How do I keep from being angry all the time knowing how bad Men's Rights are being stepped on?

Nyeep · 2011-10-13T22:35:06+00:00

Try to raise awareness of the issues. Run campaigns. But make sure that you use proper, cited data from un-bias sources.

Once people become aware of another side of the argument, they can start making up their own minds rather than having their views guided by the feminazis.

dick_psychiatrist · 2011-10-14T05:02:30+00:00

You have to keep in mind that Women's Rights started legitimately because women were being completely screwed over in similar ways.

Now the pendulum has swung in the other direction. And what you see is that tons of people from both sides have legitimate stories of being abused, and sometimes this colors their perceptions so much that they just spend all their time seething with anger.

Yeah, it's not fair. Neither is being the victim of a car accident, which can cause FAR worse trauma which isn't your fault. And you can hate the perpetrator every day for the rest of your life, and you know what you end up with?

Spending your whole life not enjoying your own state of mind.

Best advice is to not take it so personally. She lied, and "they" believe bad things about you, but who cares what they think? You can't control other people's opinions. EVERY celebrity has TONS of haters, often for no reason or for mistaken reasons.

Just treat the custody issue like it's a game. You DON'T have control over the outcome, and when you are grr angry over the unfairness, they mistakenly think: "What a bad angry man!"

Instead, just play it like it's a game and make the best moves you can to win and to make it hard for her to. And then it's up to the roll of the dice. Don't be wrapped up in the outcome, and without that anxiety you'll walk in with a smile and they'll think you're a swell guy, and this will drive HER nuts and then SHE'LL come off like the crazy one.

tl;dr Convince yourself it will all work out, make the best moves you can and don't worry about the things you can't control. You will come off favorably to observers. Spend your mental bandwidth on things you can control, and enjoy being in that headspace.

JustPlainRude · 2011-10-14T01:57:31+00:00

Get a better lawyer.

EvilPundit · 2011-10-14T02:29:35+00:00

I find that spreading the word helps to soothe anger. When you feel you've done something, even though it's small, there is a sense of relief.

In other words, channel your anger into activism and dissipate it there.

AntiFeministMedia · 2011-10-13T23:20:50+00:00

I (mostly) redirect my anger back onto them by uncovering information which shows them in a bad light, and then I publicize it as much as I can.

You've been screwed over, its happened, but change is coming, because its happening to many other men. Try and let other people you know whats gone on, tell the guy's at work, the guys at the pub, warn the young men you meet while out, it doesnt need to be too heavy, just a short sentence, at the moment they aint getting any warning at all. Tell anyone who will listen, whenever you get the opportunity.

But brother, if you've found a new woman who's good to you, dont take it out on her, enjoy your lives together.

Arxl · 2011-10-14T03:44:47+00:00

All of the top advice here seems spot on. But in the end you can still have these feelings of aggression. It is totally normal and the possible solution may seem childish or unnecessary but it works. Get your sweet, strategic revenge. Our minds desire justice and it will eat at you until you see that at least some justice has been done. Now I would report to the state that your ex and her new slave don't have an income and are unfit to keep the kids under any circumstances for the unemployment reasons. Because they are victims in this too. They come first, and taking them from her might be the sweet justice that settles your mind. Not to mention I bet you would be giving them a brighter future.

MrLaughter · 2011-10-14T05:45:26+00:00

kegels

LAMFF · 2011-10-14T13:26:12+00:00

Leave the country. They can't make you pay if you don't live in the USA.

DougDante · 2011-10-14T01:42:22+00:00

treasure your wife. take time every day to do something nice for her.

also, work with other fathers to expose the injustices you see in the system. read the law. you will be amazed what you can learn, even without a legal education.

dermanus · 2011-10-14T01:07:28+00:00

I've found that the best thing for me is learning about female psychology and realizing most of them have no idea what they're doing. It doesn't excuse the behaviour, but it does change your reaction to it.

