This Generation of Men | FemaleDatingStrategy

[–]Scrubbles9450 points51 points52 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]throwawway209111 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Scrubbles9432 points33 points34 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

More like Steak House vs Walmart. People go places because they are looking for something. The mere place in which you meet someone tells you already a vague idea of what they are looking to find there. Those are little moments in which they go outside their everyday routine, to look for what they don't usually find there.

Some people are just looking for fun but expecting people to notice them, so they go to nightclubs. Others go for talking in a non-formal manner, so they go to bars. There is people that go hiking, looking for peace and quiet. Other go for movies or museums, craving for a creative experience. You get the idea.

The more specific are the things that you can do at a certain place, the more it tells you about the people that gather there. So, if you meet someone at a place you enjoy, it's more likely that you'll be looking for the same things. But when areas are more diverse, you should ask yourself "What kind of expectations does he has about the people at this specific place?". You don't go to a soccer match and think that you'll have sex right after the match. Like you don't go to a club and expect a long lasting emotional connection with someone that is just there to get drunk with friends. I hope this helps c:

[–]numberfourbackinshow11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

My friend met her husband online. I just couldn’t hack the online dating thing. I have been going to pub trivia for seven long years and got three boyfriends out of it during that time plus a few one night stands. I met a man years ago doing that and we are still great friends and he still loves me l, but I met another guy here as well and I am so in love with him, he is perfect for me, so I totally agree with the post about doing things you love, but be patient too. I was meeting a guy on average every three years doing this one evening a week. I can never tell from photos if I’m going to have chemistry with someone but holy hell I knew within minutes of meeting these guys that I had crazy chemistry with them. I suppose if you are looking for something more sexual than romantic then these sites could be a good resource.

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[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

do they really?!! at that age still? I've had a couple of guys use the nervous excuse thing...and I'm always thinking is this guy inexperienced. But with those 2 that had that issue, it kept happening and I got fed up. There came more excuses 'i drank too much' etc etc.. It starts to get real awkward when its the 3rd time failing. I am used to having no issues in that dept.. so it makes u feel bit deflated

Like don't get me wrong girls won't hold it against a guy if he goes soft once or can't go again straight away. We're not that evil lol. I was seeing a hot guy not too long ago who had the odd slips (tbf we were at it 12 rounds a time) and I just didn't make a thing of it.

But yeh sometimes guys are overthinking it with the nerves, better to just get caught in the moment and buy yourself some time getting touchy or something. If you have got to the point of getting the girl in bed, and naked I don't think u need to worry so much

[–]Drewbixtx1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Let me start by saying that I’m not downplaying the female experience, I know y’all have many issues you deal with, and I honestly don’t believe the two could compare in any way. That being said, you have to understand a guys perspective. Our minds are almost always on sex, our daily lives are driven by our wiener half the time. We are always looking for a woman, and for the mature, one that we can share our life with.

Additionally, though that search is constant, the main focus is the find someone we can get to bed, keep around, and hopefully marry (depending on the guy, the order of those can change). So anytime we get a woman to bed, she could be the one, and any lacking in the bedroom could cause that to fall through. Couple all this with the fact that it’s very difficult for the average guy to get a woman into the bedroom, and the anxiety can be overwhelming.

It wasn’t until I got older, 26 or so, that I was able to relax a little more. Hormones are the devil. One trick I’ve used in the past is cock rings, or hair ties in a pinch. That helps keep the blood in and maintain.

Look at it this way: it is so difficult for the average guy to understand how to win over a woman that men have made entire successful careers on teaching other guys how to do it.

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[–]Drewbixtx0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah I do agree on that, the vagina has far more nerve endings than a guys manhood and IS more complex...I think the issue is with a large amount of guys not even attempting to understanding it like you have...as in they're only focused on them getting off. I have come across a few guys who evidently had done their research...and those are the ones you remember most LOL.. you also are more likely to go wild/put effort in for a guy like that. Sex is really about 2 ppls pleasure not just helping a man ejaculate. I think if more men put more effort into foreplay/stimulation...they'd find it would most definitely work in their favour.

Porn for me puts way tooooo much emphasis on rough penetrative sex, which plays into the male aggression thing so appeals to a lot of men. The trouble is, in most cases a variety of pace/ techniques during foreplay (for a good amount of time) is what gets the woman aroused most (not penetrative sex)....THEN you can attempt the rougher stuff bc she is warmed up enough. But most men don't warm the woman up enough, so its essentially just going to make the woman sore, and possibly swollen, much quicker but the guy won't care cos he's going wild. I'm getting detailed here lmfao but I feel this info needs to be put out there, for me that is the most recurrent eyeroll. Women need more stimulation than men to orgasm. Obv each woman is different but I doubt many would disagree with me here

[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ino_y15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction

"but according to a number of studies and surveys, between 14% and 35% of young men experience ED. Until 2002, the incidence of men under 40 with ED was around 2-3%. Since 2008, when free-streaming, high-definition porn became so readily available, it has steadily risen."

