FR: Don't share weakness

Renaissance__Man · 2016-02-18T07:49:36+00:00

You say she "knows a lame animal when she sees one", why not just say outright "I pulled a muscle—I'll be fine in a day or two"?

Hiding a fact that you already admitted you couldn't hide from her, and then snapping at her when she wonders why the hell you would hide something so trivial seems far, far weaker than the actual injury. This isn't the Serengeti. Choosing between a loss of frame and admitting a slight injury that doesn't stop the cash from flowing, I'd just make light of the injury.

40mullet · 2016-02-18T11:03:39+00:00

This is some nice guy stuff here. Trying to look tough when actually in pain....All hard core orbiters I knew acted this way. I don´t think you should whine about it, but smiling and acting all tough is seeking woman validation as much as crying. Just tell what happened, what are consequences. limp as long as you need and fuck her in spoon position.

alorian · 2016-02-18T15:40:39+00:00

FR

My wife asked, "Are you okay, babe?" I told her my shoulder was acting up (old injury) but otherwise was fine. Later that night she gave me a really nice massage (focused on the shoulder), followed by a REALLY nice massage (focused on my dick).

It sounds like you're afraid of your wife. Does she have long, sharp teeth?

fakefalse · 2016-02-18T16:53:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Rasalom72 · 2016-02-18T15:53:50+00:00

So, as a man, you know, one that owns his failures and accepts the consequences of his actions.... how is lying to your wife the "Alpha" thing to do?

You over did it at the gym, or did is wrong (we've all been there), and now you are taking steps to correct that... own it and move on. LEAD. This is what I'm doing. This is what I need from you while I recover.

Don't make excuses, or use it as a sympathy tool, or expect her to care... it's something that YOU have to deal with, and plan around. Deal with your shit.

ShangoThor · 2016-02-18T14:19:09+00:00

See, this shit is where I think we take things too far. You hurt your leg. It happens. If your wife is any good, she will help you. As you would for her.

Not admitting what is obvious is silly. The notion that you suggest that someone other than your wife feed you anti inflammatories is silly.

She is your wife.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-02-18T19:59:07+00:00

Kind of got lost in the details, heres a top level one for OP.

you are right as a concept, but using it improperly.

You're never going to be Superman all the time, generally non-shitty people know that, and you largely cannot control it, but you can control your reactions.

There's no reason to hide injury, but there IS reason to not cry about it or expect pity from it.

Law 13 Law 22

When you hide it, it's assuming her in a superior position, like the landlord you owe money to, and avoid like the plague.

own it. You're hurt, it sucks, and you will get better. If push comes to shove, adrenaline will surge, and you'll throw down, probably set you back a bit in recovery too, but you're not lame. Until then, think of it like a challenge.

Sure, I'm hurt, and? (internally, don't start externalizing this like a tool)

any time you fee like exposing your vulnerability (verbally) think to yourself, is this able to fix anything, or is it for feelings? If it's the latter, STFU.

Rollo-Tomassi · 2016-02-18T16:50:44+00:00

http://therationalmale.com/2014/11/23/vulnerability/

To the boys who grow into Beta men, the ready eagerness with which they’ll roll over and reveal their bellies to women comes from a conditioned belief that doing so will prove their emotional maturity and help them better identify with the women they mistakenly believe have a capacity to appreciate it.

What they don’t understand is that the voluntary exposing of ones most vulnerable elements isn’t the sign of strength that the Feminine Imperative has literally bred a belief of into these men.

A reflexive exposing of vulnerability is an act of submission, surrender and a capitulation to an evident superior. Dogs will roll over almost immediately when they acknowledge the superior status of another dog.

Vulnerability is not something to be brandished or proud of. While I do believe the insight and acknowledgement of your personal vulnerabilities is a necessary part of understanding oneself (particularly when it comes to unplugging oneself), it is not the source of attraction, and certainly not arousal, that most men believe it is for women.

From the comfort of the internet and polite company women will consider the ‘sounds-right’ appeal of male vulnerability with regard to what they’re supposed to be attracted to, but on an instinctual, subconscious level, women make a connection with the weakness that vulnerability represents.

A lot of men believe that trusting displays of vulnerability are mutually exclusive of displays of weakness, but what they ignore is that Hypergamy demands men that can shoulder the burden of performance. When a man openly broadcasts his vulnerableness he is, by definition, beginning from a position of weakness.

The problem with idealizing a position of strength is in thinking you’re already beginning from that strength and your magnanimous display of trusting vulnerability will be appreciated by a receptive woman. I strongly disagree with assertions like those of various Purple Pill ‘life coaches’ that open, upfront vulnerability is ever attractive to a woman.

ramblemn · 2016-02-18T15:42:28+00:00

Christ, NOW I get why wife was such a bitch after I complained about myself taking so damn long getting my legs strong again. ( after a bad quad strain.)

i wasn't even talking to her, i just mumbled to myself and she heard me.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-02-18T19:41:18+00:00

Rules of power. Make it look effortless, and appeal to peoples self interest, never their pity

Why one feels the need to explain weakness to people doesn't understand some basic facts. your value to others is specifically in what you provide. Why go out of your way to sabotage their image of you in that way?

Almost no one you will expose it to is able to provide concrete solutions to it anyways, and you've removed any incentive for them to step up to help. A strong man will have other jumping at the chance to watch his back, a weak man will have others jumping to get out of the way of the impending train wreck.

