How do we proceed after the Tea Leak?

_WutzInAName_ · 2025-07-29T11:11:44+00:00

The solution is to fight against apps that violate our civil rights. These groups and apps pretend to care about safety, while making all of us less safe through defamation and doxxing.

Help to shut apps like these down. If we fail, we will be at risk forever.

You can take action against AWDTSG, the Tea App and other apps that violate civil rights by using the resources below and complaining to elected officials in Congress, at the White House, FTC, DOJ, and more.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AWDTSGisToxic/s/QYtW85uXSJ

https://www.reddit.com/r/AWDTSGisToxic/s/HhWoDOCU4J

https://www.reddit.com/r/AWDTSGisToxic/s/9pzEMQQuqR

https://medium.com/@healthy_tech/a-gender-based-data-broker-violating-ca-delete-act-or-vt-tx-registry-and-state-privacy-rights-a6f208e43f58

gratis_eekhoorn · 2025-07-29T05:48:09+00:00

It seems like it's just better to pursue happiness elsewhere than romantic relationships.

Due-Heron-5577 · 2025-07-29T13:58:16+00:00

I’m just going to leave a note of caution specific to dating, because there’s a theme developing in the OP and the comments that will harm you more than anyone else. I’m speaking as someone who’s 35, in a stable long term relationship, been in LTRs previously and been around the dating circuit plenty.

Be careful about how your identity politics comes into dating. Try not to bring assumptions about the beliefs and attitudes of women in general, or about the woman in front of you, or unchecked expectations either. I’ve done the latter before, and women who haven’t a misandrist bone in their body ended up uncomfortable. I’ve certainly been on the receiving end of feminist women pushing weird assumptions and unchecked expectations too. It’s weird, learn from their mistake, don’t do it.

Now, there seems to be a sense that hostile attitudes towards men and boys are rising, particularly among young women. You’re probably right, I believe that to be the case, we see the evidence posted to this sub every day. But this cannot be allowed to develop into generalised beliefs about women. If the woman in front of you holds such beliefs, she will show it.

Continue to date, and allow the women in front of you the space and safety to show themselves. Expect nothing less in return. There will be space between you, either one of you pushing assumptions and suspicion into that space is antithetical to actually knowing someone.

When the issues that matter to you come up, talk about them earnestly. Watch carefully for the reaction and use that as your gauge for whether the person in front of you has the level of emotional maturity and the values that you need from a partner.

Don’t allow the likes of the tea app’s user base to dominate the picture of how you view women. These women are a self-selecting group who, through their own actions/beliefs/attitudes, have made themselves essentially undateable. They’re especially loud, very much so online. Let’s not allow these insufferable losers to dictate our narrative around women any more than we’d want online misogynists to dictate the narrative around men.

If you encounter such women in the wild (that’s an if - I’ve encountered maybe 2-3 out of dozens of women), just leave them where they are.

Factual_Statistician · 2025-07-29T17:05:03+00:00

For the record I'm afraid of a woman abusing me too.

Wouldn't be the first time.

Langland88 · 2025-07-29T12:06:41+00:00

I don't think we are doomed. What I believe is going to happen is that something is going to happen where the dating scene will somewhat fix itself to some degree. I don't know what it is but I imagine something with happen.

Motanul_Negru · 2025-07-29T13:26:10+00:00

It's just one more thing to make me not want to throw my hat into the wood-chipper. I need that to keep the sun off my balding noggin.

nurderburger · 2025-07-29T13:39:54+00:00

A romantic relationship shouldn’t be your primary goal anyways. Focus on yourself, find what brings you joy, do your best to spread that joy to everyone you meet. If you’re meant to find someone to share your life with, you’ll find them on your path of discovery.

Dating apps don’t want you to be in a relationship anyway. As soon as you’re monogamous, you are no longer a customer.

Apart from Reddit, I don’t use social media. It’s not built to help you, it’s built to be addictive and to keep you online.

Intelligent-You983 · 2025-07-29T16:43:02+00:00

Men should also be afraid of being abused, arguably more than ever. Your laxy use of stereotypes just proves that point.

