Do our men deserve better?

TheTinMenBlog · 2022-05-19T13:41:07+00:00

Please note – I haven't shared this on Instagram yet, so I was hoping you could share any suggestions or corrections!

~

I won’t lie to you.

The notion that men are part of an omniscient oppressor class, is a tantalising and exciting idea, much like most fantasy stories and fairy tails.

I also won’t act surprised when people buy into it.I’m sure it feels quite validating, to shake your fist at the sky and cry out against the patriarchy – rather than accept ones own reality and individual responsibility.

And I understand those, who despite dwindling in number, still ardently hold onto these notions.

I get it.

But what is disappointing and hard to understand for me, are how these ideas have been so readily adopted into some areas of the psychological industry – a science, to which ideology has no home.

And so the battle for men's mental health has begun, with the American Psychological Association at its centre.

So what do you think? Should we expect more from our psychologists?

~

SourceCentre for Male Psychology Study

PandaFoo1 · 2022-05-19T13:49:14+00:00

All antagonising & vilifying already vulnerable people is going to do is alienate them & build resentment. People need to realise men aren’t some monolith of oppressors & are individual people with their own struggles and problems that need to met with compassion rather than judgement.

Algoresball · 2022-05-19T14:58:21+00:00

There are so many scholarships for women in stem because they’re underrepresented. But there is absolutely nothing for men trying to become mental healthcare professionals. What we need is more male LCSWs, LMFTs LMHCs and PsyDs. Someone needs to take a hard look at how much misandry there is in the curriculum and take corrective action.

And misandrist professors need to be fired.

House_of_Raven · 2022-05-19T16:03:26+00:00

[permanently deleted]

not-on-my-watchy · 2022-05-19T18:23:00+00:00

The field is approximately 75% female dominated so it makes sense that an anti patriarchal activist lens frequently influences theory as well as therapy. I’ve talked with so many men who have been shamed by their female therapists for men’s issues from impotence, intimacy, self assertion, and socializing. It’s a real problem.

Olilord5020 · 2022-05-19T16:04:20+00:00

I fully support all actions for men's well-being, including their mental health. Men should be treated with empathy and respect, when they are in need, not shamed and mocked. As we see, even some mental therapists should learn something about this topic.

T_Nightingale · 2022-05-19T23:49:08+00:00

I'm really happy you source your statistics. As a psychotherapist, it is all too evident that feminist conspiracy theories make their way into the curriculum slowly and insidiously. Some educators don't even care if it's not in the curriculum, they will try to teach it. I had one try to teach us about microaggressions, when I (a male) and another female class member questioned her logic she turned to the group of Indian females in the class and none of them would back her up by saying they had experienced microaggressions. If I and the other female wasn't there I worry to think about how everyone especially those Indian girls may have been indoctrinated.

Also please let me know when you post it on Instagram as I'll be sharing it on my story and posting it to my University's Facebook group.

LokisDawn · 2022-05-19T17:51:31+00:00

Very good post. I don't like all your posts equally, even if I respect the work you do. But this is a particularly good one.

I don't have the link, but it reminded me of a study, I think from the UK, that showed a large percentage (around 60 IIRC) of men who had commited suicide had sought professional help in the year before.

Having your therapist believe in patriarchy I cannot imagine would help.

rammo123 · 2022-05-19T20:42:21+00:00

The idea that masculinity is purely a social construct is utterly preposterous. It's hardcoded into our DNA.

When we visited the uncontacted tribes of the North Sentinel Islands, the warriors on the beach defending their people weren't gender diverse. They were all men. Where did they "learn" that? I don't think they get ESPN reception. They're not watching war films on Netflix. I'm sure that their subscriptions to men's magazines wouldn't reach that far.

DistrictAccurate · 2022-05-19T20:36:43+00:00

It is generally important to once again acknowledge the essential distinction between a) norms as a set of behaviors, types of expression and so on beyond their function as norms, b) the enforcement of norms generally or c) the undervaluation of men that may influence the contents.

