When I mean "lightly depraved" actions and/or "dating test" fuckeries, I mean items, actions, statements, or behaviors that are perceived to general public as annoying, unpleasant, inconvenient, inconsiderate, tedious, etc. AND does not constitute any standard warning signs frequently posted on FDS and/or the handbook. I do not mean "red flags" or even "orange flags" but things that could potentially be perceived in such a neutral manner by the untrained eye initially, but ended up being some type of mistreated, depravity, or fuckery from a LVM/NVM.

I'll think of some examples that I am thinking of....

  • When I first started dating my NVM ex, he would play into the character of comical, goofy, introverted, socially awkward, anxious mantrope all the time in our social circle and would sometimes feel the need to "take a dip" and completely leave a social outing with friends and/or groups to venture off on his own and would announce that "I am going to dip in a few" then come back. He would routinely annouce this to everyone that was hanging out with him akwardly, leave, then come back and act like nothing happened. I was young and it was in group outings with mutual friends for the first year, so I found it rude when he would do this but I was not firm in how it made me feel and when he would announce it, I would just say "ok" then continue having fun with the group. It was an avoidance tatic on his end but he played it off as "managing anxiety" when he "would go dip" so I trusted that he was communicating to me in full faith that he truly meant this action was for self-care/anxiety, but I found out over time it was straight up avoidance and anytime he would "take a dip" it was because he was not the center of attention or he felt he did not have any significant contributions so he was throwing a silent tantrum for control.

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  • When we lived together at 1.5 years, he would continue to "forget" that I would squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom up. When I realized he would do this as a passive aggressive means to hold power/dominance and control by refusing to adhere to my boundaries if he was a cheapass and didn't bring his own by ruining my nice even toothpaste tube or he would use the excuse that he was "in a hurry to get ready for work". Instead of kicking out the clown because I was an ignorant pickme at the time, I bought him his own damn toothpaste so he wouldn't ruin mine. 1 tube of toothpaste would last me 3 months that way and his toothpaste somehow missed his damn mouth but always seemed to prevent cavities for my sink.

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  • My ex-NVM asking for "permission" or a "heads up" to hang out with an "old highschool friend" who is a woman and/or allowing him to hang out in larger social circles with desperate pickme artsy libfeminism women. From here on out, I will NEVER allow a man I am dating to have ongoing hangout sessions with a woman 1:1 throughout the course of our relationship without meeting them or permitting so much naive trust within my shitty worthless ex. When I was a lil' naive clown, I thought he could have self-control and actually be a respectful human being that didn't see woman as a conquest dream-girl sexobject mommy therapist while he was engaged to be married, but spoiler: he was buying time with me until she was 'healed' enough from her ex to date him! Men are never your friends ladies so stop being desperate for their validation!