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[–]BruceCampbell123 365 points366 points367 points 8 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link
I'm confused and I got heavily down-voted on r/entertainment when I ask this question: If Crews were a woman, wouldn't this considered 'victim blaming'?
[–][deleted] 150 points151 points152 points 8 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
It would be considered victim blaming if it was a woman, as it should be. And it’s being considered victim blaming in this case of Cresw, a man, as it should be.
I think the valuable point Crews is trying to make is that not only are men not exempt from being victims of sexual assault but also male victims are not exempt from the bullshit, victim-blaming rape apology that is so prevalent in our society.
[–]BruceCampbell123 32 points33 points34 points 8 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
And it’s being considered victim blaming in this case of Crews
Where is this being done? I'm not doubting you, I'm just not seeing that.
[–][deleted] 34 points35 points36 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I mean, first of all I'm pretty sure "this is victim blaming" is quite literally the point Crews is making in his tweet. and anyway I don't know what it would take to convince you. This very same OP pic has been posted all over Reddit and hit /all on BlackPeopleTwitter in this topic where the top comment at 10k upvotes says
It does. What's crazy this proves that both men and women sexual assault victims hear the same questions.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/8utk5p/people_are_not_giving_terry_the_credit_he_deserves/ I really respect Terry Crews for choosing to be vocal about his experience with sexual assault. I of course wish this had never happened to him, but a part of me is sort of happy that this is a pretty mainstream story that's being used to openly talk about sexual assault against men and all the issues surrounding that. and Crews is being really open and honest about all the nuances surrounding it, especially re: him being a "masculine black guy" and all.
[–]BruceCampbell123 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean, first of all I'm pretty sure "this is victim blaming" is quite literally the point Crews is making in his tweet.
I mean, first of all I'm pretty sure "this is victim blaming" is
quite literally
the point Crews is making in his tweet.
Ah, I misunderstood you then. I see what you're saying.
[–]Aracnida 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean that was pretty convincing to me...
[–]deville05 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Why is asking questions the same as blaming someone
[–]Stripes1974 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It generally isn't- but that's what asking questions of female rape/sexual assault victims is being called.
[–]antilopes 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You don't know what you are talking about. It is exactly as harmful to ask those sort of questions of male victims.
It would not be at all surprising if male and female victims had different typical response patterns to sexual assault but my observation is they are remarkably similar.
[–]Stripes1974 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're not reading things properly. I was answering the question by deville05-- which was "why is asking questions the same as blaming someone?". I didn't say anything about a difference between asking questions of female victims and male victims. I was saying that when someone asks those questions of female victims, then it's called victim-blaming.
In all truth, I agree with you- there is no distinction between male victims and female victims- victims are victims- and if it is true of female victims (that asking questions is supposed to be victim-blaming), then it is also true of male victims.
[–]antilopes 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because you are implying those questions are relevant to you as a bystander. They are relevant to a detective, rape counselor, therapist etc, but not to the great majority of people who ask those "questions". "What were you wearing" is not a neutral question.
What rape victims have been saying for decades, tens of thousands of times, is that Just Asking Questions is harmful, whether it is done out of malice, professional incompetence or a combination of pig-ignorance and idle curiosity. I say pig-ignorance because it is not hard to find an introductory page on how to support rape victims. You can learn a lot in half an hour, and why wouldn't you make that minimal effort for a friend or family member? Yet people often don't they just blunder in. If it isn't someone close to you then you probably should not be discussing their rape in the first place. (Their alleged rape. The most important thing for you to remember about that is your detective skills have not been called for and your curiosity is not important).
The quick answer to your question is that victims of any kind of trauma are prone to develop crushing guilt. They may be able to see their guilt is illogical or grossly disproportionate, or maybe not. Either way guilt is an emotion, it is not subject to logic and it is common for friends and family to cause great distress to victims by thoughtless questions.
Obviously innocent trauma victims suffer survivor guilt etc, but it is so much worse when the picture is not that clear. He made a funny joke and she laughed at it. Her friend had to leave but she declined to leave early with them.
[–]Me_ADC_Me_SMASH 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
they hear the same questions, but would they give the same answers?
[–]enjoycarrots 9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
male victims are not exempt from the bullshit, victim-blaming rape apology that is so prevalent in our society.
More than simply not exempt, it is socially acceptable and very common to victim blame and deny male victims.
