What do I do?

ModernDayOracle · 2020-06-19T06:46:48+00:00

Regardless of what you decide, take screenshots of his profile and your chat NOW. Lots of them. With his photos showing.

LadyGrimes · 2020-06-19T08:20:11+00:00

Sometimes you don't have to confront them. When I found out my ex cheated on me I didn't say a word just stopped all contact because I was done with him.

I understand where you're coming from with wanting to put him in his place, its tempting and you know it will make you feel good and him like shit. Or what if he doesn't care at all? The fact he is still on that dating app speaks volumes and shows he does not care about you or any woman he talks to on there. In fact this loser probably gets off on cheating and getting caught.

So I'm just going to say to do what you feel you have to. Not to own him but for you and your sanity. If confronting him will make you feel better moving forward then by all means go for it. Just know that it might not affect him at all.

theperfectsunflower · 2020-06-19T06:48:43+00:00

Screenshot the profile and send it to him then block and delete. All he will do is make excuses and gaslight. Why do you wanna hear that?

bqluoeoedn · 2020-06-19T07:04:39+00:00

Oooh you unmatched... creatively... before here’s what I had written:

Please wait for more experienced women who have been through this... and don’t take this too literally... if you want... but 😬... you could get a random address for the dog pound or garbage jump and have him meet up with “her” there — send him a burner number with the area code there — by which you could use to answer the phone and tell him it’s over. Then block his ass on everything and tell your friends and family (if you want to block him—-if anyone is linked) so you ghost him good.

This is a great one where a girlfriend of 5 years caught the guy and another woman sleeping in his bed... she had brought over breakfast and a video game... she left the items with the key to the house, deactivated her FB & had loved ones block him... she moved cities and got a new job. She ghosted him SO HARD. When she left, she LEFT.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5302831/amp/Scorned-girlfriend-gets-ultimate-revenge-cheating-ex.html

**Although, I really like another member’s idea about sending the screenshot of the profile and then blocking him. Don’t waste any more time than you have to.*** this right here

passionatevirtuoso · 2020-06-19T09:17:04+00:00

However you confront or communicate, please record it.

In the next several months, when you start to miss him, it will remind you of his true character and strengthen your resolve.

The other option is ghosting

Ghosting him is the most painful for him, guaranteed. But it has to be not just you, but also any mutual friends that you are close to as well for max impact.

If you are close to his family, call one or two up, send them the screenshots, and explain. Cry etc. Show them how much they mean to you and how he hurt you. Say goodbye to them.

There is NOTHING more validating than your ex's family confirming to you that he is, indeed, a POS. :)

They will do ALL the shaming that is necessary...

And if another girl becomes serious with him in the future, they might warn her too, and that has loong term impact.

janemove · 2020-06-19T06:46:16+00:00

I would ask him first with your fake profile, what his experience with the dating app is. How long is he using it already, how many dates ... I would lead him on by giving a lot of fake answers yourself, maybe throw in whether he's had a FWB before by this dating app etc.

Knowledge is power, screenshots are better, because you know for sure this guy will gaslight you and then afterwards, after the break up, manipulate you to being the bad guy to others. Get receipts as much as possible. If he contacts you -the real girlfriend- in the meantime, just stay polite and nice, and whine about how busy you are and that's why you're keeping the phone calls short.

Good luck!

ChocoBananza · 2020-06-19T09:11:39+00:00

I see that no amount of block and delete comment will persuade you. So I suggest a bit if a different approach.

Since you guys are engaged, I suppose you have a lot of mutual friends?

First, send him screenshots, maybe curse a bit, and block him.

Second, is notifying your friends and family before he does, so he can’t turn the narrative around. Tell your mutual friends what he did, how disappointed you are, and all the things you wanted to tell him directly. Trust me, the convo will get to him. Bonus points if you can contact his family. You’ll get your closure and your ego won’t suffer, and yet he won’t be able to contact you to ‘explain himself’.

