this is long. but i discovered you all and i feel like i finally found a place i can talk about this. mods don't let you post about this topic in dating subs or twox (because they don't want to start drama they say) but....

​

i have to talk about THE WALL and the okcupid sTuDy. for the sake of impressionable women who linger on reddit and are being driven crazy by the creeps pushing this stuff.

​

so the okcupid "study". gospel in loser circles, right? a cornerstone document of the "women hit a wall, while men age like wine" mythos.

If you somehow have missed it: the gist is that OkCupid released data showing that no matter what age the men were, they always prefer women around age 20. Meanwhile, women prefer men within a few years of their own age range as they age. OkCupid released this data and announced "women peak at 20, men at 45"!

Soon after, every blog, news site and meme factory on the internet started cranking out non stop material about it: men are so disgusting! women expire! at 20! men only date young women! women hit a wall! The dating market has flipped for men! most men are pedos! source??: okcupid data.

the sensationalism died out, but reddit continued to carry the flame. and it's still going strong. people still constantly reference that "study". women are always talking about how it fucks with their self esteem. but there are some things women whould know..

** First of all, the OkCupid data was released by a guy who runs OkCupid **

​

He used specific data, from a specific time period, for a reason. It was a marketing strategy. It exploits insecurity in women about their looks. tale as old as time. the idea is to send them panicked toward dating sites: "i'm 22 and i'm already past my peak?!?! i'm ugly now! i better settle down with someone before i'm undesirable!"

Meanwhile, they exploit the insecurity of aging men, especially DIVORCED, OLDER men (a notoriously vulnerable target demographic, rife with high suicide rates and crippling loneliness). this sends them flocking to online dating too: "i just heard that men over 45 are at their peak! and that women want us now!!! i better get in on this..."

it also exploits insecurity in young men by telling them they aren't good enough because they don't have rEsOuRcEs and ExPeIriEnCe compared to these old guys. so young men make profiles hoping to play a numbers game against the imaginary competition that okcupid has created. none of it is real. everyone is being manipulated.

one of the lies that gets spread is that young women want older men but older women are undesirable. men "peak" at 45! women "peak" at 20!

if you went up to a 90 year old man with a magic wand and told him you were going to transform him back to any age of his choosing, when he was in his prime - do you REALLY think he would choose 45? hell fucking no. he would choose his late 20s or his 30s,

next thing:

consider the differences between the way women use online dating and the way men use online dating.

...in general A LOT of men use it for sex. 

​

younger men find relationships online dating more often. so MAYBE young men really ARE looking for relationships (i still have my doubts but anyway...) older men are looking for sex. and consider what types of older men are even on dating sites. divorced middle aged guys? who don't have any prospects in their own lives and are very likely unattractive? of course they're gonna use an opportunity to talk to beautiful women who would otherwise not give them the time of day in real life.

​

meanwhile, MOST women are using online dating in hopes to find a life-long partner. they're not using online dating for sex, they're not going to bother with young men. of course the men they are most "attracted" to are going to be their age.

Notice how no one ever discusses the okcupid statistics about how women find 80 percent of men on okCupid to be unattractive? in fact anytime that data gets posted on reddit it gets heavily downvoted. do you want upvotes on reddit? link to the okcupid study about women "peaking" at 20, but stay far far away from any of the stats about women finding men (especially older men) undesirabe. it's just not cannon on reddit.

but why would reddit be like this? because. most people are reddit are men...and when i say men i'm not talking normal, well adjusted men. a huge portion of reddit men are THOSE types (lol ok idk how to describe the 'type' without being viciously mean and i don't wanna go down that road...but you know the type)

next thing:

in reality, most couples are the same age. women prefer "older" men, yes. but that's older as in literally 2-3 years. A HUGE majority of couples are the same age, or with the man being 1-6 years older. not 15. not 20. those relationships are RARE. in fact, those relationships are not just rare, they also have very bleak statistical outlooks. sizable age gaps bring huge challenges to realtionships. Again, most people partner up with people their own age. even before women had any semblance of civil rights and were living in the midst of male domination, they were typically married to like-aged men.