I'm 40.

Dialup / internet porn came out in the 90's, just as my cohort hit puberty. Anyone without a steady girlfriend (aka anyone with poor social skills and who is likely to be "never married" or single again today) became a porn addict. My last boyfriend was an addict for 25 years.

I gotta hit that sweet spot of "too old to have started porn when it came out, and dick still works because he's not yet a geriatric".

I do not envy young women today at all :(

It takes 90 days without using, (after the year trying to get them to admit it), willingness to stop, and a good support system/professional help to fix a dude with PIED, so.. don't waste time on them.

[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]TheOGJammiesRuthless Strategist[S] 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]ino_y12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/mar/11/young-men-porn-induced-erectile-dysfunction

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201407/what-porn-can-do-intimacy

It's an epidemic :(

Repeated use gives them dopamine hits the way being with a real human doesn't. It changes their brain, they have less empathy - they don't give a shit about women's pleasure. It's the same kind of passive entertainment as gaming and social media scrolling. If a dude's gaming for 8 hours, he's probably a porn user too.

They learn dick-dentric man-pleasure sex from thousands of hours of headless porn stars moaning and screaming. It's not like they're watching tutorials on finding the clit and reading her facial expressions.

The addiction is half the actual porn (high quality airbrushed bodies), and half "the habit" - so settling into his crusty gamer chair and turning on the laptop, or laying on his back, or sitting on the couch begins the arousal process. A lot of men can only sustain an erection on their backs in "wank position".

Going around to a woman's house, standing in the shower with a real woman who, I dunno, expects him to be present and active.. is none of his triggers, so .. no boner.

If I ever start dating again (lol probably not this year), I'll have 2 immediate deal breakers. Enthusiastically go down on me unprompted, and can gain an erection while standing. One chance.

[–]TheOGJammiesRuthless Strategist[S] 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

PIV is great when you already feel a deep bond with the guy, at least for me. Otherwise it doesn’t do much for me. My mind and emotions control so much of my sexual pleasure but if my partner isn’t feeling the same, I pick up on that and it’s just sex and nothing special. I was spoiled being with a man for many years who genuinely loved to please me. I haven’t really had that since him except for one guy who I taught to give really good oral but he had no investment in me at all other than very random (when HE felt like it) booty calls. When I reciprocated, it was over in 30 seconds which I suppose wasn’t the worst thing but never allowed for any proper physical bonding, but I think that was exactly what he was trying to avoid.

I’m not a big porn person. My ex husband was an addict and it really bothered me for many years but now I’ve gotten over it because I feel like most men watch it and why try to fight it. If I ever watch it (rarely), I just get so grossed out by the thumbnails on the home page. The only thing I can stomach is two women together. I wish men would know how this is affecting us but I don’t even think they care.

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I feel uncomfortable hooking up right away. I used to and then every man called me an easy wh**e and then committed to someone else. This happens to women who are curvy but thin and have the por*star look. I have big boobs naturally, a doll face naturally, and am slender. I am always told I look like a por*star despite not wearing much makeup or revealing clothing. Because of this, whenever I hookup with a guy too quick, he treats me like a wh**e. Sometimes even calls me one.

So again, I like to get to know a guy for about 3 months before hooking up.

I meet men all the time. Everytime I go out, someone is approaching me. Grocery store, gas station, at events. Everywhere. Even when I try to look frumpy lol, they still do it. The more tshirt and jeans with no makeup situations, the more often I'm approached, and its because its less intimidating. So I have absolutely no issue meeting men I'd date. I meet several a week. I guess that's not uncommon when living in a big city just because there's so many people.

I have had sex with tons of guys, and yes they have all played me. "You're my little por*star!" "You are WILD in bed I'm gonna come over and f*ck!!!!!" All sorts of comments after the first time we hookup, even if I have them wait several months. Then I have to cut them off.

I've had tons of guys lie and say they're in a relationship with me just to hookup. Even ones who I dated for months and I thought we were in one. Nope. They had a girlfriend, they were still secretly seeing other girls, all sorts of situations.

I got a reputation at the last place I lived and had to move away. Everyone gossiped that I was secretly a prost*tute and that's how I was so incredibly wealthy. When in reality I inherited from 3 deceased family members who had no kids, and I make 170k as a physician assistant which is like an advanced practice nurse, working 3 12 hour shifts a week so it looks like I'm never working to people. Everyone seems to think there's either "a nurse or a doctor" and "a nurse" is a dinky doctor assistant that makes minimum wage. Even though salary info is on google.

So yeah, I'm kind of stuck. I get screwed over no matter what I do, and yeah now I'm in my 30s and still never had a boyfriend.

