I always wondered if I would get to this moment from the minute I first found MRP. 10 years to the day that I asked my wife to go out with me I found this place, to today. Three long years of working, improving, and focusing my life. I've been through a lot, and seen my body and especially my mind transform.

 

A lot of learning came from eye-opening texts on the sidebar of how other people thought, how to influence what they think, and how to think differently myself. I think most of the texts can simply be summed up in one sentence as: Everyone including you is their own person with their own thoughts and feelings and frames.

That's it. Interacting is learning to accept (or reject) that, and own that decision. There's no magic key to make people do what you want or think what you want. But understanding why they think the way they do does take away some of the frustration. And knowing that most people are lost souls simply looking for a leader makes assuming that position easy.

 

After 3 years, as much as i thought I had my thoughts locked down, I recently had a mind-altering experience. I dropped acid on a trip I went on. I did my research going in. I knew I was going to experience some funky thoughts. But nothing quite prepares you for an experience that shows you a glimpse of mental processes that normally run through your mind, that affect how you think every day, and how they might not be as ideal as you thought.

The experience basically broke down my current world view and let me see it from a different perspective. The truths didn't change, but the way I saw myself interpret them did. And what this made me realize is that the way our minds organize these truths involves taking the life experiences we each have and trying to put them into frames we consciously AND unconsciously construct to protect our minds from the chaos that is the random world we encounter. Each of us can see and know the same truths. But the framework the mind uses to make rules to govern our thoughts and actions about these truths can be different.

 

It also made me realize that MRP is simply one of those frames. And I had been using a lot of mental energy filtering the world through this worldview to try and make sense of it. Everything I experienced, I thought "what does this mean through an MRP lens". But I now realize that the energy I spent trying to filter actions of other people was energy I was burning for no benefit to myself. I was so busy trying to put everyone into a box, trying to out-think everyone, that I wasn't getting any joy filling my own box.

And that doesn't mean I didn't have a filled life. I was and still am going out and expanding my life all the time. But I'll compare it to going to practice a sport, versus enjoying playing the actual game. Learning about a hobby, versus enjoying the hobby. Going to college, and getting a job in that field. And of course you need both. And of course you can derive joy from both. Pushing yourself and learning is a path to fulfillment. But actually living gives the learning purpose.

 

The experience didn't provoke this thought, I had been thinking about this for a little while now. I'm ready to hang up my MRP handle. I'm ready to stop mulling over sexual dynamics and instead simply pursue sex, and life, unapologetically. To be clear about my wants and needs, my intentions and boundaries, and accept the acceptance or rejection other people have of those.

Am I abandoning the MRP framework? Not at all. Like I said, the truths are still there. And I've seen a lot of it work:

 

-I've grown from a guy who didn't take care of himself to a guy who takes pride in his looks/style/appearance.

 

-I've learned that the actions I take have consequences.

 

-I've realized that I'm not owed anything from anyone, but that I can pick the people I'm around.

 

-I've studied closely my feelings and motivations and found that while I'm don't have direct control over them, I do have control of the situations that cause them.

 

-I've expanded my options and seen that many roads are open before me. And that only by learning about all my options and their consequences can I know that the path I choose to take is one I can own.

 

-I've seen my life fill from passions I know I want to pursue, and from experiencing the passions of others when keeping an open mind and not stifling my options by protecting an ego identity.

 

-I've seen my wife follow my lead in how we speak to each other, how we discipline our kids, and how we take responsibility.

 

-I've seen my wife respond to me when I make my intentions and boundaries clear and known.

 

-I've seen my wife take pride in her body while training and lifting for a bikini competition to, in her words, "keep up with this jacked guy over here".

 

-I've seen my wife ignore the words coming out of my mouth, but follow my example when I lead and clear new paths for us.

 

-and I've also seen my wife, and others, choose not to open their lives or follow my lead...and have learned to accept that they think that way.

 

To those new to the journey: This place will help you. RP doesn't solve your problems, it gives you the tools to handle them like an adult. Guys here will push you, teach you, and slap you upside your head. Remember though that you don't learn here. You simply see a door opened to a new way of interpreting the world. When you go out and actually experience that, that's where you'll learn and create meaning behind the words. And sometimes you'll even see the words aren't entirely true, but they do get you to live by the framework that enables you to move forward.

Remember too that we are all at different points in our lives. Guys here are married, divorced, young, old, and have different passions, schedules, and thoughts about what a good first mate entails. And these things will evolve over time. You will see men doing great things with their lives. Don't lose focus of what you want while trying to emulate the super-man you've created by combining all these great things into one man. Do expand your mind by being open to the experience of other men.

 

I had a huge essay of other notes and thoughts, but like I said you don't learn that here. So I'll leave it at that. I wish you all the best in finding your ways. And appreciate everyone who has helped me find mine.

 

-JoATMoN09/Gargantuablarg29