"well thats because men are just "settling" for women thier own age" - reddit men say - "but they're still daydreaming of 19 years olds."

ok! i counter with this: so what. 

we (women) do the same.exact.thing. the average age of male porn stars that women enjoy is 22. twenty fucking two. most posters and magazines sold feature YOUNG men. consider the average male hearthrob. ALWAYS a beautiful full head of hair, in shape, gorgeous skin, almost always young (in their 20s and 30s) grown women fawning over the young BOYS from stranger things. From twilight. From harry potter. etc etc etc.

people want companionship. they want meaningful relationships. despite what reddit implies, very few people truly want transnational relationships where an older man 'buys' a young woman. yes it happens sometimes. but MOST people want partners that truly love them. they don't want to be second-guessing their partners motivations all the time. they want to be respected. they want to be loved well. cuddle around a campfire and drink a beer with their partner. they want to tease each other and play and joke around while making dinner together. they want to discuss and share life with someone. most people want partners their own age or within a reasonable age range. the reality is NOT as bleak as you think. it's time to retire the "i saw a study about how men want teenagers" b.s.

​

Lastly, "the wall". ladies, young ladies especially: no matter how many times you hear the manipulative pathetic repetition tactics of mgtow-ers it will never make their fantasy true. look around with your own eyes. are you seeing men aging like wine? are you seeing women fawning over middle aged men? cuz i'm seeing women being creeped out by middle aged men. and women aging better than their counterparts.

​

it's projection. the wall is real. MEN really do hit a wall at 30. by 30, they are expected to be successful, to have found a long term girlfriend or a wife, to have "made it". meanwhile, testosterone is fleeing. their hair thins out. they lose muscle. fat distrubution changes in men, which means they carry fat in their bellies. they get hair on their backs and lose it from their heads. i've seen it described as "body horror" and that's about right. it's like a werewolf movie. imagine what that's like! it's got to be fucking awful. in addition to THAT, many start to suffer with ED. and for men who missed out on having children it is probably pretty hard to deal with the fact that their sperm quality plummets in their mid 30s and their doctors tell them please consider freezing sperm before 35. there's a reason sperm banks want sperm from young men 18-35. they will only accept 35-39 as a last resort and have a hard line cut off after that, NO ONE is going to put women at risk and give them sperm from men over 40, no matter how loudly they declare that they are in their supposed "pEaK".

​

are young women are GORGEOUS? duh. who on earth doesn't agree with that. young men are gorgeous too. but everybody ages. the magical thing about being a WOMAN however, is that your "PEAK" beauty is so off the charts high that even as it falls it stays pretty fucking high. lol. just stay in shape. take care of yourself. it really is that easy for women. we don't have to deal with any of the BODY HORROR that men have to deal with as early as their damn 30s. if you prioritize staying beautiful, i mean if that's something that is important to you (toatlly fine btw) you CAN do it. look around you in the real world. i mean, even just look at the examples that these mgtow types present. i know that sometimes they use pics of like mums who let themselves go or women who did drugs or whatever, but look at the flawlessly beautiful women they tell us are disgusting: scar jo, emilia clarke, winona ryder, jennifer aniston, selma hayek, etc they say things like "they hit the wall hard". meanwhile, these women are killing it lol AND are still unbelievable looking. are we supposed to not believe our lying eyes? are we not seeing the same images? meanwhile they recycle the same pics of george clooney, keanu, steve carrell, brad pitt and leo (barf btw) as PROOF that men age like wiiiiiiiiiine. it's hard to yawn and laugh out loud at the same time but somehow i manage.

​

but besides all that, peak in other ways ladies. get awesome at an instrument. delve deep into your favorite hobbies. kick ass at work. learn languages. embrace your sense of humor. whatever. remember, women report higher levels of happiness as they age. Very few women look back at their early 20s and go ooohhhhh life was soooo easy i miss my old self. Lol, when women actually get out of their 20s they're like hey wtf, i was lied to. it's all a big dumb lie.

​

sorry for the length and shitty formatting bleh

​

tldr: a lot of reddit got punked by OkCupid marketing, dont let it happen to you. also, reddit and OLD is not representative of reality