[–]Igot2phonez 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not to make this a competition, but victim blaming men is even more common.
[–]enjoycarrots 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It is indeed. Common and often celebrated, which was more or less my point, but I didn't state it strongly enough.
[–]Robfu 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No because Terry crews has a penis
/s
[–]ThirdTurnip 10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I got heavily down-voted
Link please?
I couldn't find it in either your post history or with google.
www.google.com/search?q=BruceCampbell123+reddit+r/entertainment+terry+crews
[–]mkrmec -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Since people like to fake shit, to fuck people over (I'm not saying this is one of those cases), I'd say, there's no victim until the courts deal with this case and make a judgment. Only them the victim is known. Making people into victims before the whole situation is known is irresponsible!!
But that doesn't happen. In the real world courts are almost never involved in sexual assaults.
About one percent of rapes end up as convictions, depending what you count as "rape". Depending on jurisdiction it is about two or three percent of rapes reported to police.
So what you are saying is that the vast majority of rapes should not be talked about ever.
[–]mkrmec 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No I'm not saying that. I'm saying these things should be solved by the courts and not SJWs on the internet, spreading possibly fake information, riling people up. People then go and harass the alleged rapist (or whatever) and destroy their lives by doxing, death threats to them and family, getting them fired etc. Many times the alleged rapist (or whatever) was falsly accused, they have their lives destroyed just by being accused. Many times the alleged victims don't even get punished for falsly reporting rape or other things, if they are women.
The courts ATM aren't to be trusted, that also a big problem. Bias against men is high in the courts system. Integrity is very low these days.
[+]deville05 -7 points-6 points-5 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I don't see him as a victim and I don't see asking questions to be the same as blaming... People are curious and trying to work out this whole thing in their heads and trying to wrap it around their idea of live and everything and so they ask questions.
[–]XDcraftsman 8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
How is he not a victim? He literally was sexually assaulted.
[+]deville05 -9 points-8 points-7 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I don't know man.. victim means something serious in my head where you can't do anything.. I can't attach a buttgrab to that word. I also think being a victim is a mindset and imo Terry is not a victim by those standards. Something shitty happened to him and he couldn't do anything about it cuz he just didn't want to. That's not a victim. I do think everything else that happened to him like public scrutiny and being fired from this n that and harassment n all that... That he is definitely a victim of. But I don't think he thinks of himself as a victim either.
[–]XDcraftsman 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It wasn’t a buttgrab, he literally walked up to him and grabbed his junk. Twice. Not even “jokingly,” as a power move. I get what you’re saying by not being a “victim” in the connotational sense, but you sound like you’re saying he’s not a “real” victim, either by his gender or strength or something else, and even though you’re probably not saying that that is how it comes off to lots of ppl
[–]deville05 -4 points-3 points-2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fair enough. I don't mean to say that what happened to him was nothing. I guess that's what you are saying that people think... Well that's not what I am saying. Terry is a big man. Of he wanted to not let anything happen to him or wanted to show his power.. he could have .. but he made the choice not to because of his reasons..And wise reasons I would say. It's different for men you know.. men are genetically built to have bigger muscles and to use them. To not use them when you can is very unnatural instinct that most men and women can't understand. So I understand why this whole thing is making news and why some men are blaming him for not doing anything. Changing minds takes time. Look if that guy was grabbing some woman's tit or ass and there were men around. You and society would expect the men to use their manliness to defend the woman. No one would question why or why they didn't.. that's just how we are wired and have been doing things. But society has changed a lot very quickly and our instincts can only playing catch up
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
...victim means something serious in my head where you can't do anything...
But that's not what the word means, though.
I get what you're saying, I really do. But that's not what the word means. A victim is the recipient of a harmful act. You can be the victim of a robbery. The victim of a scam. The victim of a murder.
I've seen a similar thing with the word "abuse". I've heard people talk about their own childhood, saying things like: "Yeah, my mother would hit me when I was being a brat, but I don't see it as child abuse, she would just smack me once or twice and then I would stop misbehaving." Guess what, that's abuse. Any form of violence is abuse. You're the victim of child abuse.
People have this idea in their heads that words like "victim" or "abuse" mean something tragic, and they refuse to apply them to situations where they meet the criteria of the definition, simply because they don't feel the supposed emotional impact they think it carries.
