Dating is horrible

wearpantsmuch · 2025-01-30T22:38:12+00:00

It's called hoeflation and it's one of the worst effects the dating apps has had on society.

Frird2008 · 2025-01-30T22:24:12+00:00

If my own best possible version of myself isn't enough for a person they shouldn't be in my life to begin with. That's how I see it. There is ZERO HONOR in trying to be someone else's best possible version of yourself if that specific version of you is someone you will hate being.

SpicyTigerPrawn · 2025-01-30T20:02:51+00:00

For me it seems that the top 20% is all that matters for girls. The rest of us is just there to take blame for extremist male behaviours.

From the modern feminist perspective if you're not amazing then you're nothing. To make real progress you need to be the best guy her social circle has ever seen and even then you'll be kicked to the curb the moment something better comes along. You're just a stopgap dildo with an ATM card until then. That's the reality that the sexual revolution brought us.

SpreadGroundbreaking · 2025-01-30T22:10:22+00:00

Fellow swede here, 31. Going trough the same. And while feeling lonely, i hear constantly from lady friends that im a great person and yadi yada.

Take a break if you need to,cbut dont give up. Personally Ive reached the point of im gonna live my life as i want, not gonna actively try and attract just gonna be me and whatever happens..happens.

Fortsätt kämpa 👊

Proverbs_31_2-3 · 2025-01-30T21:55:36+00:00

According to dating statistics, in order to find a life partner you just need to be over six feet tall, make at least 20k a month have an eight inch dong and six pack abs.

There’s not really anything you can do against hypergamy. It’s only going to get worse.

Tiger4ever89 · 2025-01-30T23:30:16+00:00

the harsh reality is.. if you cannot stand being mean and bad... but tricky and also cunning? you have slim chances with girls these days...

wobbiso · 2025-01-31T02:51:23+00:00

Stop paying for dates. That way you know if she is ACTUALLY interested in you or not. Also, you're very lucky to live in Sweden, trust me. Finally, recommend on lowering your beauty expectations and life will be unbelievably easier. Or be alone all your life if you want that. You don't want to date when you're 30. Every month you wait just lowers the pool of desirable candidates.

And no. Modern women simply are not attracted to men. If they don't need your money, the vast majority of modern women are happy being lesbians with only female friends. The minority actually want husbands.

MindfulOfMySpace · 2025-01-31T09:05:33+00:00

Fellow Swede here, in my 30’s. Dating was an eye opener for me, just seeing that women are not worth the time or effort we men are expected to put in. I tried to follow the script of being nice, treating them well and going on dinner dates like they wanted (and usually end up wasting a lot of money and time), and rarely getting much in return. However if you are an attractive guy and bit of an asshole, women will let you pump them behind a dumpster, and then they go back home to their ”nice guy”. Let’s say you make it to the top 10% in terms of money and status. These women you get will look pretty, but will be cold monsters on the inside. You have no gurantee as a man. She can leave at anytime. And what is worse is that we have total hoeflation. An ugly woman, who can’t even cook, think she is owed a male superhero basically.

SituacijaJeSledeca · 2025-01-31T07:01:02+00:00

How tall are you my friend?

Neat-Attempt-4333 · 2025-01-31T09:28:08+00:00

As a normal man you dont really get to date women that are on the same level as you. I got rejected from them every time. All dates that were successfull was with women that were not on my level, they had less hobbys, did less sport, were not as good educated as me, had less friends and did make less money than me. Thats just how it is as a man.

90srubyj · 2025-01-30T22:13:48+00:00

focus on other things, or date someone of another nationality

yadayadayadaetc · 2025-01-31T08:40:55+00:00

Hej svenskae, är 35, bor i gbg och är i en relation. Skriv gärna till mig pga skulle gärna tala ärligt kring dejting

Magical-Hummus · 2025-01-30T21:31:59+00:00

Hookers. Cheaper than a date, guaranteed to get laid and you get to leave with no emotional bullshit to worry you.

pancakecel · 2025-01-30T21:59:43+00:00

I honestly feel like this post (and similar ones) undermines the image of the sub for outsiders. This is not to say that the interpersonal pain you feel isn't real, but the optics isn't good for the men's rights cause.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2025-01-31T03:43:30+00:00

As someone said already, focus on other things. Why are you living for women?

One_Job_3324 · 2025-01-31T01:24:47+00:00

Go abroad.

To Asia, Latin America or Africa. Or Eastern Europe.

Sweden is culturally unwell, just like the West in general. Leave if you can.

Jag har varit gift med en thailändsk kvinna i 20 år. Livet är bra.

uoklai · 2025-02-03T00:23:39+00:00

You’re playing by the rules, but the game was never fair to begin with. You’ve done everything ‘right’—education, career, health—but the system doesn’t reward men just for being good partners. Women don’t choose based on fairness; they choose based on perceived value. Those top 20% aren’t just richer or more attractive—they project strength and scarcity.

