Time to accept reality

redpotatowedge · 2016-05-04T19:26:38+00:00

When I first realized nobody gave a shit about me it hurt, a lot. Reading your situation brings that back to me a bit. But I've found life to be much better and more fulfilling in the long term after accepting it. You sound like you're well on your way. You'll get there brother.

andenyalaa · 2016-05-05T15:54:48+00:00

What are your plans for your birthday? What did you do for her birthday?

Exactly this happened to me; boo hoo, my wife doesn't care enough to do much. So fuckit, nobody is responsible for my fun but me, called my best buddy to go out for dinner and beers. He surprises me, invites all our friends, turns into the best birthday of my life. Stagger home at 4am.

Wife's birthday a few months later; I invite her family, friends, get her favourite cake, nice present, set up a party. I've been doing this for a couple of years. Because that stuff is really important to her. Because it's just part of my job. Like I'm not gonna withhold a party from my kids if they're being difficult.

This year; ready to organize something for myself but she took me out for dinner. Nice. That's something. We get there all my buddies are there. And my favourite cake she had made special. She has dinner with us then leaves us to get drunk and play pool. That was the best birthday of my life.

Dunno what's going to happen this year but I'm going to have a good birthday and so is she.

The only thing you're required to get only from your wife in marriage is physical/sexual intimacy. Everything else you can get other ways, elsewhere. The bank paradox applies here; poor and need a loan, probably won't get it. Have lots of money they'll pursue you to give a loan.

If you're a man who desperately needs a party, she ain't gonna give you one. If you are the party, she might.

Deraileur · 2016-05-04T19:43:32+00:00

Happy Birthday!!

Here's your gift.... No One cares. nO oNE.

It's not pretty or nice. That's the point. You have to kill your ego and realize the only one looking out for you is you. It actually is freeing - you learn to expect nothing, so are amazingly ok when nothing happens.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-05-04T19:28:45+00:00

Is it a good beer?

spexer · 2016-05-04T19:39:49+00:00

No one really cares for you - but you.

The awesome part of that is that you are now all powerful to make your life great - because now you are counting on yourself, someone who you can count on.

Shubrook · 2016-05-04T19:56:16+00:00

Happy Birthday!

If your wife had asked you what gift you wanted for your birthday, and where you wanted to go...

Go buy that thing, and take her out to that place. You've earned it.

FearDearg2015 · 2016-05-04T19:44:43+00:00

I think it's time I see the reality of my situation and dive in.

Agreed. Lemme help you get started with that : the reality of your situation is that you feel bad because your wife didn't uphold her end of a contract that she didn't even know about. This is not her fault. The reality of your situation is that you are getting lazy: you feel like you've put in enough effort, and that you are entitled to be rewarded for those efforts. The reality of your situation is that your wife is on a pedestal. You do things for her, in the hope of being rewarded with some scraps of her glorious attention. Maybe even one of those porn star style blow jobs you keep reading about. The reality of your situation is that this is how things are right now. The question to you is: what are you gonna do about it? You can of course choose to do nothing, and that would be fine. It's your choice. What you can't really do though is sit around feeling sorry for yourself and wishing that your life was different. Wishing won't make it so.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-05-05T01:57:25+00:00

In spite of the sex issue, I have always thought she really loves me.

I think her definition of love is different than yours.

That she's very happy with her life.

If she is happy and you are unhappy that is a problem. It's all there in the Wiki.

ReddJive · 2016-05-05T11:13:27+00:00

My wife forgets when my birthday is.

Fuck that. I don't need that. This year I went out....didn't come home until 2am. What did i do? She didn't ask I didn't say.

Fuck that.

You do you.

This year she gets a bag of skittles.

PurpleVeteran · 2016-05-04T19:53:30+00:00

The birthday thing really is a huge covert contract. You want to do something awesome, plan it yourself! Go golfing then grab dinner at the steak place, or whatever things you like. Invite her along -- or don't. Then add "I picked you up a little something frilly for both of us to enjoy later."

Pizza and beer with the kids are fine, but you're basically saying that you're not worth more. Have fun with your family, but demonstrate that you value yourself, even if she doesn't.

40mullet · 2016-05-05T06:17:55+00:00

Only one of my closest friends gets surprise parties from his wife. On the other hand, he has sex once a week last 15 years. (thats dead in my book)

My wife never buys me anything, when I ask about it (I dont really care), I see she genuinely do not know what to buy, do I like it, can we afford it, usually hamsters her away from buying gifts. Our 8 y wedding anniversary is coming, I honestly don´t know the right date, maybe thats why I aint getting any gifts.

bogeyd6 · 2016-05-05T12:55:44+00:00

I hear where you are coming from, but your validation and crying in your beer isn't going to fix what you have made. Get your shit together and then start working on fixing your house. Work your dread steps the proper way and then worry about it when you get to Step 12.

angels_fan · 2016-05-06T14:27:02+00:00

I'm going to go against the circle jerk here and say that the men that seek out MRP are the men who have dysfunctional wives who have clinical issues, which include narcissism, hence they don't care about the men.

I found TRP by accident, and I guarantee my wife cares for me... A LOT. I know the men here will call me out that she's no special snowflake, but that's because they've locked themselves in the echo chamber. It's a but like Plato's cave in here.

I do believe that MRP is a very helpful place for the men who are in these types of relationships, and it sounds like you are in one. But just don't buy into the AWALT you'll see here. It should be read as AW-who fit the demographic of men that seek out mrp-ALT.

TheFamilyAlpha · 2016-05-04T21:00:33+00:00

Are you having any fun with her?

Are you making her feel? I know this is about you and improving your life, but for that to happen she has to feel something towards you. Something that makes her want to make you proud and please you.

Do me a favor, grab her and spin her around, pick her up and carry her to another room where all you do is whisper I fucking love you in her ear then walk away.

Take her by the hand and ballroom dance, do something fucking fun, make her laugh with you, remind her that this shit called life is nothing more than a game we're playing and there is no reason to be serious about it.

Get back to that boyish charm and the irrational self confidence and joy you used to have.

Don't focus on the number of fucks you get a month, focus on the smiles you get a day, the little things she does to make you happy - when those rise, so will the sex - if you're suave and inspire that in her.

edit

To be clear, don't do this as some BP fuck. I want genuine happiness, tease her, tug her hair, slap the ass, crack the jokes, make yourself happy again - it will make her happy, I guarantee it.

Hollerich · 2016-05-07T18:37:02+00:00

twice a month? I have not had sex with my wife since the summer of 2010. So what's that, nearly 6 years now.

throwawaypille · 2016-05-05T06:44:24+00:00

Wow ... My wife has always done something cool for my birthday, even when in the depths of DB and ignoring me completely and in an emotional affair, and apologised when it wasn't as cool as other years. Seems she isn't as bad as some of the other wives on here, or I wasn't ever totally beta.

That is shitty. It's your birthday ffs.

dublinclontarf · 2016-05-04T23:31:05+00:00

Not too far from my situation, but with much much less sex(me).

I need a therapist.

Title	Time to accept reality
Author	run_guy
Upvotes	25
Comments	49
Date	May 4, 2016 7:16 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4hw498/time_to_accept_reality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/time-to-accept-reality.200030 https://theredarchive.com/post/200030

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