Getting raped as a guy is not important?

Reven_77 · 2024-06-15T11:47:23+00:00

I was sexually assaulted at a mcdonalds by someone who was 18+ (idk her age but I know she was above 18) and at the time I was 16. We were both working there.

She was just basically told to not do it again and let off the hook. If the roles were reversed I'd be in prison.

It's messed up but it's the world we live in.

BiliLaurin238 · 2024-06-15T11:25:15+00:00

The fucking UK considers female to male rape IMPOSSIBLE. They think that only men can rape, it's fucking disgusting. We're supposed to "enjoy it"? Absolutely horrendous

Street_Conflict_9008 · 2024-06-15T11:33:47+00:00

The social stigma males face is much greater than females.

In history

If a male rapes or abused a female, the male got punished.

If the female rapes or abused a male, the male got punished. (Public humiliation)

The question is, how much has society changed in its thinking?

Hope you are in a better place now, and getting the help you need.

AccursedBiscuit · 2024-06-15T14:45:25+00:00

Got into an argument just the other day with a woman who said that boys benefit from being raped, saying it boosts their confidence and social standing. I had to walk away before I did something both of us would regret.

DopeRoninthatsmokes · 2024-06-15T11:42:54+00:00

Leave her please buddy, some other poor ticket can keep her. What happened to you is equally awful and I’m sorry you had to not only deal with it but feel belittled.

xEyelessOnex · 2024-06-15T12:27:54+00:00

Of course it's not important. You're a man. Men only ever think about sex. Doesn't matter if you were drunk or not. Doesn't matter if your black cherry was violated. You had an erection and you climaxed. Therefore, you enjoyed it. You wanted it.

Signed,

Society.

abu_nawas · 2024-06-15T14:11:49+00:00

I was groped by a woman in a train during rush hour.

If I were a woman, security would have been waiting for the perp at the next stop.

terramir3 · 2024-06-15T11:27:47+00:00

Yep US as well all 50 states made to penetrate not a thing when it comes to the law. It sucks

FanC_Fox · 2024-06-15T14:43:26+00:00

I was sexually assaulted by my best friend of 10 years. Nobody seems to care, our mutual friends still talked to him. My GF says I’m sorry babe when I talked about it but then forgets about it the next second (doesn’t owe me anything but idk what I expect out of her).

Edit: apparently I’m banned from r/Offmychest because I made this comment in an “incel” subreddit. Is this an incel subreddit ?

PeytonManningsBurner · 2024-06-15T14:15:23+00:00

I was rped about two years ago. I opened up to some coworkers about it after it happened and they all laughed at me and then spread it around my place of work. I have a background in mixed martial arts and so it was seen as impossible for this to happen to me. That’s all they could focus on was that I physically could have stopped her if I had wanted to. But that’s not usually how women r** men. The way she did it was by calling me a pussy and a fggot, and yelling at me and telling me that she didn’t wait for me to drive all the way down to see her and not fck her. The final time I said no (after saying it over and over again for five to ten minutes) she told me to shut the fuck up and climbed on top of me—and the rest is history. I obviously didn’t climax and it ended with her yelling at me for not being able to and calling me names. My coworkers spreading it around prevented my most recent promotion from taking place because the individual doing the hiring saw me as dramatic and exaggerating. Mind you this was the only thing she knew about me going into the interview and on all other counts I aced the interview. Of the three people conducting the interview the other two loved me and told me that I was their top choice, but it was her decision. When I reached out to her via email and asked what I could have done better or what I could work on in the meantime so that I would be more eligible for positions like that in the future, she said that I needed to work on gaining experience. But the person she hired had FIFTEEN YEARS less experience than I do. I know it’s because I opened up about being r*ped. She’s old school and Republican as hell and sees it as a sign of weakness I’m sure. I’ve opened up about it three times, once to those coworkers, once to a friend, and once to my sister and only my sister gave a shit. Everyone else just laughed. Every single one of them asked me if I was aroused when it happened as if that’s their trump card. It’s evil, man.

I’m sorry your situation happened to you. Don’t let it define you. Don’t give your assaulter that power over you. Let it be something that happened to you and not something that has control over you. You’re strong and I’m sure everyone in this sub can empathize and feel for you. Wishing you all the best, brother. I believe in you, man.