Stellakinetic · 2025-07-31T07:30:40+00:00

The world will eventually heal. Or it won’t. I’m just telling myself it will because I’d like to start a family before I’m 40. Either way I’m sure there’s got to be some normal women out there. The hard part is finding them before someone else does.

Potential_Alps_1994 · 2025-07-31T13:42:51+00:00

I would say if you don’t treat women horribly then there isn’t really anything to worry about. However, the amount of gossip is startling since the purpose of the app was to callout abusers.

SpicyMarshmellow · 2025-07-29T07:52:42+00:00

Single the past 5 years, and resolved not to enter a relationship in the western world until women's social power is mediated.

AussieOzzy · 2025-07-29T10:56:30+00:00

This is just a nothing burger imo. I can't think of a single interaction that I've had with women that has been affected by any of what you said. Just live your life.

ApplePonyEater · 2025-07-29T16:27:54+00:00

It's easy to let the shit we see on the internet sour our everyday lives, it trends because humans crave gossip and drama, and that trending presence makes it look like all of the negativity is the norm. The mental path you are going down here is the same path that leads to some women believing all men are potential Elliot Rodgers, you've got to be better than that.

Disconnect from the drama and go out and meet real people. Real women. And when you do, here is what I advise you do:

Check your assumptions at the door, you don't know any of these women. Let her own words and actions speak for her, not the words and actions of some psychotic misandrist you read about on the internet

Focus on looking for green flags, not red ones. Go into the date actually wanting to find a friend and partner, don't go in ready to pick her apart and find a reason to not call her back.

Set the standard of the kind of relationship that you want right at the beginning. If you want to split bills, then bring that up when planning the first date.

BE YOURSELF. Don't hide or curb behaviors that you think are undesirable just to bring them out once you two are dating. That never ends well. Be unashamed of who you are and what you find funny/entertaining. In today's day and age, humor has become especially divisive, and even something as simple as who your favorite stand up comic is will go a long way in filtering people who would match well with you

The most important thing:

Have fun. People bond over fun, not by being put under a microscope and interrogated on their politics or whatever the hell else people hate about each other nowadays. Remember that you're looking for a PARTNER. Someone who is going to be your best friend.

Sensitive-Bet-6504 · 2025-07-29T10:38:55+00:00

Best thing you can do is focus on yourself and build out a social network in real life that isn't around dating. I think the average woman has been radicalised to not have empathy for men and interpret men's actions in the worst possible light. What's worse is that society will encourage them every step of the way. However, if you build a friendship circle that has women in it and over time prove that you're a good person, they will vouch for you in a "he's one of the good ones" kind of way with their friends. Also, character assassination will not go as far as you've built up credibility with others in the circle. It's like all relationships to be honest. I've done a few business deals in my time and a lot of it is fleshing out a network, showing that your not going to screw people over, and it took a rough timeline of a few years and then business deals started flowing in via word of mouth. Some people had contracts and they cared more about delivering on time as opposed to price etc.

I've been married for a fair few years now. I openly stated that I didn't like feminism because it wasn't about equality but more about supremacy. This like the business deals resulted in a fair few rejections from groups but over time you find your tribe and your social circle grows. Once you have credibility people will start saying things like "he thinks this but he's a pretty solid guy". Then they actually listen to what you're saying before jumping to conclusions. My wife was feminist when I first met her but listened to why I thought things. She now openly admits that she just didn't think about it from a man's perspective and no longer wants to be associated with the feminist ideology while also believing that genders should be equal.

While we talk about how women should think about how we see things we should also think about how women see the world. If you take dating out of the equation, do you think you'd have a good time trying to do business with a load of random people who you'd never met before? If you take that approach you're going to be treated with suspicion a lot and it's going to be rough with a lot of rejection. Maybe dating random women is the only option you have. That's completely fine peoples' lives is a range of choices that are sometimes out of their control. I can't judge there. But you will have a much better relationship with the opposite sex if you build a trusted genuine social network in real life. Oh, and I can't state the genuine part enough. All the guys I know who just said anything to appease their GF has miserable lives.

LeotheLiberator · 2025-07-30T01:11:09+00:00

Just go out and date? Focusing so much on apps and gender war nonsense isn't healthy.

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