But here’s what’s crucial to understand: a woman is not a necessity for life. Your happiness, self-respect, and sense of wholeness should not depend on whether someone chooses you or not. As long as you seek validation through a woman’s approval, you’re playing someone else’s game with rules set against you. The question isn’t how to be more desirable—it’s how to stop needing to be.

QuasiQwazi · 2025-01-31T13:10:25+00:00

Lots of bad advice here. It’s a mistake to be nice and respectful to women. You should act like you don’t care. Flatter them just enough to keep them guessing. Take charge of everything. If they override your authority call them out and reject them if necessary. Demand respectful behaviour like no cell phones. Let them know they are on probation. If this sounds harsh, don’t worry, it works. Women hate nice guys and pussies. In short, take charge, be generous and amusing and disagree with them over important issues.

Weekly-Ad-8530 · 2025-01-31T20:27:35+00:00

How are you not the top 20% if you are fit, handsome, sociable and nice?

Gleichstellung4084 · 2025-02-01T16:46:03+00:00

Hey man, you are on a perilous cliff here.

On one side, the phenomena you are talking about are very real. Modern life, social expectations, a flavor of feminism and ofc. social dating apps have lead to shitty dating trends, that also reflect to the experience that you have, which is very real.

On the other side though... People need partners less. ONe has today substitutes for all sort of things a partner was providing before. You can make friends, find purpose, spend your time, satisfy your self-sexually in external ways, that were not available before. That, makes people picky and not pressed, same way you are doing (in a different context, you would may have been begging the autistic girl to give you some attention). Having a girlfriend/boyfriend is not as important as it was before, it has a bit of an optional luxury feeling.

Having "standards" is not something bad in itself: You have them too. You want someone on an "at least equal looks and social level". Yes, it can become bad very fast: You have been seeing girls rejecting you in bad manners or girls maybe having unrealistic standards or, or, or, or.

You are right to say, that dating sucks. It does fucking such. and in many ways it is way worse, than it was "back in the day". In many other ways it's better, as you do have an option to find something through a greater selection (and a definitely worse overall experience).

BUT: Do not make the mistake to blame "society", as this would remove your own personal participation into that. There is no central person/cult dictating things, things evolve. You have options in this society, even MGTW is an option not afforded in other societies (or "before"). Society owes you NOTHING in the relationship domain. It may be fucked up, but... You also did not study, just to find a girlfriend, you studied for you. And above all, do not make the mistake to blame "women". That would make you a sexist. And you are not. All of these mistakes are a fast train ticket to depression, starting from a very real position: you realising that dating sucks (and trust me, relationships in your thirties... when people start thinking about having a family, suck BIG TIME).

Ok-Manufacturer-7842 · 2025-02-01T17:18:50+00:00

Dejta killar istället. Då slipper du stå för hela notan och har sällskap som du kan njuta av samtidigt som det är väldigt sannolikt att du får den uppvaktning du saknar. Det kommer jag göra om jag blir singel igen. Gillar båda könen och är så sjukt trött på tjejers attityd i dagens samhälle. De är ointressanta och kräver mer än de förtjänar. Verklighetsfrånvända.

NoVeterinarian7438 · 2025-02-05T07:13:45+00:00

Wow sometimes I forget that it’s like this even in places like Sweden. Boys we are so cooked 🫡

QuadLazr · 2025-02-06T13:34:46+00:00

I have heard that Sweden is like feminism in the United States, but on steroids.

potatoloveer___ · 2025-02-09T11:50:24+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to u ☹️ I hope a real one comes by one day, gl!! X

2025-02-27T18:56:21+00:00

Most guys I know have completely given up on dating. Unless you're a sociopath online dating is pointless.

Early_Economy2068 · 2025-05-02T17:53:45+00:00

Wonder why it’s not working out for you man, you seem lovely…

Jordan_Johnson100 · 2025-06-17T06:29:58+00:00

Nah. Nope. No. Not “Some of the girls has been very autistic.” /

2025-01-31T02:14:38+00:00

Lower the bar for a quick lay.

crisdd0302 · 2025-01-31T18:09:54+00:00

Start traveling bro, there are 4 billion women in existence right now, you can and will find someone that will be compatible with you and what you both look for.

sj20442 · 2025-02-01T02:14:12+00:00

I'm betting you're not as good looking or socially competent as you think you are, also if you're so pissed about women being cautious of all men over the actions of the few predators, then do something about those few that make things harder for the rest of us, rather than blaming women for having to fear being raped and murdered by a man who can't take no for an answer.

MonkOnTheWay11 · 2025-02-01T13:17:13+00:00

Its great that you've been on dates. I am from India and would turn 26 this May but as of now I haven't been on any dates. So you are definitely a sociable person who deserves to be loved and experience it with a genuine partner.

However, even though I have no experience I would still suggest you to change the way you date. Online dating apps are not the place (I think) where you'll find true connections and people who would love you for the person you are. You have a great health which is a plus point so just work on maintaining the physical fitness

But honestly I would suggest you to try go the offline way while pursuing dates. Try and approach people from your workplace (ofcourse beyond your working hours) or even ex-schoolmates or college friends. Also if you have supportive and encouraging friends then ask them to set you up with someone according to your type.

