The Onion made a video about us 😂

Pasdepromesses · 2020-08-27T19:29:48+00:00

"Could you talk us through the deal that Mr. Greenman is offering the Attractive Girls Union at this point? Well, he's begun doing 5 to 6 push ups per night and has announced he plans to start jogging soon. That's in addition to what he's offered since the beginning of this stand off, namely being 'up for anything' and a 'nice guy' unlike most of the douchebags the Attractive Girls Union repeatedly renews her contracts with"

I'm screaming. How did they so accurately describe the average Reddit user?!

Sage_Planter · 2020-08-27T19:33:54+00:00

It's funny because it's true. I love The Onion.

Self improvement doesn't magically guarantee a partner (that's another bad narrative society tries to sell us), but there's so many men who would have much better success in dating if they took small, consistent steps to better themselves.

There's also loads of men who complain about being single, but when you ask them what they're looking for, the answer is "around 22, could be mistaken for a model..." I had a very average 40-something coworker who always complained about being single, and he was chasing much better looking, much younger women without giving any thought to who was more attainable.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-08-27T21:01:37+00:00

"he must offer conversation beyond video games and his favorite sports team which is all he currently offers."

elementalvirago · 2020-08-27T19:57:10+00:00

[deleted]

k20_4 · 2020-08-27T21:35:27+00:00

"Any other questions regarding my smile or my wave need to be directed towards my office."

CassieGreen85 · 2020-08-28T00:44:10+00:00

"He fucks up everything, why does he even try anymore"

OMFG I'm dead XD

heleninthealps · 2020-08-27T19:19:27+00:00

The ending is the best 😂

Kimpractical · 2020-08-28T01:24:07+00:00

I know this is satire but this is some queen-shit energy. I’m saving this video to remind myself of how I need to be!

SuccessfulShow5 · 2020-08-27T22:52:21+00:00

This was sooooo funny 😂😂😂😂

a-shrinking-violet · 2020-08-27T21:38:56+00:00

Does this mean that the women who accuse you of bOdY sHaMiNg if you express any preferences are scabs? 😂

Noemie_Mathilde · 2020-08-28T06:36:33+00:00

"The Insecure Girls Union"=Pickmeishas.

2020-08-28T04:53:40+00:00

omfg I am DYING over my morning cup of coffee, ty for this 😂😂😂

Jasmineof-Agrabah · 2020-08-28T02:44:54+00:00

Omg omg I love this 😂

Noemie_Mathilde · 2020-08-28T06:33:42+00:00

The Onion probably has some FDSers on the staff?

warinmymind94 · 2020-08-28T17:35:52+00:00

She made a diagram of how he currently dresses versus how he needs to dress, as well as explained why he's boring. The YouTube comments are butthurt but this is why we don't give chances to gross lvms

mydeepestinnerworks · 2020-08-27T19:12:14+00:00

With each view and dislike his video gains more traction and money. I won’t even bother watching it.

Title	The Onion made a video about us 😂
Author	BaffledBazaar
Upvotes	267
Comments	35
Date	August 27, 2020 7:10 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ihrc90/the_onion_made_a_video_about_us/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-onion-made-a-video-about-us.170458 https://theredarchive.com/post/170458

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