Very important for those that don't feel "good enough"

ambermagpie · 2020-01-30T22:36:07+00:00

This is the cycle I’m really hoping to break in my 30s. Second half of 30 is looking good so far, fortunately. I’ve become a lot more self-aware about my attachment and bonding habits.

Yianna_F · 2020-01-31T02:35:03+00:00

Great simplified version of Trauma Bonding OP! Thanks for sharing!

A. For more info on the subject, these are some good basic articles to use as a starting point in undwrstanding trauma bonding and how to work on your recovery:

B. Some good books on the effects of trauma, attachment and repair are:

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk. (Most people describe it as an eye opener and transformative and it's highly recommended by therapists)
Trauma Treatment Toolbox: 165 Brain-Changing Tips, Tools & Handouts to Move Therapy Forward by Jennifer Sweeton. (It's full of therapeutic tools, techniques and activities)
The Complex PTSD Workbook: A Mind-Body Approach to Regaining Emotional Control and Becoming Whole by Arielle Schwartz. (As above with emphasis on PTSD)

Edit: some changes in structure

StillAwakeofCourse · 2020-01-30T22:27:08+00:00

My life in so many ways.

ETA: not anymore!

grimreapersdtr · 2020-01-30T23:21:53+00:00

This is a great diagram in that it explains what happens to a lot of us who become entangled in abusive relationships

turquoiseblues · 2020-01-31T00:49:45+00:00

The story I internalized is that validation doesn’t count unless it’s hard.

placemat24 · 2020-01-31T03:54:55+00:00

Theres 0 reason to attack me like this. Hoo child. 🥵

Parking-Act · 2020-01-31T01:33:31+00:00

This is what Im unlearning!

woiashenseea · 2020-01-31T01:51:09+00:00

Short sweet to the point and accurate. Thank you

jetpatch · 2020-01-31T10:43:43+00:00

The trouble is I know many women who had wonderful childhoods and caring parents as well as boring average lives yet still fell for the love hurts nonsense. I had one woman tell me she ended up dating arseholes in her twenties because she was convinced nice, caring love was childish and naive while fighting all the time and being miserable was grown up, adult, passionate love. People absorb whatever the most prominent narrative in society is as they grow up unless parents or other adults purposely take time to point out it is nonsense.

backforbeskar · 2020-01-31T06:59:21+00:00

This describes my life..

Bitemebitch00 · 2020-01-31T08:33:26+00:00

I feel attacked.

persephones_torch · 2020-01-31T04:23:47+00:00

I love this sub so much when I read the comments it's like women who needed to find support found it through FDS sisters.

yeontanw · 2020-01-31T09:16:57+00:00

For my it was not abuse. It was unconditional love from both parents. Paired with a bit of traume of being fat from a young age and no guy liking me. So this is what I offer to partners, unconditional love if I feel like we fit paired with not wanting to let them go and fear of being alone.

IsthatACrackhead · 2020-01-31T11:55:25+00:00

And I oop!

Title	Very important for those that don't feel "good enough"
Author	Whateverrr_345
Upvotes	304
Comments	26
Date	January 30, 2020 10:25 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ewdjw4/very_important_for_those_that_dont_feel_good/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/very-important-for-those-that-dont-feel-good.1068892 https://theredarchive.com/post/1068892

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