If you want a hug and to be told things will be OK, call your mom, that's what she's for. Call Dad if you have a good one, otherwise, stop crying to the world. That only works when you have gendered studies degrees and a uterus

It sucks, and the real chore is not bottling it up for 20 years, than hanging from the neck in your garage for your troubles. Thats where the Meeting with other men comes in. Iron sharpens iron.

enfier · 2016-02-18T23:11:46+00:00

You can get injured and admit it, just don't complain about it.

chuckcraft · 2016-02-19T19:49:58+00:00

I'm completely new to this, so take the following with a grain of salt. I had a related injury, but turned it into a total win just this week. Three background facts: (1) I sustained a pretty terrible back injury a couple of years ago, and while I'm better now, I really beta-maxed the shit out of my relationship with my wife when I was at my worst. After doing all of the sidebar reading a couple of months ago, I realized that I needed to try to erase those memories, and leave all physical ailments and shit at the door; (2) I just re-did my basement, and had a pool table/ping-pong table installed; and (3) my wife thinks she is good at ping pong.

Flash forward to Monday, when I tweaked my knee doing squats. I came home, apparently visibly limping. My wife insisted that something was wrong, and I denied, denied, denied. She pressed further, and I told her that if she thought something was wrong, then perhaps she would be interested in a ping-pong game. My wife is in constant alpha contest with me (she's a supercompetitive, Type A), so she pronounced that she was going to destroy me.

We went downstairs. I asked her how confident she was feeling, and she said very. I said, okay, let's get some skin in the game: every five points I score, you lose a piece of clothing. She agreed, provided that I abided by the same rules, and I readily agreed. I had been thinking about rolling something like this out -- a strip-something game that we would have engaged in early in our relationship. It was totally out of character for me to bring up, and she bit the hook hard. I let her get the first five points, and she told me to lose my shirt, which I happily did.

I then ran off 5 straight points. Off came her yoga pants. 5 more straight points. Off came her top. 5 more points. Off came her bra. Thanks to this board, I was totally in control and was watching my wife's beautiful naked tits bouncing around my basement futilely trying to win a silly game against a husband she (correctly) thought was injured. The 21st straight point resulted in her sucking my cock until I came in her mouth.

It was a fucking amazing encounter that I will remember for years. I'm not sure I can go to this exact gimmick very frequently, but a couple of early conclusions I drew: (i) I need to mine my own memory for the kinds of schoolkids-in-love shit we used to do: truth/dare, strip X,Y,Z, etc. She totally ate it up, and it was really fun for both of us; (ii) even when slightly injured, there is shit that I can dominate, and the latter can be used to disguise the former.

I am absolutely in love with my wife, and while I still have reservations about some of the MRP stuff, this was cheat-code other level shit.

theultmatecad · 2016-02-18T13:09:05+00:00

Good FR, bro.

Rollo has covered male vulnerability and the corresponding lack of female empathy that accompanies.

http://therationalmale.com/2016/01/01/empathy-2016/

CopyAndPaste2015 · 2016-02-18T10:15:49+00:00

This post hits home for many reasons; I'm just recovering from my vasectomy last Saturday which it has been longer than expected, (in terms of pain and discomfort). Back to work yesterday which was hell for me, came back home to wife asking me to bath the kids, (I usually do and enjoy this time with them). I refused on the spot and told her I didn't feel fine and needed to put my feet up and rest before dinner which she accepted, (I agree that you should own your shit if it's going to show/affect your performance).

Nevertheless, I had a warning from the wife, (shit test), to stay at home if I feel unwell as she does not want me to be as of yesterday.

Pinelero · 2016-02-18T11:01:07+00:00

You can be hurt or injured or post op, just don't be a whiner about it or use it as an excuse.

With my kids it's like if you are too sick for school then you are to sick to be playing.

MRPguy · 2016-02-18T17:24:25+00:00

IM maxim #54: You think sharing your weakness demonstrates trust and love. You believe you can bond over your pain. You believe wrongly. All she sees is the repulsiveness of your weakness. She does not respect your weakness, your pain, or how difficult it was for you to share your pain with her. Women do not care. They can admire your persistence in the face of such, but not your need to express it.”

BluepillProfessor · 2016-02-19T15:26:47+00:00

I buckled and admitted to the discomfort. She got pissey. "Why do you lie to me? "

No shit! Your wife IMMEDIATELY started shit testing when you show the slightest weakness? Who knew that would happen? A-fucking-WALT.

Women always claim that they can be Florence Nightingale angels of mercy for a sick husband to which I say sure they can. A loyal woman can clean off the dick of a sick husband for years. Yes, women can be loyal and it is so common it is not even a NAWALT.

What they CANNOT do is want to suck that dick while they are washing it.

So...be grateful that your wife Shit Tests you to the moon and back during moments of weakness. This is her keeping in her mind the strong masculine image of the man who fucks her senseless.

cj_aubrey · 2016-02-18T10:37:30+00:00

Male vulnerability -> female disgust

Anyone who expects otherwise knows less than they should.

bio9 · 2016-02-18T15:40:51+00:00

My wife hates it when I get sick or injured. She strikes like a lion on a wounded gazelle. She has even commented that she would rather I stay in a hotel room until I am better. This is despite the fact that when I am sick I am still up and doing. I even shovel snow with a 101+ degree fever. I just believe in working out a illness. I am usually better in a couple days.

Her? racked out on a couch for weeks while served drinks and medicine.

I tend to get better quicker without lounging all day. For me it leads to feeling sorry for yourself.

my dad was stud from hitting the production lines when he was sick. I thought it was crazy.

Now I know why.

Title	FR: Don't share weakness
Author	fakefalse
Upvotes	0
Comments	76
Date	February 18, 2016 5:23 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/46d7q9/fr_dont_share_weakness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/fr-dont-share-weakness.200326 https://theredarchive.com/post/200326

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