Reminder:

Aocwannabe · 2021-08-12T01:40:08+00:00

Respect is my love language.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-08-12T07:04:48+00:00

I know it's hard. If you are a former codependent and Adult Child of A/ N, it will be hell for you. You have an interesting pattern of coding familiarity over what's healthy.

Go treat yourself. Go heal yourself. Work on yourself. You will be alone for a while, users/"friends" will ditch you because you develop boundaries, you'll go through gaslighting from family and acquaintances that used to benefit from your codependency and your lack of boundaries, you will piss many people off. They'll guilt trip you. You will second guess yourself a lot, and doubt yourself. All this, until one day you will say 'no more'.

Being healthy is a conscious decision. Respecting yourself is a conscious decision. Self accountability is hard when all your life you've been "the help" and "the supporting character".

basicbagels · 2021-08-12T01:09:31+00:00

Amen. Healing starts from within, always ❤️

Aocwannabe · 2021-08-12T02:00:45+00:00

Relationships are healing but they are not therapy!

I_know_right_AS_IF · 2021-08-12T04:49:21+00:00

My ex was severely codependant. No matter what I did, how much time I spent with him, it was never enough. I think I'm a great partner, thoughtful, loving, caring, and giving. I did the little things for him and the big things too! But because I wasn't around him 24/7, or was his therapist when he was dEpResSeD, and he wasn't my #1 priority (I'm a parent, I'm not even my own top priority most of the time!), he told me I didn't put enough effort into the relationship.

He really sucked the life out of me, and it still wasn't enough for him. It was awful, always feeling like I couldn't reach those goal posts. Breaking up with him was such a great decision; I feel like I can breathe now.

The day after we broke up, he told me he knew his codependancy fucked up our relationship and he was going to get help. I checked his reddit account a week later and he had posted in a sex sub about his new partner 🙄 absolutely shocking! /s

_laufaeson · 2021-08-12T09:38:37+00:00

STBXH and I were both codependent on each other. He’s walking straight back into that trap (with a 20something, no less), but I’m withholding my “I told you so.” Meanwhile, I’m keeping myself single and happy. Edit: we’re both in our mid 30’s

FirePreferred_theOG · 2021-08-12T16:50:43+00:00

the more you give to others that are unwilling to give back to you the less you have for yourself and to give to those who will value you. HURTING YOURSELF DOES NOT HELP PEOPLE. read that again.

Love you all!

XxShykatxX · 2021-08-13T03:48:32+00:00

I highly recommend the book: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. It's a lifesaver and game changer. She puts the concepts so beautifully and easily to understand.

blackmetalbetty · 2021-08-12T22:17:33+00:00

Okay Google, play Save Yourself by Stabbing Westward.

randomgirl34861 · 2021-08-13T23:09:53+00:00

Faith has helped me with this concept a lot. God didn’t send me to the Earth to heal people and love them regardless of their sins, that’s Jesus’s job 😇

Title	Reminder:
Author	BlueJeanMistress
Upvotes	1592
Comments	17
Date	August 12, 2021 12:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/p2pxh0/reminder/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/reminder.958789 https://theredarchive.com/post/958789

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