[–]Knotar3 177 points178 points179 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The poor man does everything that he is supposed to do in his situation and is mocked by people for doing so.
[–]Tedesche 66 points67 points68 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No calls for his assaulter to be fired, I noticed. Male victims get deafening silence from the "woke" public.
[–]LilGreenCorvette 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sigh so true Tunnel vision of society
[–]HorusEyeDrops 80 points81 points82 points 8 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
I watched his senate hearing. He changed my mind of "toxic masculinity." He said in the cult of masculinity, were expected to control the world, and to never be caught losing. He said hear things in better words, but he said those were the reasons why you get some suicides, silence on male victims, and strange behaviors.
Tho, there's pros and cons to everything. I'm staying in the cult of American masculinity bc of he perceived pros, but I'll keep Terry's warnings in mind. The media spent a 1,000 articles saying what terry said in ten minutes.
[–]normynormjig 33 points34 points35 points 8 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
My problem with the concept of "toxic masculinity" is that it seems used too broadly in everyday context and in the internet to describe some normal manifestation of being a men...
I looked up the definition and it seems like the root of all evil:
certain norms of masculine behavior in North America and Europe that are associated with harm to society and to men themselves. Traditional stereotypes of men as socially dominant, along with related traits such as misoginy and homophobia can be considered "toxic" due to their promotion of violence, including sexual assault and domestic violence. Scholars argue that the socialization of boys often normalizes violence, such as in the saying "boys will be boys" with regard to bullying and aggression. Self-reliance and emotional repression are correlated with increased psychological problems in men such as depression), increased stress), and substance abuse. Toxic masculine traits are characteristic of the unspoken code of behavior among men in American prisons,
certain norms of masculine behavior in North America and Europe that are associated with harm to society and to men themselves.
Traditional stereotypes of men as socially dominant, along with related traits such as misoginy and homophobia can be considered "toxic" due to their promotion of violence, including sexual assault and domestic violence.
Scholars argue that the socialization of boys often normalizes violence, such as in the saying "boys will be boys" with regard to bullying and aggression.
Self-reliance and emotional repression are correlated with increased psychological problems in men such as depression), increased stress), and substance abuse.
Toxic masculine traits are characteristic of the unspoken code of behavior among men in American prisons,
Looks like an easy way to blame men instead of trying to really understand other factors that might contribute to the problems that are associated with that concept. But I might be wrong..
[–]HorusEyeDrops 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No I agree. I think there's tens of cultures of how boys are socialized. From Chivalry, to heroism, to statesmen, to hood traditions of behaviors, I think... all with hundreds of pros and cons probably..
Funny.. Odysseus, a male hero from long ago, in the Odyssey, wept to see his long lost friends, protected the weak, believed in himself, and loved in inevitable fatalism, and the gods will.. I love everything about the masculinity of that man.
Maybe the media is arguing against cartoonized male behavior, seen exaggerated in media lol?
Yeah.. I'll just keep going my own way. Fuck what the media thinks. As long as they don't try to socially engineer my kids, I don't mind the screamingz
[–]Keenin455 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not only that, it was Athena, a GODDESS, who encouraged his son along in his quest to learn about his father's wherabouts.
That story has men AND women equally moving the plot along and playing a part in the journey.
[–]Dancing_Anatolia 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I never got how "homophobia" is supposed to be a measure of masculinity. I mean, gay men are sort of the epitome of masculinity; they don't factor in women at all.
[–]XenoX101 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There is toxic masculinity but masculinity in itself isn't toxic, unfortunately it is hard to make that distinction when the two words are joined in this way. There are already many definitions online that define toxic masculinity not just as simply the criticism of men sharing their feelings, but of "boysterousness" and "competitiveness" in general. This will do more harm than good.
So my view is we condemn the excessive machismo that is harmful, while also condemning catch-all terms such as toxic masculinity. Masculinity isn't toxic, only small extreme facets of it are.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The phenomenon itself is real, and everyone acknowledges it. MRAs simply disagree with the term to describe it.
Since, as you mention, so many men are killing themselves, the last thing we want is to cultivate a culture of self-hatred for men.
Toxic masculinity tells boys and men that parts of them, parts of their identity, of their self, are toxic. That's not good.
