I have been actively playing the dating field for three months now. My divorce is moving along at a slow pace, my kids still live with me 7 days a week, and everything keeps moving forward exactly how I want it to in those regards.

My SBX wife has pulled out every nasty page in the book ranging from false DV allegations, to accusing me of withholding money, to withholding the kids, you name it she has done it. And this is a woman I have known since she was 15. When they turn, they turn.

I simply cannot stress the importance of reading /u/Red-Curious posts on divorce and planning this shit out if you really think you are going to split. It will save your ass.

You need to memorize his posts, and the post on "be her friend" as well. These two things will save it all for you. My hardest job right now, is continuing to be "nice" to my wife. Even my lawyer tells me over and over again. Be fucking nice. She is destroying herself and the judge knows it.

But I digress.

The bitch ladder

I have read the sidebar many, many times. But until you are in a specific phase and dealing with those things I don't think it registers, well at least for me. So, the learning never ends really. The topic of Bitch Management and Plate management has been a rough one for me. I am weak in this area, and many of you might be as well.

The post from HumanSockPuppet called Managing your bitches is by far the most applicable post there is, for a guy like me going through what I am going through. He absolutely nails how women act during the dating/honeymoon phase and while his post is great, I want to share my personal experiences with you.

Keep in mind, I am still a believer in the LTR. I am no longer a believer in "marriage." I have my kids, I am working on my divorce and everything I want now, I can get in a simple LTR with a woman I may or may not eventually find. If I do great, if not well I have proven to myself I can bang 10 different women in 30 days with little effort or cost. 38, in shape and there is a plethora of pussy out there. Lift, STFU and sidebar are still applicable, as is rule Zero.

Mandy is someone I met on Bumble a while back. She is a cool chick. She has moved through the ranks of HSP's rating system like precision clockwork. After our first date when she came over she brought a really nice bottle of wine for us to share. She knew from date #1 I was fond of Oregon wines. Between date 1 and date 2 she did her research, and selected a great red wine to pair with the steak I was grilling us on date 2. Keep in mind, there was no sex to this point. Since then Mandy has cooked me dinner, and while not hand done "artistry" like HSP talks about in his post, has sent me many meme type poems she has found on Pinterest to describe her interest in me.

Contrast this to my wife, and perhaps your wife. Never went out of her way to select a wine to pair with steak. Never sent me a poem from Pinterest. In fact, I have received more nudes from Mandy in the month I have known her than my wife our entire marriage. Have I changed that much in 30 days? Or was it something else?

How you fuck matters

It has taken me almost three months to "deprogram" my brain to how I used to fuck my wife, to how I fuck these other women I now fuck. The same rules, boundaries and guidelines I had built in my brain - I naturally associated them to these new women. Not sure why, maybe someone who understand phycology better than I can discuss it, but I cannot stress how important it is to start with a clean slate mentally on these things. This translates to your wife/LTR. And I am telling you right now, I see it and I now recognize my own behavior.

Never used to put your thumb up your wives ass while she was bent over? Mandy loves that. Never used to choke your wife during sex? Chances are your new girl loves it. Why didn't you wife like the thumb up her ass? Was it because you convinced yourself she didn't, or that she really didn't? Again, I ask myself - how much have I changed in the last 30-90 days?

Experience counts

I have an N count I am happy with, and thus far I have not been with a woman who has a higher N count that me. I am a sales guy, and a pretty good judge of character, but even if their N count is higher (I really DGAF) my experience level is higher than theirs. Based off how I fucked the 1st girl I met post split up (what we would call starfish...hey I was nervous) to how I fuck a new woman now, there is absolutely no comparison. Missionary is not going to cut it. If you need to watch some porn to get your knowledge base up, then do it. But if you want them crawling across the floor to suck you dick - you better know how to coach them on it.

This fucking game is all mental. You think it isn't? It is. I thought I was pretty good, but nah - lots to learn brothers. Perhaps more accurately - lots to REPROGRAM.

The Plan

If you are an efficient planner, then you will have NO problems dating women. This is one area I have on 100% lock down. There is never any question on who/what/when/where. I never get any push back on the "dates" I plan, and they always make whatever arrangements necessary to ensure they are there.

Frame

Frame is everything. You have to be DNGAF right from the start. They get instantly addicted to you if you show them out of the gate you are a man who lives his own life, on your terms and they will need to do everything in their power to get an second of your time.

Bitch Management

Three is all I am willing to take on. Three different women I am fucking. The most I was ever up to was 6, and the juice was not worth the squeeze. YMMV.

I am booked out 4 weeks on dates with these women. They know that Sunday-Thursday is generally reserved for the kids, so that leaves two days a week Fri/Sat to play. I have picked up Mandy a few times from her work for a quick lunch because of the three, she is somewhere between Level 2/3 on HSP's guide. The other two, are just at Level 1.

What is the take away?

I don't know. I am in the thick of it right now and wanted to share my notes. Looking back, I can see how my own mental blocks I have had to un-program could have impacted the sex quality I was getting from my wife, so for you guys - I would challenge you on this one specific thing. So perhaps - that is the takeaway.

My window of opportunity with women is around 14 days. That is all I care about right now. That is one coffee date (about 30 mins) to make sure they are not crazy and that the look like their pics IRL, and a FUP date where we fuck. This is the traditional date. If we don't fuck on the second date, they do not get a third. I will go on record as saying I do not fuck on the first date because there are some crazy bitches out there.

Am I the same guy I was 30-90 days ago?

No.