Own_Pause_4959 · 2024-06-15T13:11:15+00:00

Something that is not spoken about enough is that when you factor in made to penetrate, statistics on sexual assault between men and women are pretty similar.

alfrodou · 2024-06-15T14:43:30+00:00

By my experience, it is only important if you were raped by another guy, but if it was a girl... you are no man enough (or something similar)

Naive_Employment535 · 2024-06-15T11:25:56+00:00

Well done mate, she deserved nothing better and only whatever evil life has in store for her

Alone_Interaction368 · 2024-06-15T13:19:01+00:00

Honestly man, you dodged a bullet. Its best that you left a girl who kept bringing up her unfortunate situation in your relationship. That too dismissing your situation which was even more worse than hers

SpicySpicyMess · 2024-06-15T15:34:42+00:00

Yes. That's how society sees it. Some people don't even consider it rape

TskSake · 2024-06-15T12:19:33+00:00

The only thing she’s right about is that it isn’t the same, but that’s because you’re DIFFERENT PEOPLE. Female on Male rape is EQUALLY as bad and no one should ever tell you otherwise.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. It sounds like she just used something traumatic as a get out of jail free card when in reality, the rape us women got rhough shouldn’t be used that way because men who get raped also can’t use it.

You deserve a lot better than what you’ve been given and i’m so sorry if she and possibly others have made you believe anything else.

Additional_Insect_44 · 2024-06-15T12:59:19+00:00

It is important and many recognize it.

Tokenazn11 · 2024-06-15T15:35:14+00:00

There are quite a lot of women that believe men can not be raped. It’s insane. I have a very hard time seducing men because of the stories I’ve heard from guy friends. Sometimes it sounded like the girls didn’t even realize they were doing anything wrong, which is scary. I never want to be one of those girls, it’s a huge fear of mine. If a man doesn’t come out and say that he wants something sexual, he’s not going to get it, because I don’t even wanna question if I did that to a man.

Yepitsme2020 · 2024-06-15T22:10:27+00:00

It's wild how familiar your story is, and sorry you had to put up with that BTW. No compassion for what you went through.

I had a very similar experience every single woman I shared my story with. Mine was when I was 10 yrs old, from an older relative, and because she's a female, any time I shared what she did to me, I was blown away at how easily it was dismissed, and in most cases, the women seemed irritated or angry at me for even sharing.

I kept the experience to myself my entire life, but when I was engaged to be married, I figured it was time to share my past with my fiance' at the time right? Makes sense?

Huge mistake!

No sooner had I finished telling her what happened, and how it impacted me, when she just made a little sound like: "Huh...." Brief pause, then proceeded to say: "Yea, but you're a guy so you probably liked it!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. WTF? I just finished telling her how screwed up this was, and how it messed up my life, made me hesitant to trust women, and just overall F'ed up my ability to feel close and intimate, and her response is "you probably liked it!!?"

She then went on to tell me how it's worse for "a girl" and acted defensive, as if I'd done something wrong by opening up and sharing my experience with her. Turned into this huge argument of her raising her voice, and making it look like I was somehow a sexist because I dared to think being molested and 3 seconds from being raped as a 10 year old by an older woman was bad, and should be viewed as serious as if I had been a girl.

This moment caused me to rethink marrying her, and eventually I did call that one off, as how could I trust someone who took something terrible that happened to me, and instead of feeling empathy, flipped it to where I had to DEFEND MYSELF from assertions of being sexist??? WTF?

So that was my introduction into the "men being raped isn't that bad" club, and it took a very long time before I shared what happened to me with anyone else. But once again I made the mistake of thinking I should open up to my GF at the time after 2 years of being together, thinking there should be no secrets right?