Just call it something else. Call it "society's toxic expectations from men". Not "toxic masculinity". After all, it's not masculinity itself that is toxic. It's certain things that people consider to be masculine, like suffering in silence. In other time periods and cultures, men were expected to express their emotions. They were poets and troubadours and artists. Today, all of those things are considered feminine or "gay". So, it's not masculinity that is the problem, but society's perceptions and expectations.
Call those toxic.
[–]Glochidiate 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There are definitely bad parts to both masculinity and femininity. It would be silly to deny this.
Unfortunately, the term "toxic masculinity" is almost exclusively used by people who want to use the idea as a tool to control others. Also it's so nebulous and loosely defined that it is used to mean "anything that conflicts with feminism"
[–]SmashingEmeraldz 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If toxic masculinity was a thing then boys without a father would not be toxic. But instead it makes them more violent and more likely to break the law. That shows that masculinity is a good thing in that many boys need in their lives.
[–]Tappanoff 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Young boys will model any male person they have available. If the only thing they have are the violent, hyper-macho, physically controlling and abusive, homophobic stoics they see on TV, that's what they'll model. Toxic masculinity isn't just something that's passed from father to son, it exists in society on the whole.
[–]deville05 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Toxic masculinity is a feminist term.. and I reject that as a man because feminists don't know what the fuck they are talking about. They don't know anything about men or care to know so I don't want to hear about anything related to masculinity of any kind from them. Besides, it still a very simplistic term that could mean anything. For me masculinity can be summarized in words but it's still a very complex thing when you are living through it. For example...Terry's View point doesn't apply to me or relate to me. I don't feel the need to control everything.. I did when I was younger but that was more insecurity. I would say that insecurity is the opposite of masculinity but that doesn't mean tha males can't be insecure. In some way masculity is all about overcoming your insecurity and fear and going against the grain if need be. What Terry is doing now I would say is pretty masculine.
[–]odel555q 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Terry Crews is a feminist - he blatantly said that he thinks women are smarter than men.
[–]Karma9999 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's his opinion and he's entitled to it, doesn't mean the rest of us have to agree with him. Doesn't affect the process he's going through though, hope some good comes out of all this.
[–]deville05 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men think they are feminists... But they really are just virtue signalling. Besides.. what do you do that is feminist?.. you only believe in some shit.. but so what... beliefs don't make anything happen. if you are really helping women and their cause. ..Like that's a lifestyle of yours then I can agree that yr a feminist...But other than that.. you are just living your life and being a good human being.
[–]azazelcrowley 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Toxic Masculinity is actually originated in the mythopoetic mens movement, one of the original splinters that died out shortly after the MRM was founded (You know that "Feminine divine" crap? Like that. Woowoo and masculine spiritualism, but with some good points.). It refereed to any masculinity not based on male solidarity, brotherhood, male-only hobby groups, fatherhood, and so on, and asserted that the destruction of male spaces had turned masculinity toxic, individualist, and put men in conflict with eachother in order to serve the state and womens interests. It is directly contrasted with "deep" masculinity as the positive form of it (Deep as in it involves connections to other masculine persons, rather than a shallow version of masculinity that results from lack of male solidarity, lack of father figures, lack of male spaces, etc.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mythopoetic_men%27s_movement
Feminists merely appropriated the term and started using it to describe something else entirely, the same thing they did with rape culture. (Originally used to describe prisons and rape there.). It's another one of their active efforts to make discussion of mens issues impossible by denying us the ability to communicate our discourse effectively, and another instance where you can see clear malice and intent from their movements behaviors. These two terms aren't the only examples of them stealing our terminology and misusing it to make our discussions impossible.
As originally described and constructed, toxic masculinity was a decidedly anti-feminist thing that described the masculinity feminism was fostering as toxic. They never, ever, acknowledge this, because the entire point of them adopting the term was to rob us of the ability to discuss our problems. They do it constantly. It's a tried and tested Orwellian means to abuse a population when you have the institutional power and influence to make your usage of the term more well known and constantly act that way.
As originally constructed, it would be an apt observation of society and the consequences of widespread fatherlessness, the destruction of male spaces, and so on, and directly suggests the remedy rather than just going "You're toxic" and leaving it at that. The remedy being, more male solidarity (Something feminists would actively deny, despise, and claim is misogynist), more male spaces, more father figures, etc.