Criticism of the criticism of (parts of) the contents of male gender norms does not at all imply support for the enforcement of restrictions of men's freedom and wellbeimg, let alone the associated undervaluation of men, their lives, health and freedom.

"Real men do X" is misandry regardless of what X is. X could be perfectly desirable, but whatever it is, the reason for doing it shouldn't be threats of misgendering or the invalidation of one's identity. Nor should it be ridicule, bullying or other forms of sanctions on non-conformity. And in most cases, where X is merely an option among many and not something objectively desirable, this becomes even clearer. For example: Men should feel free to wear make-up and use it as a way to express themselves. However, "Real men wear make-up" doesn't make men "free" nor does it enable personal expression.

That said, the undervaluation (by themselves and others) of men's lives, health and freedom that partially manifests in (and is probably necessary for) their role as disposable protectors, which needs them to be sufficiently risk-tolerant, capable of fighting, physically and mentally resilient and so on, does indeed relate to the contents. Though I would argue that the underlying undervaluation of men is the actual issue here, especially given that men's role as the provider and protector in conjunction with the restriction of their sexual freedom to a narrow selection of heterosexual dyads expects them to primarily protect women and children (their family) from primarily other men, thus introducing a gender-biased connotation into the norms themselves.

I guess I could go on but I've mostly made my point. Unfortunately, it is one that is still commonly misrepresented and/or misunderstood - with some mistakenly assuming that the only alternative to the minimizing, inconsistent and possibly inaccurate characterization of what the problem associated with gender roles is (and how that can and/or should be communicated in return) would be to deny such problems alltogether. In this case, the problem would have been the "definition of masculinity" - with the alternative not being to deny any issues rather than to emphasize that the enforcement of restrictions and/or requirements is a problem regardless of the definition that is being enforced and that the problematic aspects of the definition depend on the undervaluation of men whilst the language used around it is inconsistent with that used for other issues and implies a lesser severity of injustice toward men than I'd consider appropriate. Sadly, spaces that provide alternatives are either mischaracterized or not allowed to be referenced/mentioned at all by their opponents. Discussions regarding such alternatives are commonly restricted or removed. Perhaps it wouldn't be as easy to spread misinformation if one was more aware of where such criticism is coming from and subsequently engaged in civil discussions around it. Then again, at least some (if not almost all) of these people seem convinced that their info (about their opponents) was never inaccurate in the first place, so who knows.

f4z3ultr1x · 2022-05-20T09:20:47+00:00

I think 60 samples is too small

TEL-CFC_boi · 2022-05-21T12:19:26+00:00

I've reached a point where I just don't know how to be a man. It seems incompatible to be male and to be good, and I just don't understand how to live in a situation like that

When men are murdered in the street, abused by a wide range of people, and even in a publicised trial, a woman admits to abusing her husband and she's getting away with it

When governments and media support this, and feminists just cry "patriarchy" every few minutes...how does a man live and be good? I just don't know

rydogthekidrs · 2022-05-26T09:20:52+00:00

Y’know I think it isn’t just the therapists but also society at large. I know this is anecdotal, but I’ve been dealing with PTSD for nearly 2 years now due to a couple brain surgeries for my epilepsy, one of which went wrong and caused a stroke & another involving removing 6% of my brain.

Do a majority of people (including my parents) take it as seriously as PRSD should be taken? No. People will tell me that I’ll “get over it” or that I “need to be less dramatic”. Sure, I go see a clinical psychologist for it but even then, my male therapist doesn’t seem to take it as seriously as I assume he does for females. Idk I’m tired and just wish psychology put more emphasis on men’s mental health

Title	Do our men deserve better?
Author	TheTinMenBlog
Upvotes	216
Comments	67
Date	May 19, 2022 1:38 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/ut3mzg/do_our_men_deserve_better/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/do-our-men-deserve-better.1209843 https://theredarchive.com/post/1209843

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