This one rewarded my opening up to her with a: "Oh.... Well that sucks" response and just moved along changing the subject as if I'd just told her I tried to get a burger but the restaurant was closed. 0 empathy. When I steered the conversation back to my experience, she sensed I was a bit irritated that she barely expressed any caring or interest whatsoever and asked a few questions, but after the second question, hit me with the: "Well that wasn't right what she did, but you were a boy, and you probably liked it and bragged about it to your friends" - When I asked wtf she would think I liked it, she asked: "well did you get hard"? Once again she went on to preach to me that it's worse for girls, because girls feel powerless, and don't have the strength to just force the person off of them, etc. etc... Nevermind the fact I was 10 freaking years old at the time dealing with someone much older and bigger than me.

Another fight, another chunk of time wasted, and it was startling to me how this conversation seemed almost like a carbon copy of my first discussion. All the same talking points, the same butt-hurt attitude from this GF as the first, as if I did something wrong for sharing. I won't bore you with all the details of the rest of the conversation or the next time I tried to share, but after the third attempt and yet again getting 0 sympathy I promised to never again share my experience with a woman. Never... It accomplished nothing, and made me feel like garbage, guilty for even expecting a sliver of human decency and empathy.

I suppose that's why I share the story here. It's the only place you can decompress by sharing the experience without being told you probably enjoyed it, and it wasn't that bad, and that it's far worse for women.

Thankfully I got over it, learned to come to terms with what had happened and to move on. But the irritation of having my experiences downplayed and dismissed by the women who claimed to love and care for me really left a mark to where I no longer open up in that way. I pretend that period of my life never existed as far as they are concerned and it's carried over to other traumatic things that happened to me. I don't share them with my S.O.'s anymore, only my close friends or on a board. Learned to not expect empathy, and that kind of sucks, because I hate feeling as if I've not been 100% open. But live and learn eh?

Rhbgrb · 2024-06-15T17:21:41+00:00

Yes!!!!!! You're so awesome for dumping her that instant. Rape is rape no matter the sex of the victim or perpetrator.

Fantastic_Witness391 · 2024-06-15T16:49:22+00:00

Both instances are from the same cause, it’s the same thing. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

GrapeyOrdeal · 2024-06-16T00:04:10+00:00

I got sexually assaulted in a middle school math class in front of everyone including the teacher and no one cared. The girl shoved her hand down my pants. That same year, I accidentally elbowed a girl in the lunch line and got investigated for sexual assault. I almost went to jail until the girl admitted she lied (and of course faced no punishment). I’ve just come to terms that this society doesn’t care and never will, unless you’re a female.

Jeepwave13 · 2024-06-15T16:37:17+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through that. When it happened to me, I was drugged and assaulted in my own home and the cops told me that if I kept trying to go higher and get a report taken that I'd be the one thrown in jail. They don't give a shit about guys.

zPaniK · 2024-06-15T17:55:50+00:00

My twin brother and I worked in a cheese factory with a bunch of older ladies. Of the roughly 100 people that worked there, there was like 15 guys… I’m honestly not sure why the gender ratio was so skewed, but it created this sort of environment that I can only describe as a “hen house”. Apart from a few exceptions, they were all in their 40’s and 50’s; and we were 19.

The amount of sexual harassment we experienced there was astounding, and it was worse because we knew a bunch of their kids from school…

They would straight up grab my ass anytime I bent over, bolder ones would try to slide a finger between my ass crack. Nothing ever came of it, even the one guy manager I had would just sort of chuckle awkwardly and brush it off.

I ended up being fired after my car battery died and I ran out of points, but fuck man, I didn’t realize how much it bothered me until after I left.

gabriel-kornilov · 2024-06-15T18:17:41+00:00

Nothing is important enough as long as it happens to a man, it seems. We're supposed to take anything without a peep because we are "the privileged oppressors". Walk away.

Wendigogodancer · 2024-06-16T00:30:34+00:00

I was raped. My story has never been taken seriously.

MekTam · 2024-06-15T12:32:19+00:00

Tell her you are coming out as trans and watch that smile disappear and her running away at breakneck speeds. Sorry about what happened to you, bruv. Hung in there.

MaxTheCatigator · 2024-06-15T16:41:50+00:00

She's right in that you shouldn't use it as an excuse. But neither can she, the fact that she does shows that she's a feminist chauvinist who sees herself superior.

Good of you to break up.

Limp_Razzmatazz_792 · 2024-06-15T19:04:42+00:00

Someone who "almost raped" have more suffering than someone who "IS RAPED". What kind of logic is that.

