Stop blaming "toxic masculinity".

YourPillsAintWorkin · 2021-05-30T18:25:06+00:00

“Financial issues”… “intimate partner problems”…

Just say “financial annihilation and parental alienation inflicted by a morally bankrupt family court system”.

Anakins-Legs · 2021-05-30T18:23:12+00:00

These guys are great, I love their stuff

DanteLivra · 2021-05-30T17:20:49+00:00

Yes !

SevereArtisan · 2021-05-30T22:51:22+00:00

It certainly doesn't help that men basically can't express their feelings, frustrations, and vent even somewhat freely for the most part.

They're often told to man up, suck it up, or any other variation thereof. Or told that somebody else has it worse than them. Or it gets used against them. And so on.

Grimmybro · 2021-05-30T20:42:36+00:00

Just got into an argument with someone claiming men Kill themselves cause other men and couldn’t believe it. Just unbelievable

Psychological-Key101 · 2021-05-31T03:36:59+00:00

Toxic masculinity cause us man to advance, move forwards and more productive. If we were to cry society would either laugh or ignore it, so there's no use to cry about it and brag about it. Sure you can cry but crying over minor stuff there's no different between adult man and children. People keep saying toxic masculinity is a bad and terrible things but no that's how we produce, become stronger and mentally stable. Let's say for example like one of our close friend died, we bid our farewell and move on, if we were to use our emotions and show your weakness you'll be weaker too and society too will doubt you and laugh at you. We advance by toxic masculinity not failed by masculinity, what fail us is our own coping mechanism, mind and what society did to us. Don't blame it to toxic masculinity, we man have done our best we and maybe the man who commit crimes mayhaps have fallen somewhere in his mind. But both men and women commit crimes

FatGimp · 2021-05-31T09:34:13+00:00

I was listening to a radio article about the difference between men an women and suicide. Women have a quick decline and will attempt in such a way to get noticed. Men on the other hand have a slow decline and will commonly venture off and do it away from people because of a shame or guilt associated with it. Men are more successful because of that nature.

They then went on to talk about how men need much more support available.

FancyAnteater23 · 2021-05-31T01:05:06+00:00

But of course this won’t get even half the recognition that any feminist Instagram account would.

DEADMEAT15 · 2021-05-30T23:29:01+00:00

I almost joined that 86% and I was laughed at when I came forward about it.

JayMeadows · 2021-05-30T19:41:42+00:00

I've only just started seeking help now that I'm in my mid 30's. Mainly because medication and therapy is expensive without insurance. Been miserable since childhood and nobody really gave a damn, just an assumption that it's a phase or my personality is just a negative one (admittedly I'm an asshole but I still have some compassion.)

I've seen good men get treated like shit by the courts and ex-wives even when they do what they're supposed to do, I've seen good men struggling with depression or mental illness and wandering around aimlessly in the streets, men who still have a shred of decency to not steal or lie to survive. Men who have been given a bad hand in life or made a mistake.

Nobody gives a damn about men.

rbrockway · 2021-05-31T05:26:03+00:00

The term toxic masculinity is itself toxic. If proponents of toxic masculinity really cared about men they wouldn't give it a name like that.

TwinSong · 2021-05-30T19:17:30+00:00

What help? If there is any it's not well signposted and private counseling is eye-wateringly expensive.

TraditionItchy · 2021-05-30T21:07:05+00:00

Charge your phone mate

IDoBeEatingCheese · 2021-05-30T23:22:47+00:00

This is one of the reason why I always listen to everyone and everyone who needs to get things off their chest- Even if it's a complete stranger, just the slightest form of help (a person listening or something) can go a really long way- Edit: This being said, if anyone needs to get things off their chest or something to a complete stranger, dont be afraid to hop into my messages/chats. Always open :v: Another edit: my brain was stuck on discord, thus the :v: (it's a ✌)

charcoalblueaviator · 2021-05-30T20:31:52+00:00

The tag of toxic masculinity is meant to shift the blame over to the men's side, making them wholly responsible for their own ordeals. This is the most blatantly cruel and disgusting outlook that i have ever heard.

Consider the gall to tell a person that they are all suffering because they are prejudiced.

Yessica___ · 2021-05-30T18:41:34+00:00

I’ve never heard someone blame toxic masculinity for mental issues, because if I did I would sure have something to say to them about it. I’ve heard it more in situations where the abuse of power is involved.

What I don’t like is outliers of any race or gender being lumped into the group as a whole. People who exhibit toxic masculinity or toxic femininity have a lot more in common with each other than they do to the rest of the population. They are not the norm.

For a real world example I’ve been in therapy and group therapy consistently over the last 5 years. Out of the hundred or so people that I’ve met, probably 40% were men. But of them only a few were in their 20’s-40’s. Most were over 50. They said the reason they waited so long to get counselling was they were not comfortable admitting they had a problem they couldn’t solve themselves. It’s really sad. But I don’t consider that toxic masculinity it’s just the societal pressures of thinking men don’t need help. That’s wrong and it will change, but probably slowly like every other meaningful societal change.

