Ladies, thanks for the great comments on my previous post about seeing my ex on OLD. I have an update.

As counterproductive and creepy as it sounds, I looked again today after sitting with the ick feels of yesterday. This time, I was able to accomplish my original goal: to see something tangible regarding my ex through a complete FDS lens and kill any remaining hope. Here is what I realized:

1 . Ultimately, the profile isn’t glaringly horrible. It drips low effort such as: I like alcohol, sports, I am at my kid’s beck and call, I am a homebody, want someone to stay home and cuddle and drink with. That is it in a nutshell. Nothing at all about his hobbies, interests, things he would like to do, what he’s looking for outside of I want you to make me happy. There’s literally not a single word about what he is bringing to the table or what qualities make him a worthy partner. If that doesn’t scream, please come fill a void, I don’t know what does. Also, there were no full body shots and the pics weren’t flattering. Definitely hiding his major weight gain. Something about it felt kind of sad and desperate.

  1. This is the kicker. I mentioned in my previous post that he basically described our relationship. And ya know what? He did. Our relationship was LV as fuck. We were lazy. We didn’t motivate each other. He never held me accountable for being my best self or really encouraged me about anything. There was no follow through. He held me back, sucked me dry, and took advantage of me.

This isn’t me. This isn’t what I want. I deserve better than being an emotional airbag. I have boundaries and standards. I deserve someone who actually cares about what I do, my health, my happiness. I don’t want a lazy relationship. I don’t want low effort. I don’t want to fill the void that someone has within themselves.

I NEVER WANT THAT SCROTE BACK!!! BARF!!!!!

Omg I feel better than I have in ages. Having a safe space here in FDS to write out various steps in my journey and knowing there’s fellow queens out there doing the hard work of leveling up, sharing thoughts and journeys ( even the ones that are kind of embarrassing like this one), and giving each other support and tough love have been key.