Sirpatron1 · 2024-06-16T00:42:43+00:00

That fact you guys were vocal. You have my respect

Plus-Pollution-5916 · 2024-06-15T14:58:56+00:00

I totally support you for the horrible thing you have experienced. However, you did the wrong thing by telling her. I know you were expecting that telling her what you have gone through would make her feel empathy towards you. Basically, women are careless about men's tough times. They can't see outside the bubble they are in.

wildKarenusedscREEch · 2024-06-15T16:04:35+00:00

"Family friend" in her 30's when I was 10 or younger! 🖐🏾(innocence lost)

They "Talked" and was asked to never bring it up again.

Man touches one of us, Immediate threats of death and violence and prison time.

Sandwhale123 · 2024-06-15T22:18:38+00:00

Dismissing your partners trauma, thats pretty low

MaximumTangerine5662 · 2024-06-16T03:20:52+00:00

This is part of the reason I don't trust statistic when it comes to Rape between genders as it is always one-sided. I hate the idea of women thinking they can say things like, "there are thousands of women who won't speak up about being raped because it is traumatic' when in actuality cases like these are more common in guys.

I am not expecting them to automatically know the law but fr, those points are bland and are actually useless in the greater scheme of things. When the Law automatically excludes Male Rape that is going to cause a divide within statistics. That needs to be fought and called attention to.

Also women get more attention for the same issues men have. It's not particularly fair, but it's nice to see other men in the comments being affirming to you and actually speaking out against their own stories.

JustAnotherJoeBloggs · 2024-06-16T10:35:12+00:00

So your girlfriend wasn't raped but still harps on about not being raped to you who was raped. Right. She wasn't raped but had it worse than you who was raped. Totally clear.

Break up was the best decision you'll ever make. Go find a MGTOW website and get some advice.

BertyBastard · 2024-06-16T17:09:33+00:00

Welcome to feminism.

8MCM1 · 2024-06-15T13:51:28+00:00

All that story tells me is that she's an asshole.

JuJuMoyaGate · 2024-06-15T15:08:48+00:00

Rape is rape. If women want equality, true equality, then they must face the same scrutiny as everyone else.

lrlimits · 2024-06-15T15:38:49+00:00

I think the establishment fears men and tries to weaponize women against us using the judicial system or "lawfare". Many women don't take the bait, but many do.

I work in education, and women know they can touch me and say whatever they want to me with impunity. One seduced me, then started giggling and said, "I love getting people into trouble!"

The next week, I was called into human resources...

BravoPUA · 2024-06-15T17:43:12+00:00

Like many (liberals) she is using it as victimhood currency

When you exploded= wrong way to bring it up

Should have dumped her way before you lost it!

Expert_Imaginary · 2024-06-15T18:42:36+00:00

Society does not care about male wellbeing, plain and simple.

Double standards everywhere.

JustAnotherBoomer · 2024-06-15T13:54:17+00:00

Nope, neither is being wrongfully accused of rape or domestic violence. This is just the road we are on.

Sensible-advice-101 · 2024-06-15T16:26:42+00:00

Please take care of your mental health with a therapist (they can guide you to find a lawyer too) and seek professional advice from a lawyer after that. You matter and your life matters, take care of yourself even if those around you won’t, that’s how this mess starts to get turned around the way of justice.

You are a human being equal to any other human being with the same rights, no one is above the law. If there wasn’t consent from both parties involved it would was sexual abuse.

mexawarrior · 2024-06-15T19:10:02+00:00

It matters brother. But the moral compass in society doesn't get you a lot of victim attention. It is what it is brother.

Keep your head up.

MaximumTangerine5662 · 2024-06-16T03:27:25+00:00

She's buying real into the concept of sexualizations' of women - the only real difference of that is it more wide-stream in media but not in actuality. Like there is equally as much of a chance as it happening to men as it happens to woman.

It wouldn't change a thing if men had been mass-produced sexualizations' of - Her perception of the situation is not theory-based, and is not rooted in science or actual understanding of literacy.