On a positive note when anyone gets professional help they’re surrounded by people that support them regardless of gender, race or age. All we can hope for is that all people are supportive of anyone that has mental health issues.

Kulovicz1 · 2021-05-30T22:11:42+00:00

I dont want to sound like asshole, but beign straight white male feels like painting large target on your back.

People of colour treated horribly? White men fault. People of different sexuality treated horribly? White men fault. Women treated horribly? Men fault.

Just look at Australia where some organisation took white boy highschool students and told them to apologize to all other students. It happened twice.

Pandemic on top of it and no suprise mental health of many people crumbled. I myself had several breakdowns.

thefonz2311 · 2021-05-30T21:02:34+00:00

....And somehow this sub is black listed as “red pilled”

SamaelET · 2021-05-31T09:08:50+00:00

It is probably thetinmen's best post.

Nice_cock_6900 · 2021-05-31T15:27:55+00:00

normal person: i'm sad asshole: "iDK bro sounds lie toxic masculity

mhandanna · 2021-06-07T18:24:31+00:00

see this: https://www.reddit.com/r/JordanPeterson/comments/nq6o9o/91\_of\_middleaged\_men\_who\_committed\_suicide\_were/WOW. Just wow! Turns out the whole feminist narrative on this was complete bullshit..... this is why I take facts, data, propery analysis over idealogy any day of the weekSome of you may not know but the Guardian hired a feminist in editorial board. After that she decided to ban the comments section on articles about feminism citing fears of "safety" (this by the way is great example of toxic femininty - safetyism and cancel culture: https://areomagazine.com/2021/01/26/social-justice-culture-and-toxic-femininity/)The real reason of course is articles on feminism, were being completely debunked in comments section, well educated people, moderates, and leftists were pointing out the logical flaws, fake stats and contridictions in the comments section.... this couldn't last of course, feminsits didnt like itHere is one:So in your view the success of girls in education is a direct consequence of patriarchal constructions of gender? How then do you explain the changing nature of that success over the past few decades, given that The Patriarchy was presumably just as (if not more) robust thirty years ago than today?You seem reluctant to acknowledge any form of unfairness which does not ultimately have its roots in the exploitation of women by men. That strikes me as unduly simplistic."the use of gendered language is the problem."I know "patriarchy" isn't equal to "men", but it is a masculine (abstract) noun. It's also a catch all category for anything you don't like.Essentially, The Problem = Patriarchy which is semantically / linguistically male, and The Solution = Feminism which is semantically / linguistically female.This, believe it or not, isn't a world view which offers me a great deal of human dignity.If it's 'not a case of women vs men' then 'patriarchy' is a really dumb name for the Great Evil, isn't it? Because claiming that everything bad, even if it's women telling boys they should 'man up', comes from 'patriarchy' (i.e. men) is saying that it is women vs men. The patriarchy oppresses us all, and lots of women are complicit in their oppression by telling their kids that "boys don't cry" etcThen the word 'patriarchy' is misleading, because women are complicit and many women actually profit from the system. Moreover, many women actually have higher status and more power than a lot of men._______as a seperate point, why the hell are feminist trying to jump on the bandwagon on mens issues and feminstsplain masculinty to men? No one wants feminsim to look at mens issues, that is a complete strawman invented by femninists. We want them to but out and let other men and women who are not idealogically possesed do so.https://www.researchgate.net/publication/341832524\_Reactions\_to\_contemporary\_narratives\_about\_masculinity\_A\_pilot\_study"Masculinity is frequently talked about in contemporary Western media as being in crisis, needing reform or even being 'toxic'. However, no research to date has assessed the impact that this pervasive narrative might be having on people, particularly men themselves. This cross-sectional online pilot survey asked 203 men and 52 women (mean + SD age 46 + 13) their opinions about the terms toxic masculinity, traditional masculinity, and positive masculinity, and how they would feel if their gender was seen as the cause of their relationship or job problems. Most participants thought the term toxic masculinity insulting, probably harmful to boys, and unlikely to help men's behaviour. Having feminist views, especially being anti-patriarchy, were correlated with more tolerance of the term toxic masculinity. Most participants said they would be unhappy if their masculinity or femininity were blamed for their work or relationship problems. Further analysis using multiple linear regression found that men's self-esteem was significantly predicted by older age, more education, and a greater acceptance of traditional masculinity. Men's mental positivity-which is known to be negatively correlated with suicidality-was significantly predicted by older age, a greater acceptance of traditional masculinity, and more education. Implications for the mental health of men and boys are discussed in relation to the narrative around masculinity in the media, social sciences, and in clinical psychology."So feminists how about you shut up feministsplaining masculinity to men and check yo privelge as you like to say

ApolluMis · 2021-05-30T19:18:33+00:00

If you don’t follow thetinmen, do.

BlackBoxInquiry · 2021-05-30T23:28:13+00:00

When most men get married, they become a husband, friend and lover.

A good chunk of women become wife, friend, lover, then switch it all out for “mother” and cease to be wives.