I know what the point of your question is, you want to watch him squirm, suffer and beg for your forgiveness. Only thing I can tell you is - you don’t need that. He’ll see what he had lost, and the best revenge you can do is to live your life happily without him.

PsychologicalBeat2 · 2020-06-19T07:00:43+00:00

Send him screenshots of his profile if you wanna be petty and DUMP HIM. there's literally nothing else for you to do if you want to live a happy life.

prettylittledragon · 2020-06-19T19:17:18+00:00

Long time ago I felt that something was off with my boyfriend at the time. I found him on the dating site where we have met and start talking to him with a fake profile. He was talking about how his last girlfriend cheated on him blabla sob story. So I made a fake emailaddress and added him to MSN messenger. That still existed at the time. We continued chatting there and then I invited him for a video call. So I saw him onscreen all smiles cause he thought he was going to talk to this new chick but the smile went away fast when he saw he was busted. Then he started saying that he knew it was me all along but he was just caught redhanded and I dumped his ass. It wasn't fun then but I think it was a nice move now. Maybe you can do something like this also..you can make a fake email address and go on Skype or make a Kik account. It will be great fun.

redfarmmmmm · 2020-06-19T14:10:55+00:00

Im sorry to hear that. I usedto confront, blame and use all my energy on belittling him. I’d just block him. Karma comes back, and he’ll be the one who’s suffering soon.

MuffinSongs · 2020-06-20T04:22:05+00:00

Ok so I say... ask him if he knows “profile girl’s name”

Tell him you are old buds and she sent you screenshots because she cares.

Show him the screenshots

And just watch what happens. We already know how this ends. He does need to be held accountable. He asked you to marry him! What a loser!

whereisvicsage2 · 2020-06-20T04:48:45+00:00

First of all, I’m really sorry you had to go through this. It’s absolutely terrible.

You should definitely let him know somehow why you’re leaving, and make it clear you’re done. Do not accept pleading, or guilting, or excuses.

I’ve found in my past, especially with cheaters, trying to air my grievances and obtain closure is nearly impossible through a single conversation. I found myself pining over what I could’ve done, and found myself actually reasoning with these guys, listening to their excuses and genuinely buying their shit. Do not get yourself sucked back in, you are only hurting yourself.

I know you’re pissed off and you want him to know it, but you’re better off sending the screenshots and saying it’s over. You can write a letter or an email, but I wouldn’t send it. He’ll find some way to twist your words and manipulate you back in to his web. Write pages upon pages about how angry you are, how betrayed you feel, hell, even write about the hundreds of ways you’d like to get revenge, but don’t send it. You’re only wasting your time that you could be using to heal.

Focus on yourself, treat yourself well, and find solace in caring friends and family. Pig out on junk food, watch bad comedies, scream alone in your car, whatever helps, but focusing and ruminating on the situation for even a minute more than necessary is only detrimental to yourself.

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope that what I’ve said could help. I’ve been through this twice, and it hurts like hell. Guys I genuinely thought I had a future with, thrown away in seconds over cheating. You will heal, and you will grow from this.

2020-06-19T20:51:37+00:00

Hey OP. I can't imagine the pain you're going through. Im sorry he chose to hurt you like that, and I totally hear your need for revenge.

Honestly, I have to agree with folks here who say block + delete. I say this because at one point, I was dating (an LVM) someone and they revealed to me how horribly they had cheated on a partner. I soon stopped seeing them, and it's been a year since. He is still trolling around on Tinder, probably as miserable as ever. He threw away a marriage, and he is paying for it now, just like your ex will in the future. I hope you're surrounding yourself with great people who are offering you the support you need (including any legal revenge plans you may have :P) . Maybe later down the line, you'll be at a point where you can skip that part and just block + delete, but we all have our own process. I wish you the best with yours, and know we are here to help you through it.

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Title	What do I do?
Author	mangolime0
Upvotes	84
Comments	43
Date	June 19, 2020 6:23 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hbvjyl/what_do_i_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-do-i-do.696484 https://theredarchive.com/post/696484

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