Just because a lot of guys may have kinks involving not so standard practices like BDSM and that is often represented in media does not mean the same doesn't apply to women, and that they are absolved of any wrong doing due to being a woman.

The law of Rape being defined as penetration often excuses real-life situations, - so basically majority of Rape laws in a lot of countries can only be applied to either woman or afab people which lessens the statistic and makes it virtually impossible to know the real results of it because it can't be generalized at all or even recorded.

Classic_Grapefruit83 · 2024-06-16T06:43:53+00:00

It's very important. Unfortunately, there's a lot of negativity behind men talking about it or having support.

I've heard people say that women can't rape men. They can. No means no - no matter WHO you are.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. It's important. It should be discussed and talked about. You matter. Your feelings matter. Your trauma matters.

reddoghustle · 2024-06-18T03:30:31+00:00

They rape and mutilate our penises shortly after birth and claim “it’s for our own good” (genital mutilation)

Remarkable-Monk1353 · 2024-06-18T20:18:16+00:00

She's a bitch and I'm so glad you broke up with her. You didn't deserve that and your experience matters.

loveallcreatures · 2024-06-15T13:43:59+00:00

It’s marginalized. Men on men rape turning war is rampant.

The_face_of_the_moon · 2024-06-15T14:40:47+00:00

I know that feeling. I was raped by a woman at age 14 (in my country it's not legally classed as rape but I don't give a shit its what jt js) and honestly the amount of female incels who told me I'm making it up was depressing

Neko404 · 2024-06-15T15:22:25+00:00

I fucking swear.... Giant asteroid to destroy the world! Women most affected!

falkenSenf7 · 2024-06-15T23:43:58+00:00

First of all, totally right thing you did there. You got my whole respect, seriously cause I was just harassed by a 30+ dude, when I was 17. Can't imagine how uncomfortable and what pain you went through. I shared the story of mine with some female friends and they all were totally like yeaah weird, whole situation was then kind of odd, like their reaction was totally different than from when one of the girls said something. Idk what's the matter with it, except that it might be some sort of taboo or so called "different thing" because it isn't talked aboht ALL THE TIME in news, in politics, in ideological movements, in feminism. This whole western world and most of it is ruled by the idea that women are the victims and they have to be empowered and seen and everyone else (then men obvs) are the causing problem. So everything that is not implying to that, is not the same, is a what-aboutism or whatever they might call it. Then we go back again to the way of thinking that a man can't be raped etc., so the whole idea of liberation only applies to women. I guess, that might be the cause. But to be honest idk. (for disclosure, I generelized and exaggerated soo yeah).

Substantial_Dig_217 · 2024-06-16T18:26:03+00:00

I’m sorry that this happened to you. Your ex was not entitled to invalidate your feelings. All forms of abuse are different and do not invalidate the others.

Dead_knigh1 · 2024-06-15T14:12:04+00:00

Male grape is actually worse, on the victims mental health. So yeah she’s right in a way lmao

Big_Sprinkles9139 · 2024-06-15T21:48:24+00:00

Yeah. I went to a bar with a woman I was dating, and I got smashed. We went back to my place and she recorded us having fun. Problem is I had mostly blacked out. I was conscious and everything, but had little memories. According to the law, I was forced against my will. And this lady dated hundreds of dudes off of the Internet trying to find a sucker to take care of her. She wanted to move in with me after trying to set me up for a J'acuse. Crazy beach.

Hobbitsliketoparty · 2024-06-15T16:19:56+00:00

My ex-gf literally tried to murder by stabbing me to death. When I told my friends and family, most of them didn't seem to care one bit and I genuinely got the impression they thought that I was over exaggerating. The only person who listened is my best friend, whose ex unfortunately also threatened him with a knife.

DootDootBavoot · 2024-06-16T05:15:58+00:00

bitches dont care abnoujt us

jbbrav0 · 2024-06-17T05:44:20+00:00

They say that “there’s two sides to every story”, and while I believe that can be inaccurate at times, it seems to be glaringly true here. There is so much more here that is being unsaid because it doesn’t fit your narrative.