Men already have one mother, they don’t need two.

2021-05-30T22:08:06+00:00

Somewhere out there, femimists find this oppressive and toxic towards women

hifi3xx · 2021-05-31T03:45:43+00:00

"Blaming toxic masculinity as a cause of male depression makes you an asshole" They should put this on a T-shirt

killerwolfs2000 · 2021-05-30T19:37:10+00:00

As much as I hate Instagram infographics this is alright

2021-05-30T15:39:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Jepekula · 2021-05-30T19:45:16+00:00

"The current conversation around men's mental health and male suicide is really..."

Can somebody get the rest of the description? I don't got Instagram or anything nowadays.

Leather-Cash-513 · 2021-05-30T20:40:09+00:00

Bro fuck yes. This is my favorite post on the page. Thank you.

shiftyfired1056 · 2021-05-30T23:14:05+00:00

This man spitting major facts.

RoyalRaccoon420 · 2021-05-31T00:24:38+00:00

The Tin Men never misses

MancunianMuffin · 2021-05-31T00:49:05+00:00

"toxic masculinity" is a poor term that describes your lack of understanding. What you may find toxic might not be to someone else. Me an my mates like to get together and take the piss, you overhearing that might be seriously offended and call it toxic. We'd call you a miserable cunt. Lol. Intention is everything.

As for the suicide rate. Women don't really know. If my gender was only responsible for 20% I'd figure we wouldn't have a clue either.

coloradocaniac · 2021-05-31T03:06:50+00:00

The hardest thing about trying to be in the dating world was realizing and learning just how callous women really are.

Every so often I poke around just to say I tried I suppose but it's just meaningless.

purplelightofRED · 2021-05-31T07:01:02+00:00

There is no such thing as toxic masculinity. There is no such thing!! Don't be dumbed down by anyone or anything or platform or social grouping or whatever.

You are a man and you were born that way. Be that way. Provide, protect, bear, hold up and lead.

Jaden_McCown · 2021-05-30T18:41:27+00:00

CyclopeWarrior · 2021-05-30T20:15:20+00:00

Anyone else feeling like "fuck yeaaah" at the last couple of panels there?

blazedagamer · 2021-05-30T23:44:07+00:00

Do they have a more conservative version of this sub?

MahuManeuver · 2021-05-30T23:49:01+00:00

My CrossFit gym owner is always around to listen to people who are having a tough time. CrossFit would be a great replacement for therapists and counselors who are almost all women or male feminists.

asura227 · 2021-05-31T00:50:42+00:00

i dont give a fuck about being 'validated' or 'getting help'. i've yet to see how 'getting help' makes anyone's life better. how about fixing problems and how about instead of getting help we work together and get rid of whats causing the problem in the first place (women lol)

MalloryTheRapper · 2021-05-30T20:58:39+00:00

my understanding on toxic masculinity isnt to blame men themselves, but the culture we’ve created around men and women alike. it is socially acceptable for women to voice their emotions. as for men, not so much. which is why they are less likely to seek help and they have higher suicide rates. I believe normalizing men voicing their emotions to friends, partners (but not JUST partners) and family members, literally just everyday life people is going to lead to lower rates of these things for men. so when people blame toxic masculinity I believe they are blaming the culture we’ve all built, and not men themselves. I really think normalizing healthy emotional expression for men is a huge thing, while doing away with this being a determining factor of what it means to “be a man” and instead just looking at it for what it is, a human experience. I tried to make a point of a better mental health culture and resources for men, but received a lot of push back from other men. but I genuinely believe better emotional and mental health for men will help a ton. because there is a stigma against men having emotions and expressing them in an appropriate manner.

Tall_Professor_8634 · 2021-05-30T19:14:25+00:00

The thing that will stop rape and most of men's problems is here. Counseling, yet feminist don't want it because it makes men less happy

TheDuckFaceDog · 2021-05-31T04:33:07+00:00

Wait what how can it be both 86% job problems and 86% financial issues?

Banning-speedrunner · 2021-05-31T17:46:53+00:00

This

COOLSKELETON100 · 2021-06-01T18:51:33+00:00

Be talkin straight facts

echino_derm · 2021-05-30T20:11:32+00:00

Pretty sure this is still just explaining toxic masculinity. The idea that men don't need to be validated and that they need to be able to handle these issues on their own are pretty big parts of toxic masculinity.

Korruqt · 2021-05-30T20:50:19+00:00

I half expected this to be a feminist post XD

prakritikhu · 2021-05-30T20:06:07+00:00

I think the fact you're labelling it as 'toxic masculinity' explains how little you understand it

Dangerous_Ad7552 · 2021-05-30T21:33:04+00:00

253% of suicides is a lot

Hansjg05 · 2021-05-30T15:50:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Stop blaming "toxic masculinity".
Author	No-Perspective5346
Upvotes	2343
Comments	183
Date	May 30, 2021 3:15 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/nod9cf/stop_blaming_toxic_masculinity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/stop-blaming-toxic-masculinity.827227 https://theredarchive.com/post/827227

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