why does alimony exist?

opgrop · 2013-03-06T06:56:04+00:00

Marriages from when those laws were written were a lot different than today. The partnership was generally the man took care of all breadwinning and the woman took care of all domestic duties. The woman would make breakfast, lunch, and dinner, take care of the kids on all fronts, and do all of the household cleaning. She'd pack up and move on a whim if the husband's job depended on it and never really worked more than part time.

Now say that partnership went on like that for 10 or 20 years. A lot of the man's success at work was probably due to the support he received at home. And because of his wife's willingness to play her role for those 10 or 20 years, she never really developed a career of her own or any marketable skills outside of the house.

Say the husband is in the prime of his career (partly due to the support he received at home all those years) and he decides he wants to leave his wife for someone new. The husband's would reap all of the benefits of his wife's support over the years, while the wife would have no way to make income for herself.

In comes alimony.

Of course, the typical marriage is much different today...

Nerdloc · 2013-03-06T04:23:22+00:00

Traditionally, alimony was paid exclusively by men, but there's been a gradual shift away from that ever since WWII. It's still paid predominately by men though.

The justification used in most courts for forcing someone to pay it is that a spouse can become "accustomed to the lifestyle lived during the civil union or marriage" and is apparently entitled to live that lifestyle even after the marriage is dissolved.

Here's an interesting piece the WSJ published on it.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703399204574505700448957522.html

AnnArchist · 2013-03-06T04:06:52+00:00

Because women are delicate flowers who are strong and able to support themselves. Unless they get divorced. Then they need a hooker pension plan.

themountaingoat · 2013-03-06T03:59:21+00:00

Because women should be able to get a divorce without suffering any costs whatsoever.

Chris Rock has a stand up comedy bit on this issue.

shadowbanned6 · 2013-03-06T08:23:20+00:00

I always thought so too. Divorce is an end to marriage, a separation.

But in reality, divorce means:

all the woman's obligations end

The man's obligations continue, even stronger. Because now he has to support 2 households, being that the woman's household has to have the same status it had before

His own household can lapse into poverty. His future second wife may be liable to participate in payment to his first wife

If he is an athlete or artist whose income decreases, that is grounds for imprisonment

He has no right ever to drop out of working, or else he gets arrested. Pure live long slavery

Are we in the 17th century?

ANALGAPE · 2013-03-06T13:59:05+00:00

The real question is, why should men get married?

chocoboat · 2013-03-06T14:20:29+00:00

Alimony should exist - in certain rare situations. It is severely overused right now.

But let's say a wealthy man falls in love with a woman and they get married and have children. He wants her to be a full time housewife and mother, something that she wants as well. Everyone benefits from this arrangement, especially the children who get lots of quality time with their parents.

25 years later the children are grown and on their own, and sadly the couple has grown apart. They eventually decide it's best to get a divorce.

You cannot tell me that it's fair for the woman to be put out on the street with no money of her own, no job, no employability other than minimum wage jobs. The man agreed to the arrangement where she's a full time mother, and he is responsible at some level for continuing to support her. It is a completely warranted situation. And it can work both ways (rich wife, house-husband).

But now? You have two working parents who put in equal efforts to keep the house and raise the children... and judges are still willing to award alimony, just because it's been the custom for a long time. Fortunately this is slowly changing though.

Always_Doubtful · 2013-03-06T04:15:26+00:00

Alimony was a good thing for women..... decades ago when women didn't actually work. Now its just money so she can sit on her ass all day doing absolutely fuck all.

rightsbot · 2013-03-06T03:56:24+00:00

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Roddy0608 · 2013-03-06T15:17:53+00:00

Bill Burr.

dungone · 2013-03-06T17:57:57+00:00

Wikipedia can answer that:

Alimony pendente lite was given until the divorce decree, based on the husband's duty to support the wife during a marriage that still continued. Post-divorce or permanent alimony was also based on the notion that the marriage continued, as ecclesiastical courts could only award a divorce a mensa et thora, similar to a legal separation today. As divorce did not end the marriage, the husband's duty to support his wife remained intact http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alimony

So, alimony existed because the marriage wasn't technically over. Alimony was a husband's duty in return for having control over all of the property and income, including income that she herself brought in from jobs that she was only allowed to hold at his discretion. See a related concept, called coverture.

The problem is that as coverture was abandoned and divorce laws loosened up, alimony remained as if nothing else had changed and people made up creative, chivalrous excuses for why it should stay that way. I think that it generally follows the theme of the women's rights movement in that equality is good if it favors women, but bad if it favors men.

Grapeban · 2013-03-06T08:12:15+00:00

There are various reasons for it, the one I like is that it prevents financial abuse of a financially dependant partner (so if one person controls all the money, they can't hit their spouse and say, "What are you gonna do about it, if you leave, I'll keep all our money!")

Title	why does alimony exist?
Author	gdog799
Upvotes	39
Comments	74
Date	March 6, 2013 3:37 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/19r54c/why-does-alimony-exist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-does-alimony-exist.1607587 https://theredarchive.com/post/1607587

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