You say that your ex was nearly raped and that she claims that her experience was worse than yours. Whoever had the “worse” experience I don’t think is entirely relevant. The issue is that no reasonable person here can even make a guess as to who had it worse. We don’t know what your ex’s experience was like. We don’t even know what your experience was like. We don’t know what blackmail material was being hanged over your head. We don’t know what prevented you from going to the police sooner, if you ever did at all. Was your abuser a man? Woman? And what’s the deal with your ex “using her experience as an ‘excuse’ in response to something you did that she didn’t like”? What would you do exactly? How would her near rape experience be relevant at all to your actions? You claim that you would do things that displeased her “very rarely”, which would lead her to use whatever excuse that she said, but then you said “One time I couldn’t take it anymore and exploded at her.”…

You exploded at her for something that occurred “very rarely”? Would her words inflict actual severe psychological damage onto you where even one instance of that was more than enough, or were there issues in the relationship that you were dealing with on a more frequent basis that led you to that boiling point?

I’m not asking all these questions and pointing out all these plot holes just for the fun of it. I used to be in a serious long term relationship. I know what it’s like to have disputes with your partner, to explode, to feel like you’re not being heard or understood. I understand all of that. I also understand that relationship turmoil rarely rarely stems from just one person, while the other person is completely faultless on everything. Relationships are almost always more complicated than that. And I’m betting your case was no exception.

somepowerfulfemboy · 2024-06-17T22:53:59+00:00

I m sorry bro

TaskComfortable6953 · 2024-06-21T01:29:24+00:00

Im glad you broke up with her. Sometimes due to trauma and the vulnerability that comes with trauma some struggle to take that step and set boundaries but in glad you did.

Good job bai

SoldierExcelsior · 2024-06-16T16:24:54+00:00

Did you get pregnant or where you traumatized from the experirnce?

It's generally seen as less serious because guys are generally less negatively effected by sexuall experiences .They cant get pregnant and generally aren't emotionally traumatized by it ..there are caveats to that though..

I just had this conversation.. where I told this lady that it's not the same for guys..most of us have had some less than desirable sexual encounters but A they don't happen that often and B we don't carry life long trauma over busting a nut...

I've been with some rather agressive fat chick's I'd rather forget but I don't think I need therapy or to call the police on them.

With that said 14 is not a guy thats a child ..

Deekifreeki · 2024-06-15T22:20:11+00:00

I can’t even count how many times I was sexually battered/assaulted as a young man ( ~14-24). I was a very good looking young man. I’ve had my ass grabbed dozens of times by women my age at the time or much older, women forcing their tongue in my mouth, grabbing my junk, my ex wife (drunk) got on top of me when I was dead asleep and raped me. No one gives a fuck. Just assumed I “enjoyed” all of this.

minachan158 · 2024-06-15T23:18:11+00:00

I am so sorry that happened to you. How is it not the same? Rape is rape whether the victim is a man or a woman.

DrJagCobra4 · 2024-06-16T02:39:17+00:00

I was either sexually assaulted or harassed (I’m not entirely sure which one) but I’m sorry you went through that. You went through 3 horrible things and she almost went through one and had the nerve to say that it was worse for her. You reacted better than I would have. I may have pulled out My Swiss Army Knife, probably not but I might. If you’re a dude nobody cares, if your a girl everyone cares.

SnooOpinions5944 · 2024-06-16T05:08:08+00:00

Dude nothing as a guy is important I thought the world made it obvious

SoggyHotdish · 2024-06-15T12:06:42+00:00

Honestly I don't know if either of you actually understand

HansDevX · 2024-06-15T14:36:31+00:00

I randomly had my dick grabbed without my consent by a sisters friend and I was ok with it. :)

GenericFatGuy · 2024-06-15T15:09:12+00:00

What happened to you does matter, and it needs to be addressed just as seriously as the other side. But this is something you should've communicated to your partner long before it reached the point where you "exploded". Losing your shit on someone for not being comfortable with something sexually is a REALLY bad look, regardless of the context.

Title	Getting raped as a guy is not important?
Author	NeighborhoodFresh297
Upvotes	1310
Comments	171
Date	June 15, 2024 11:16 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1dgfoze/getting_raped_as_a_guy_is_not_important/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/getting-raped-as-a-guy-is-not-important.1521636 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521636

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