Single by choice-know your value and never settle!

supremelyparanoid · 2020-01-24T01:45:22+00:00

I often find that people (men and women) still look down on you if you’re single by choice. I’ve had a pitying looks before and people ask me why I didn’t continue to see a LVM or why I don’t have casual sex like it’s the weirdest thing in the world not to fuck strangers.

There is power in having standards and sticking to your guns. It’s something that people who are afraid to be alone will never understand.

WyvernCharm · 2020-01-24T03:55:18+00:00

This is so true.

I also see it as a response to the way a lot of boys are raised with heaps of praise and special treatment. When they grow up being given preferential treatment and adoration for being average that has got to do a number on their young minds.

You see it all the time with men who think they have superior logic and math skills and spacial reasoning. Then you ask them to pack the trunk for a trip and they stand there for 10 minutes trying to shove the same damn thing into the same damn place over and over again.

So (after waiting long enough as to not be too hard on their egos) you offer to help. And they refuse. And they try for another handful of minutes until they lose their temper and walk away. And then you shift two things to the left, pull one thing out and put it in horizontally instead of vertically and pack the damn trunk. -And 3 minutes later they come back and ask if your ready yet.

They have learned that they are the best at everything and that they have the magical ability to walk away and have things done when they come back. And they never try to learn. And they never consider if their ego is deserved.

Sorry for the rant ladies. it's just happened so many times.

Bitemebitch00 · 2020-01-24T02:34:08+00:00

I’m surprised this doesn’t have more comments or upvotes. This is extremely spot on in my opinion. We told girls that can have and do anything and be anything they dream of. And the boys were expecting to be how their fathers were. That’s just not gonna cut it. 🙅🏼‍♀️💇🏼‍♀️

dopesoaprope · 2020-01-24T01:30:22+00:00

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

jetpatch · 2020-01-24T06:54:58+00:00

[deleted]

Ms_Tilly · 2020-01-24T02:05:10+00:00

Wow! Exactly how I feel.

africantheindian · 2020-01-24T05:41:54+00:00

Marriage is not the be all and end all in life.

YveisGrey · 2020-01-24T12:46:31+00:00

While I do want to marry it’s important to know that marriage is a system that benefits men more than women. That’s why in most societies a woman committing adultery was considered much worse than a man. Heck in many societies it wasn’t even considered wrong for a man to step out on his wife. The more financially independent women become the less marriage benefits us. I honestly believe that if you can’t marry up it really isn’t worth it. You’ll be doing most of the housework, home management, and child care regardless. It’s not an equal division of labor at all, yet men keep acting like they are the losers in marriage. 🙄

2340000 · 2020-01-24T04:55:56+00:00

One of the hardest things is dealing with bullying from men because they want you to lower your standards. Doesn't matter if it's your husband, boyfriend, coworker, boss, friend, family member,... They will find a way to bully you into subservience and I hate it, it gets into your psyche.

I have always stuck with my standards and from a young age I knew what I wanted. As young as 14, guys were calling me stuck up and I (23 now) still find being single preferable to mistreatment. I mean it's unfathomable because if a guy wasn't qualified for a engineering job he wouldn't even be considered for hire. But men feel so entitled to women that they try and get the one they want through implicit and explicit abuse. This world runs on victim blaming/narcissism so all a guy has to do is accuse the woman of being stuck up with high standards. They wouldn't dare say that to a hiring manager.

pearpastor · 2020-01-24T08:48:27+00:00

There are so many people I know who need to see this. I've told them (men and women) countless times times to leave relationships that was not working for them, they weren't happy in, or just didn't want to be in. But time, and time again they choose to stay in those dreary relationships because they don't want to be alone.

Just fyi, there is nothing better than hearing a "I was single because I was focusing on XY and Z."

CuriousCatNYC777 · 2020-01-24T11:01:58+00:00

I’m not living my life to fulfill others expectations. I’m living my life to be happy. If an HVM is part of it, great. If not, still great. No compromising for LVM: I’ve never seen this work.

goatismycopilot · 2020-01-24T11:38:55+00:00

Because I am older and divorced most women my age nod thoughtfully when I say I would never get married again. The men always look perplexed and try and argue with me.

suaveagave · 2020-01-24T11:47:34+00:00

So true.

Older generations of men were entitled to disenfranchised women who did not have the means to be financially independent. Women gained the right to have and use credit in the 70’s (fucking crazy). We’re living in the first generation of women that have the option not to be with men, and when you look at the declining marriage and birth rates of developed nations, it’s no surprise women are choosing to be alone. I’m hopeful that maybe in another generation or two, after men swallow the bitter pill that they have to step up their game, we’ll see more healthy, equitable, and loving relationships and marriages.

Til then, keep putting in the work ladies. Future generations of women are counting on us to hold fast.

EmergencyShit · 2020-01-24T02:50:07+00:00

This is fantastic and so true!

Title	Single by choice-know your value and never settle!
Author	AntiCircles
Upvotes	331
Comments	39
Date	January 24, 2020 1:05 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/et2scp/single_by_choiceknow_your_value_and_never_settle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/single-by-choice-know-your-value-and-never-settle.684156 https://theredarchive.com/post/684156

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