I find especially with women raised in the grrl-power environment in the West, they've never been exposed to anything that suggests that going after their own interests above anything else can be wrong. If you hear stuff like "you can have whatever you want!" enough times you'll start to believe it.

Whenever I run into the kind of knee-jerk feminism that really pisses me off, I treat the person (man or woman) like a child. You mentioned you have kids. What do you do if your 3 year-old starts into his "why?" phase? Do you patiently answer every single query, or do you understand that it's a way to assert control and redirect it appropriately?

I avoid getting angry by reminding myself that most of the people who act this way aren't doing it maliciously, they're doing it because they've been told they're righteous. The first step is putting doubt into their minds.

tl;dr You don't get angry at a dog for shitting on the rug, you put it outside regularly. Don't get angry at people raised being taught men are evil, make them think about the other side.

railmaniac · 2011-10-14T05:17:15+00:00

Get a calming hobby, like playing a flute or something.

sgrundy · 2011-10-14T10:56:14+00:00

Anger is the only emotion men are allowed to express so you're doing fine :)

aloneinlove · 2011-10-14T12:13:35+00:00

Your presence and continued interest in mens rights issues will be valuable to us. One day we will force change, nothing can stop truth. As long as we continue to do what we believe in, we will have nothing to lose, unlike those feminists who will at the end of their lives die knowing they have been living a lie.

hopeless_case · 2011-10-14T12:32:16+00:00

Realize when your anger wastes your time and energy, it is of no use to you.

Sitting still while someone separates you from your kids and helps themselves to your money is not easy, but for your sake, and the sake of the people who love you, you need to master it.

Read about the life of a man who was messed up a lot worse than what you are going through, and for whom the flame of justice burned so brightly in his soul that he turned his back on any sort of comfortable, calm life and took his life in his hands every day until he was eventually gunned down. He always knew it was coming, he just never knew exactly when. In the meantime, he made every day count. I'm referring to Malcolm X.

Then resolve to make good use of the resources and people around you to live a life of joy as best you can, and set aside only a modest amount of time/effort to make a careful, patient study of how it is that people like your ex can get away with such an injustice. It is only through patient reflection that you can tease apart the workings of soceity in enough detail to see how the various systems of priviledge perpetuates themselves.

old-rickety-porch · 2011-10-14T16:08:39+00:00

I would try to redirect your anger and stress to what others here recommend: raising awareness.

When your kids are grown and they ask you why you "left mom and us", you can point them to relevant articles and blog posts you've written over the years on how your family was treated by the system.

thingsarebad · 2011-10-13T22:52:46+00:00

Realize this is all due to human nature, that we are a flawed species, that nothing really matters, but that it's important to find your purpose in life and work toward it, and enjoy it while it lasts. Also read delusion damage: http://delusiondamage.com/hidden-truths/what-is-it/

Offensive_Brute · 2011-10-13T22:59:07+00:00

watch really disgusting pornography. Nothing makes me feel better than watching a girl drink semen out of another girls butt for money. It really puts things in perspective.

cattypakes · 2011-10-13T23:27:42+00:00

Why should we believe everything about your perfect MY BITCH EX-WIFE story?

Not trolling, just wondering. MRAs seem to love to doubt it when a woman claims she was raped or whatever, so why are we always accepting stories like these without any skepticism whatsoever? There are clearly two sides to every story.

NiceGuysSTFU · 2011-10-13T23:25:10+00:00

Learn how to spell privilege. I doubt very highly that your ex and her husband and three children can live on $1,000/month, so don't say you pay it to "her and her new husband." It's for YOUR kids. If the money is too much of a financial strain, see if you can get it adjusted.

jady1971 · 2011-10-14T07:28:15+00:00

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jady1971 · 2011-10-14T02:22:22+00:00

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jady1971 · 2011-10-13T22:41:07+00:00

Women are mostly harmless if you don't have any kids with them. So, I guess you screwed up old timer. I don't get how it's possible to get into the amount of trouble with women you guys in here obviously do.

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