The point is simple- change your way of seeking a true and genuine partner. And trust me if it is destined you will surely end up being with the person whom you deserve and who deserves someone like you. Because a lot of also depends on destiny too (if you are a bit philosophical and spiritual then you would believe in this).

All the best buddy...

Quarto6 · 2025-01-31T13:43:57+00:00

So it's ok when you reject them for not being good looking or being on your "social level" whatever that is but you're mad they're rejecting you.

_NRNA_ · 2025-01-31T01:17:25+00:00

If its any consolation, its not sustainable. Start organizing.

fanatic26 · 2025-01-31T00:28:15+00:00

Sounds like dating you is horrible because you are so incredibly judgemental. "shes not on my looks" "shes not on my social level" both make you sound like the problem.

2025-02-01T10:13:10+00:00

So pre-dating is actually a skill,
which is separate to the skill of dating,
which is separate to the date of maintain a relationship

In the same manner that you cannot treat someone you are dating like you are married husband and wife, you cannot treat someone you are pre-dating like you are already dating. People who cannot describe this phenomenon vaguely describe this as "game."

You are 26. I am 32. I met my now wife at 30. It doesn't matter how long it takes to meet your partner, just make sure you are not with a non-dateable woman and miss the opportunity to meet your future partner.

Majority of relationships/marriages end in separation. Be glad you did not accidentally end up with one of those 12 who would have ended up in divorce at 50 years old.

DesertCool500 · 2025-02-02T01:05:02+00:00

This is not a men’s right issue. It is simply the state of dating in today’s society. Figure out what you may need to fix in your dating arsenal to lead to better results.

djdmaze · 2025-01-30T22:20:43+00:00

Man you have to get out of that mindset. Forget the Disney fairytales. You’re like the guy waiting at the bottom of the castle for Repunzel to drop her long hair down for you to climb up. You forget men built the damn castle. So why would you be waiting at the bottom? She should be begging you for entry. Get that attitude about women and dating then I promise you’ll have no problem. As much as you and women themselves think they want to be on a pedestal, they do not. Cavemen didn’t court cavewomen. They bashed them over the head and dragged them back to the cave. Society doesn’t overcome evolution.

WhyTypeHour · 2025-01-31T01:07:28+00:00

You are not as sociable as you think.

Gilbert_Gaped · 2025-01-30T20:12:13+00:00

Autonomous individuals (including women) can judge potential dating partners, on any criteria they choose (and it might not be the same criteria as yours).

Women are as individual as men, and so are their tastes. The only common denominator in this scenario, is you. So either there is something you need to work on to not be so generally off-putting, or you haven't met the right person who is looking for someone like you.

State-Tough · 2025-01-31T03:53:59+00:00

First time on this page and this is the first thing that comes up😭😅, i’m sorry that you’re struggling with dating, that sounds tough but as a female i would’ve rejected you too just based on how you presented yourself here and the comments are just pathetic, best of luck tho!

SheerFe4r · 2025-01-30T20:07:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Independent-Cloud822 · 2025-01-31T11:21:51+00:00

Go to Thailand

umenu · 2025-02-03T05:05:48+00:00

And no girl will ever love you, because you don't seem to understand what love is.... "I rejected them on looks and social level. Some were autistic." So you don't look for someone that loves you. You look for someone you can show off, and that's why you got rejected. I bet you also don't look as good a you believe you do otherwise at least one of them was blinded enough to not notice your shallowness.

NoSpinach4025 · 2025-01-31T14:51:57+00:00

Your idealization of love, romantic partnership and women speaks "low Testosterone" to me. Women are attracted to T and they have instinctual radars for this, so your low T is repelling them, is that simple.

Work on your T, and no, Gym is not enough, in fact, I think Gym is for men what make-up is for women: it allows you to pretend what you don't have (T, in your case).

How to naturally increase T (for starters):
- Stop masturbation/porn, now.
- Eat more meat and fat, contrary what these stupid doctors tell you, you want high cholesterol as it is a precursor for T production. No cholesterol = No T.
- Avoid plastics as much as possible, read about bisphenol.
- Avoid other feminizing substances like soy and perfume.

T has been under attack for at least a couple generations now, it is a very well known fact that T is in huge decline, globally. Women respond to T, and they have innate radars for it, as your T levels reflect subtly in the way you talk, move, your face, and yes, the way you process the world. This is why so many modern men have issues naturally attracting women.

Nero401 · 2025-01-31T13:23:47+00:00

I am going to be racist here. North / central europe sucks for dating. Move south

Dating is horrible

Comments

DrizzleDrizzle 😁😁😁

Title	Dating is horrible
Author	okzer
Upvotes	346
Comments	142
Date	January 30, 2025 7:43 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1idvjvq/dating_is_horrible/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/dating-is-horrible.1542584 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542584