This also means when feminists arrogantly tell you you don't know what toxic masculinity means, they're merely demonstrating they're the type of people with only one book on their bookshelf and completely ignorant of reality, history, and other movements and ideologies. You should correct them and point this out when they do, and point out their feminist peers were likewise arrogantly ignorant and abusive when they tried this shit, which is why this one didn't know any better, or indeed, know anything at all.
[+]parmdaddy1 points 8 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I never believed in toxic masculinity when women explained it, but I believe in it now that a big, burly man explained it
That's what I'm hearing from you in this post. Maybe sit and reflect on that for a while.
[–]HorusEyeDrops 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Project onto me if you like. I meant to say, I don't believe any campaigns by the media, as Noam Chomskey said, it's been monopolized by the 1%. The media acts under a predictable propaganda model. It's a bitch to advertiser, and the government, but mainly its owners. 6 corporations own most of the US media platforms, I mean Netflix, Hollywood, tv, it's been monopolized.
Terry gave solid authentic anecdotes, while the media creates scarecrows and saturated articles with their agenda.
[–]HiredMind 44 points45 points46 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
There are thousands of people out there who only half-heard a story mentioning "Terry Crews" and "sexual assault" who now believe Terry Crews is a rapist.
Thanks a lot, #MeToo
[–]parmdaddy 13 points14 points15 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao nobody believes that
[–]sneakysnake128 16 points17 points18 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Reminds me of Jordan Peterson's talk on how men are powerless against crazy women because the universally understood means of physical altercation as a way to bring civility back to a dispute don't apply when you can't exercise physical altercation at all.
[–]PabloAsscrowbar 15 points16 points17 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Beat him up? And get slapped with a felony? People always assume men could easily beat up someone to protect themselves. Apparently they never heard of jails
[–]goodmod[M] 18 points19 points20 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The title of your post does not say enough about its subject. This forces people to click and read before they can decide whether they are interested. It also makes searching impossible.
If everyone did this, the subreddit would become unusable.
So please don't do it. Take the time to describe your link, and save the time of hundreds of other people.
When making a title, it's best to assume the reader doesn't know what you're talking about - but don't go overboard with every detail. Then check if there are any words you can cut out without losing any important information.
[–]Polrawr 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
would you like me to change it?
[–]Rktdebil 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Even mods can't change titles on Reddit.
[–]belly_bell 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I disagree, especially given the which sub this is in and the social context surrounding Terry Crews, I knew exactly what I was getting into when I clicked it.
[+]KamiNoTsurugi1 points 8 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
I'm ootl. What's up here?
[–]Dr_Dornon 47 points48 points49 points 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Terry Crews came forward with his story about being sexually assaulted by a Hollywood big wig. He even got let go from the upcoming Expendables movies because he wouldn't retract this.
Celebs like 50 Cent made a couple Instagram posts making fun of Terry Crews and basically calling him a pussy for coming forward and talking about what happened to him and people like Russel Simmons commented on the posts also making fun of Crews. It's disgusting how some people are treating him.
He tweeted this the morning basically saying that he is being blamed for what happened.
[–]MezzaCorux 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He is stronger than most for standing up for himself and not letting greed or other people’s judgments keep him down. He deserves better.
[+]Argosy37 -9 points-8 points-7 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I think Terry Crews is some actor? I’m not sure. Similarly out of the loop.
[–]scruffehh 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Why did this get down voted lol. Seemed like an actual question to me.
[–]Argosy37 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No idea. I'm not familiar with the guy, but apparently he must be someone who everybody but me knows about.
[–]Facky 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Terry Alan Crews (born July 30, 1968) is an American actor, artist, activist and former American football player. Crews played Julius Rock on the UPN/CW sitcom Everybody Hates Chris and Nick Kingston-Persons in the TBS sitcom Are We There Yet?. He has also hosted the game show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and starred in the BET reality series The Family Crews. He has appeared in films such as White Chicks, Idiocracy, The Longest Yard, and the Expendables series. Since 2013, he has played NYPD Sergeant Terry Jeffords in the sitcom Brooklyn Nine-Nine." Copy-pasted from Wikipedia
Also has a subreddit, r/CrewsCrew/
[–]azazelcrowley 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He deserves credit but it's notable that the one instance of representation the media is allowing in order to pretend it's balanced is a male perpetrator. There's a total lack of coverage and discussion over female perpetrators, so you can't exactly act like male victims are being served here, only those of them who fit societies fucked up misandrist agenda are being partially acknowledged and given lip service. The rest don't even get that.
