Remember, wanting gifts isn't shallow or materialistic, but it's also your right to decide what kind of gifts and level of effort you're willing to accept. Me? That pink flower better be made of gold, buddy. 🤣🤣🤣

Pornruinedsociety · 2021-04-24T06:59:15+00:00

For me it's not about money, it's about generosity. All the men I've been with that have been stingy and wouldn't pay for dates, ended up being the ones who really didn't care about me, this includes my second husband. They end up being the men who use you and are takers and not givers. The most generous man I dated, was a tradesman, he didn't have much money, but he was still generous in many ways, not just offering to pay for meals and buy food, but he would fix things in my house and make me things without having to ask. I would say out of all the men I've been with, I felt like he cared about me the most. Now there are obviously some men who will lovebomb and buy you lots, who aren't nice guys. But in my experience the men who are "50/50" have all turned out to be selfish users.

sassyheather · 2021-04-24T07:23:53+00:00

I think it’s sexy when men are generous, but also smart with their money. I don’t like extremes - like my ex who blew a few months worth of salary on buying me gifts and treating me to SPAs, brunches and dinners to then be left with an almost empty bank account and ask ME for money instead of his parents. Or the ex who always tried to find part-time jobs in order to have money and support himself while studying, but paid on a date only once, whilst buying weed and alcohol way too often.

janetheautomaton · 2021-04-24T09:02:30+00:00

Imagine advertising your martyr complex like this.

"Gosh, I'm so inexperienced with being given thoughtful gifts, look how easy it is to get a big emotional reaction out of me. Why can't everyone be as grateful as I am for the scraps I'm thrown?"

betsybasset · 2021-04-24T08:05:56+00:00

For you darling: with or without 🤡🤡

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Aocwannabe · 2021-04-24T13:56:40+00:00

We need to educate women that: 1. There is a difference between being materialistic and wanting to be provided for. I’m not into designer handbags (no shame to the women that love them😘) but I do expect a man to buy me things he knows I like and take me on trips. I think of crass materialism as people who want to “keep up with the Jones” mentality and consume things to feel validated. It’s different than enjoying being comfortable and how safe a woman feels when she sees that it makes a man happy to make her comfortable.

It’s ok! to want to be provided for and taken care of! Wtf has happened in America that straight men take ZERO pride in protecting and providing for their significant others and their families!
Stingy people are like that in all domains of their life. Expect that they will want your free emotional labor and then offer nothing in return. If you are a generous person, run! It’s literally a bad financial decision to be intimate (I won’t even be friends with cheap women) with stingy, cheap people.
Cheap/stingy and broke are 2 different things. But broke men shouldn’t be dating until they can take care of themselves. I 100% support broke women who will only date men that will help support them. Women have less opportunities in the world and less time for children (if they want them). Plus, ALL women do invisible unpaid labor and add value to men’s lives.

little_sparrow152 · 2021-04-24T09:55:18+00:00

I sort of agree with the woman in the tweet.

As long as it's not the only gifts you ever get, for me, it's the thought that counts. I don't expect a partner to spends a ton of money on gifts for me every month, if it's just something cute and personal from time to time.

Flowers aren't terribly expensive, and I love roses, so I'd love to receive some too. But if the guy only gets them after he messed up & thinks he'll get an instead forgiven-and-forgotten and demand, then boy, do i have some bad news for you...

Connect-Ad-9361 · 2021-04-24T10:17:43+00:00

She used a bad example but I agree with the spirit of what she was getting at.

Maybe frame it as, you like a particular kind of lily or a certain color of rose that is harder to find than just red pink or white, and someone goes out of their way to find you that specific thing because they know you like it. Even if it costs the same as every other bouquet it means more because they took the time to learn and understand you and your preferences, and applied that knowledge.

wepersisted · 2021-04-24T19:44:07+00:00

Here's the rule I personally follow: if a guy can't provide for me in at least the same way that I can provide for myself, what good is he? I don't need a man to take care of me, but I'm looking for someone who wants to take care of me. Otherwise, I'm lowering my standards and opening myself up for potential exploitation. I expect a partner, not a project.

The most generous man I've dated was a grad student who worked part-time. He didn't have much, but he would pay his bills and then anything leftover he would dedicate to courting me. He would always pay for dates, surprise me with thoughtful gifts (anything from a $20 bouquet of "just because" flowers to designer jewelry), and never once complain. Generosity is one of the most important traits to search for in a relationship. It doesn't matter if a man is broke or a millionaire — if he doesn't spend a dime on you or if he makes you feel like a burden for having standards, he's trash.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-04-24T15:19:05+00:00

It’s so shallow and materialistic to want gifts? Women should just be generous with their time, body and money for you and never want anything in return! Or else they are shallow materialistic b#tches!

zazaleaz · 2021-04-24T15:39:40+00:00

It's just knowing they thought about you enough to think "she would like this" and then gifting it. TBH this has never ever, not even once in my life, happened to me from a man I was seeing or in a relationship with. From friends and family? Yes many times. I personally give a lot of gifts to everyone I care about because it's a great way to show people you're thinking about them. I especially love giving my friends thoughtful gifts for no reason.

Men who don't give gifts don't appreciate getting them either in my experience. They can't comprehend the idea of thinking about someone and doing something nice for them just because. They see holidays as chores. I have never met a man who knew how to "speak" this love language.

ketodietclub · 2021-04-24T17:34:07+00:00

I'd be happier with a clean kitchen than flowers.

Fortunately hubby washes up.

the-lonely-spirit · 2021-05-04T01:51:20+00:00

Oh lawd yes.

I like roses and flowers. A bouquette? Sure...?

But give me a plant that I can nurture and water every day? Not only would that show what I prefer but it's kind of symbolic.

Oh...and chocolate swiss rolls would make me scream in delight lmao

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