So I, a 19 year old black woman, matched with this 20 year old Puerto Rican dude on Tinder about a month ago (races relevant). Everything was going well first, and he kept giving me compliments about a variety of things.

Then came the dreaded question that many women of color face. “What ARE you?” I proceeded to explain that I was black. It’s pretty damn obvious to me that I’m black, but I get this question all the time from men and am not sure why.

Anyway, he proceeds to say, “Oh, okay, I was just wondering, because your skin is light and you don’t have that bad, nappy hair.” Additionally, he pointed out one of the pictures on my profile and said, “You’re so brave to post pictures online with your hair looking like that.” He ALSO went on a mini rant about how he didn’t understand why the new live action The Little Mermaid movie casted a black woman in the title role, as it was a “fundamental change to the story.” He was SWIFTLY blocked.

I don’t know why men get off on saying these types of off-the-wall comments toward women, nor why men STILL think that “negging” is a form of flirtation that will get them the girl. Men disgust me. Keep your colorist, racist comments away from me. Talking down about my race as if I’m somehow one of the “good” ones will NEVER make me want you.