energy into that dumpfire. I love her and wish her the best, but we're no longer friends.

LittleBoBooBoo · 2021-01-14T22:22:54+00:00

Yea I have a friend who in some ways seemed high value but over time i just realized she is utterly self interested. For whatever reason she just never reciprocated the energy and consideration I poured into our friendship, but was happy to keep taking from me.

Title	Protect your energy from everyone
Author	Dontstopmenow2021
Upvotes	249
Comments	37
Date	January 14, 2021 4:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kx8exe/protect_your_energy_from_everyone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/protect-your-energy-from-everyone.728595 https://theredarchive.com/post/728595

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