What is the difference between a shit test and emotional abuse?

irateMD · 2016-05-18T01:27:37+00:00

Sexyshoulderdevil gave good advice if what she's doing is teasing, fair criticism, or if you're overly sensitive. There aren't enough details in your post to sort that out. Some abusive things are obvious, like assault. Others are less obvious. There's a limit to MRP's subscription to "extreme ownership." It's a strategy for self improvement, not advice to stay with an abusive partner.

I've pulled a few items from Table 1 of the study by Follingstad et al, entitled Psychologists' judgments of psychologically aggressive actions when perpetrated by a husband versus a wife
Page 167-168 here

Selected items where psychologists were less likely to see the behavior as abusive if coming from a woman:

Treating spouse as inferior
Not letting spouse socialize with family/friends
Denying spouse of private time
Forcing spouse to account for whereabouts at all times or monitored spouse's location
Checking spouse's belongings to confirm suspicions
Yelling/screaming or swearing at spouse
Made decisions about spouse's appearance
Not allowed to speak/look at members of opposite sex
Deciding what spouse could eat
Choosing spouse's friends or activities
Forced to ask for money
Keeping spouse from self-improvement activities

The red pill main sub sometimes advocates that guys do some of the things listed above. Maybe they think turnabout is fair play. You won't usually see the same advice here. Life's too short to tolerate an abusive partner, and you have to consider what impact witnessing or experiencing abuse would have on any kids.

So, is /u/sexyshoulderdevil right that you're an overly sensitive, socially inept loser? Or are you actually being abused by your wife?

BluepillProfessor · 2016-05-18T01:47:42+00:00

One is something women do and the other is something men do.

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-05-18T00:18:05+00:00

So you're asking if a shit test from your wife is tantamount to emotional abuse to you?

Eh, toughen up and learn how to deal with them.

They are "beta traps" innately set by women to snare a tastey beta for her to feast upon (That's a treat for you my blooper friends...). If you know what you're doing, you should see it, walk around it and laugh at the thought of some idiot getting stuck in that mess.

It's not abuse when you can just flat out ignore whatever she's flinging at you verbally.

helps_using_paradox · 2016-05-18T02:12:33+00:00

A shit test you own your behavior and role you play in the interaction. Emotional abuse you play the victim.

Hotdawg179 · 2016-05-18T01:50:28+00:00

I think this is a fair question but really only you can decide. Try treating them like shit tests and see if they go away! Give it some time and if not then fucking walk.

648262 · 2016-05-18T12:55:46+00:00

The line is when you've had enough, and feel like a victim.

CinnaMagister · 2016-05-18T12:44:23+00:00

What are you even asking? Your question makes it sound like you are experiencing shit tests that may be shading into emotional abuse, but your statement in the OP indicates that you are the one dishing out shit tests and worrying that you may be going too far?

If it is the latter, you have some serious work to do. You don't do shit tests, you don't manipulate her in emotional ways.

Pinelero · 2016-05-18T13:25:24+00:00

"... all men beat their families..." ,

I understand the point you are making, but I reject this opinion. It's like saying all men are rapist.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-05-18T15:05:24+00:00

What's the difference between a friendly pat on the shoulder and a hay maker?

aanarchist · 2016-05-28T00:53:35+00:00

shit test is emotional abuse, your relationship depends on how much of it you're willing to tolerate.

Sibilant_Engorgement · 2016-05-18T03:39:48+00:00

Read the side bar and learn how to deal with shit tests. If you feel emotional abuse, it's either you are a pussy, or you need help from other sources because you are a pussy.

Title	What is the difference between a shit test and emotional abuse?
Author	Shubrook
Upvotes	14
Comments	51
Date	May 17, 2016 11:09 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4jtoxq/what_is_the_difference_between_a_shit_test_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/what-is-the-difference-between-a-shit-test-and.199980 https://theredarchive.com/post/199980

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