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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

At 26 I was right where you were. Now in my 30s, I'm still single awaiting my first boyfriend.

I date men 35-45 and am still played. Slept with TONS of men because they all wait 3+ months to hookup and say they want a relationship, often calling me their gf when I'm clearly not (hooking up with other women secretly).

I have dated well over 100 guys in my lifetime and they were all players.

These guys don't talk sexually before a good 3 months when it gets to that point, or they get blocked. They lie. We do get to know each other slowly.

If you want a seriously relationship, I highly urge you not to date below 40 in today's world. Or late 30s at best. Most men don't purposely have kids until 45-50, at least not in LA.

Single balding alcoholics at 40 who are broke still have dozens of women swarming them in LA. Even the 50 year old ones are still being swarmed by hot 32 year old women with good jobs. This is why its such a problem. Men have too many options.

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I've never had a boyfriend, so no Im not really focused on men. I make 170k as a physician assistant (like a physician but the nursing path to that), had a professional modeling career, have traveling the world, working toward doctorate, making art on the side for fun, tons and tons of hobbies I have always had.

Men in LA don't settle down until 40-50, most often around 45. I am in my 30s so I tend to date 35-45 with the goal being somewhere in early 40s (but you don't always know someones age right away). However, I have been played by multiple 47 year olds.

Men in LA, even average looking, don't have to settle down because they can be broke and still hookup with multiple gorgeous wealthy women at once who will stick around forever hoping for a relationship.

There are gorgeous, fit, education, wealthy women everywhere in LA, and California as a whole. Even nurses make 6 figures. Many model/actress types from massively wealthy families or daughters of actors.

The only reason I'm focused on men now is because I have everything I could ever want, inherited from 3 deceased relatives so I could quit my job right now and never have to work again (but I find fulfillment out of my work), and I want to have kids, which I've always wanted. I'm in my 30s. I don't have forever to wait. The next step would be a sperm bank, but I really wanted to experience what its like to have a boyfriend.

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Here are some links from my bookmarks: https://sciencenordic.com/denmark-gender-hiv/male-circumcision-leads-to-a-bad-sex-life/1371590

www.circumcision.org/harmswomen.htm

I have to go find the rest of my bookmarks on this after I finish running my errands.

Circumcision is child abuse, plain and simple. The people who think it’s okay to chop off foreskin will say, “oh but it’s just a piece of skin”. It’s not “just a piece of skin”. If it’s “just a piece of skin” then so is our fuckin eyelid but we don’t want to go chopping that off too now do we? The foreskin is there for a reason. Nature didn’t make a mistake with the way our bodies were designed to function.

A man can easily pull back his foreskin and clean his dick and it’s no more difficult than brushing his teeth, so folks who say circumcision is for hygienic reasons are delusional.

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[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

But a man (in todays world) waiting 3months to have sex with you doesn't mean much...he could quite possibly be having discreet sex with other girls on his roster (on apps)...but is enjoying the chase with you

if a guy is immature he is going to keep his best game face on until he gets the sex, pretend he is after more up until he gets the 'prize', its the oldest trick in the book

however I think the context of him waiting REALLY matters imo. For example, if its a guy from a club, him trying it for months.. I would be wary....but if its a guy at your university, or works in close proximity to you (sees you often)...aka he's around you enough for you to find out shit...he is more likely to be waiting cos he wants more.

but you can never be 100% sure of a guys intentions, until you've had sex, and seen him for a while imo. How they act AFTER the sex is to me more important than how they act before they get it

Before, they could be saying anything

After, you will know whether u have sexual chemistry, whether he was just in it for the kill, whether he sees you as longterm material. Few men will make longterm decisions on a woman they haven't slept with

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Hmm I don't know then. Since you said that method is not working because they just wait and then still only want to hook up... aside from sex what else do you do when you go on dates with them that puts them off having a relationship with you? Clearly it's not the sex, so there must be something else they see as a deal breaker for a relationship.

A few ideas I have are: 1. Maybe you give guys the impression that you'll be too emotionally needy without being there for them in the same capacity. Could happen if you're asking for their emotional support too soon or too often, or even not asking but just talking about your own stresses/problems without asking how they are a lot or trying to truly listen to them / find out about them enough. 2. They feel like they have to invest more in you than you are in them, For example if they always have to pay for dates, or always have to pick you up and drive you somewhere, or always plan what you do together. Some guys might like this but I think most want it more balanced. 3. Could they feel worried about being able to "keep you" in a relationship? I'm not saying you actually would sleep with with other guys or leave them for another guy if someone better comes, but maybe they're getting that impression somehow.

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Title	This Generation of Men
Author	TheOGJammies
Upvotes	846
Comments	149
Date	September 26, 2019 2:31 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/d9kfo3/this_generation_of_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-generation-of-men.690466 https://theredarchive.com/post/690466

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