Part of the problems y'all are dealing with is that the phrase feminism already inherently excludes you. Feminism is but one aspect of a broader Gender Studies.

I'd suggest as a brief practicum that folks start using the term Gender Studies to refer to discussions bout anything related to gender and sexuality, and feminism as a sub discipline within that.

Bit O' History, Women's Studies To Gender Studies At University Of Washington 2005-2007; At the time it was one of the biggest and most prestigious such programs. While I was there, the following discourse was going on. The program used to be called variously women's studies and feminism, but each of these were failing to capture the nature of the program, as it focused too much on women rather than the proper focus on gender, sexuality, race, class, etc...

They were dealing with a reality then too that the first heterosexual white male was chairing the program, first to do so of any such program.

There was a lot of push back and anger from the disproportionately female student body in the program, who basically wanted to keep the focus exclusively on women's issues. They stridently opposed the straight white male chair of the program. It was a big deal in the academic world then at any rate. With no small amount of irony to it, it was at the time kinda looked upon like when we got first women leaders in other fields.

Folks settled on Gender Studies, tho sexuality studies was also considered a good contender.

My point, this kind of simple name change not only will be opposed by folks entrenched within the power structures of feminism, but by doing so one also inherently opens up the space for broader discussions, and less antagonistic ones.

Rather than arguing with r/AskFeminists or any feminist for that matter trying to 'get accepted in their spaces', I'd suggest doing what the academics at the time did, broaden the space to include them. Deny them the moniker of totality of concern regarding gendered issues by forcing the reality with a simple name change. When they speak of feminism, be bold and ask for clarifications like 'do you mean gender studies, or women specific issues?'

Likewise, while this is clearly a masculine centered space, understand it as a part of a broader Gender Studies paradigm. When y'all speak of men's issues, as appropriate, utilize the broader terms of Gender Studies to make the point that you already are on a level playing with other aspects of gendered studies.

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