Crews is also blaming masculinity for it, he may have some points there given it was a male perpetrator, but he's acting like men get sexually assaulted because of toxic masculinity and that's simply not true. Most male victims of this are victims of female perpetrators.
[–]Tappanoff -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There is lack of coverage of female perpetrators, but admitting that invalidates your statement that most men are victims of female perpetrators. The truth is, no one really knows; reports of sexual assault against men are very rare (part of the reason this story is getting so much coverage). However, from the data we do have, we know that the overwhelming majority of sexual abuse is committed by men and the overwhelming majority of verbal and emotional abuse is committed by women. So while there isn't complete data on who is committing sexual assault against men, the evidence suggests that it's very likely other men, not that it's impossible for women to commit sexual assault against men.
But that brings us to why sexual assault against men is underreported, and one theory is toxic masculinity. If it's true men believe they must affirm their masculinity through sexual domination (toxic masculinity), we would expect men to be more likely of committing sexual assault (data says this is true). If it's true that men are terrified of emasculation (toxic masculinity) and tie sexual domination to masculinity and sexual submission to femininity (as established earlier), then we would expect there would be few reports by men of being physically dominated in some way (by other men or especially by women). Therefore, the evidence supports toxic masculinity being a contributing factor both where a man sexually abuses another man and for the abused to feel constrained from coming forward with this information. Again, this doesn't certainly mean that this is true, just that the evidence supports the theory.
[–]littlefilms 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
This just shows people view women as inherently weak and vulnerable who need protection, but men are big and strong right?
[–]NecroHexr 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
And so what if it does? Some women are strong, but more importantly, men can be weak too. This stupid "strong is good!" bullshit is really hurting this argument. No, strong isn't always good. Not all men want to brawl, not all men want to do sports, sometimes, we would like to be able to sit down and weep.
In fact, men have a big history of mental issues and obviously they die from suicides much more. This is the result of imposing the fact that men should be strong. So, long story short, women whining about being seen as weak isn't seeing the fact that men being seen as strong is equally hurting us too.
[–]littlefilms 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's my point, I thought I was being clear. You hear some sjw go on about men and women being seen as equals, but when it comes to issues like this, they have no problem falling back on gender stereotypes. They assume all women are victims whilst at the same time promoting the idea all women are strong and independent. The fact they can't fathom the idea of men being victim shamed is actually them giving the power they always complain about, to men, since they are choosing to continuingly and inherently see men as strong and powerful, to the extent they cannot be victims, which is pretty sexist.
[–]NecroHexr 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dang, should've added a /s at the end.
[–]R_Discussion 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wtf ? , When did this happen
[–]samthejarvis 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can't believe the judge could be this dim. While Terry may not have said it, you can't antagonise your agent at that early stage. Agents hold the keys to your career and they know that.
[+]lostapwbm -33 points-32 points-31 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Why didn't you tell the police? I did.
Which could mean one of two things:
Terry Crews is full of shit and the cops made the right call.
Adam Venit actually grabbed his nuts and fingered his dirt pipe and the cops just waved him off.
What pushes me in the direction of number 1 is Crews' response of 'men need to be less (toxically)masculine and embrace feminism so that big, strapping Hollywood lads like me don't get our nuts and asshole diddled in the future.'
Feminism is not the answer to anything. Any man espousing feminist theory is full of shit.
[–]Polrawr 26 points27 points28 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Did he actually say any of that or is this just one HUGE assumption
[–]auMatech 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
maybe it was this: link
also, i find it amusing he calls masculinity a cult, but doesn't seem to realize that feminism is as much, if not even more of a cult..
[–]lostapwbm -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Did he actually say any of that?
Yes. In his Senate testimony a couple of days ago and at the White Ribbon Campaign meeting he attended.
[+]raskolnikov1337 -9 points-8 points-7 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
For real though why didn’t he just beat him up? Sigh is not a good enough answer to this very fair question.
[–]burdizthewurd 13 points14 points15 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because assault is a crime far easier to prove than sexual harassment. The fact that this is even a question is the problem with this situation.
[–]epelle9 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He could have, and then he would have gone to jail..
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That's what I'm hearing from you in this post. Maybe sit and reflect on that for a while.
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I'm ootl. What's up here?
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