Why Don’t Men Support Each Other More?

FappingFop · 2023-11-27T00:32:41+00:00

It seems like there may be a biological reason for it, studies show women have a strong in-group bias which men lack. IMO, a gender in-group bias doesn’t make much sense because I try to see people as individuals, not their gender. But the result of this imbalance is men constantly face an uphill battle on gender issues because it is more difficult to get men to group together. Honestly we sort of suffer from thinking critically about issues instead of banding together.

FixDifficult752 · 2023-11-27T01:25:58+00:00

Because there will ALWAYS be a simp or a traitor in the group, who in a moments notice will gladly betray the whole group for a cheap piece of meat.Add to this that there is always a higherarchy and the threat of violence is always near.What we should really be doing is collectively join forces and any mf who is traitor or initiates conflict,well... appropiate measures will be taken.Thats the real mf truth.Traitors and simps will be outcast and will fend for themselves.

Buckowski66 · 2023-11-27T01:40:42+00:00

Pussy. That’s why and the idea that competing for it or white knighting for it is a good idea. Vagina turns many men into Judas but karma AKA divorce court often gets them in the end.

Illustrious_Bus9486 · 2023-11-27T01:42:31+00:00

2.5 million years of hominid evolution has made men both work together and compete with other men. It is the circumstances that dictate which will occur.

terrorist_giraffe · 2023-11-27T02:00:16+00:00

I suspect it's for the same reason the general population isn't more supportive - we're taught that men need to be tough and strong and deal with their own problems. While I think there are a lot of ways that this mindset is beneficial, there are also downsides, including being less likely to offer support either to men individually or to as a group.

IndifferentImp · 2023-11-27T10:05:57+00:00

A lot of people are saying good reasons here but one I haven't seen is that it's not very socially acceptable to support men as a man. It makes people angry when the "oppressors" help each other.

Chama-HUH · 2023-11-26T23:18:35+00:00

Men don’t like men. Men are in competition with each other.

Biervat2 · 2023-11-27T00:38:34+00:00

the old system of mentoring young guys is gone in cities, this used to go through church, military or local communities. Besides that, people arent sure what a man is anymore and how men and women should behave. and we certainly dont need eachother anymore to keep warm or have food on the table.

Drougent · 2023-11-27T01:04:07+00:00

I think they do and in some cases, better than women.

I'm part of a gun camo spray painting group on Facebook and a guy had gotten drunk and was posting about how he just broke up, etc. everyone was trying to convince him to spray paint his gun (like they do with everyone) and he spray painted a heart on the back of his glock.

Everyone was being extremely caring, friendly, compassionate, etc. one guy even said he wish he had the money to pay for a two way ticket so they could kick it. Another guy photoshopped the heart out of the picture and said he was going to make stickers of it.

I was honestly shocked at how amazing everyone was being for this guy, but it made me realize men are definitely able to empathize with one another, especially when there's a common interest that we all share.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2023-11-27T05:12:44+00:00

I don't know but I wish we would.

elebrin · 2023-11-27T13:04:27+00:00

I do as much as I can, but I feel like what I can do is very limited.

I've made all kinds of very genuine offers to my male friends, male inlaws, male cousins, and so on who have been down on hard times. I've offered homecooked meals, a bed if their heat is out in the winter, I've given more referrals for work than I can count. Ultimately, though, I am one person.

barkmagician · 2023-11-27T00:28:03+00:00

We kind of do actually (in a way). And its one of the few reasons why male athletes earn more than female athletes.

1 example - Men spend tickets/payperview on men's sports. Im not a big fan of basketball but I can name 5 nba players. While most women cant even name at least 3 wnba players without having to open google.

RedcloudGeorge · 2023-11-27T10:39:32+00:00

Part of it is deliberately socializing men to feel uncomfortable if they get too close to each other. Left to their own devices, men would tend to be drawn together and derive emotional connection and support from each other.

Instead, we feel like there's something wrong with getting that kind of human connectedness and even, yes, intimacy from other guys. Thus, we're forced to turn almost exclusively to women for it, so that we have to give in to their demands or else face torturous loneliness and lack of human connection.

The thing is it's something we could overcome. As much as it feels uncomfortable at first, as much as the idea that it's "gay" or "wimpy" or "weak" or "un-manly" reflexively comes up, we could actually un-train ourselves from it and be closer. And not be so dependent on women for emotional survival.

It's one of the things that would undo the manipulative, socialized hold women have over men. But the only way it happens is if guys do it for themselves. And for each other.

EverVigilant1 · 2023-11-27T15:50:33+00:00

Because men are in competition with each other for land, stuff, money, and women. Women are a collective "herd" consisting of all women everywhere. Men join tribes, and war against other tribes.

Women want safety and security and will do whatever it takes to get that, including having sex with men they're not really attracted to.

Men want land, money, stuff, and women, and will do whatever it takes to get that, including warring against and defeating other men by any means necessary. So, men band together into tribes and gather land, money, stuff, and women. They make war on other tribes, defeat those tribes, kill the men, and take their land, money, stuff, and women

whereontheearth · 2023-11-26T23:31:53+00:00

As a woman, almost all of my experiences with other women have been quite traumatic. Bullying, toxic gossip, fighting amongst each other, comments on each other's appearance, even to the point of being driven to self harm. So there may be some kind of support there, but I'd say it's only generally when it benefits them or feminism itself. Women are very quick to turn on each other the moment the occasion calls for it.

The men I have met in my life have been supportive of each other. Suicidal thoughts, struggles with alcoholism, mental health issues, cancer...hundreds of men who were there for each other when they needed it and always maintained an air of comraderie.

I come from a minority background where when a loved one passes away, the tradition is that anyone who ever knew that person is welcome to turn up at their wake and at times, this has been in the hundreds depending on how well liked the person was. I have met so many men in my life, none of them half as bad as feminists tend to say they are.

Men could always support each other more. Everyone can. There is a lot of men who pander to feminists or seem to have fed into those womens ideals of what a man should be, or maybe men, who would have never been there for each other in the first place. But I'd say generally - men are doing a decent job of offering and returning friendship.

MrInbetweenn01 · 2023-11-27T02:12:44+00:00

We actually do but I have one friend I could count on to talk to about things. Ultimately though men are designed to walk a certain path and it is usually alone unless you are one of those top 5% men.

I think the key is to accept that life is very unfair and a man in a western country is far luckier than 90% of the other men on the planet. Also men in the past never had such easy access to other men in the same situation as we do now.

Look at this sub, connected to thousands of like minded non judgmental individuals who may be strangers but will in most cases give support where they can in the form of a response etc. Imagine the 50s/60s/70s where not only were attitudes far harsher, there was not the same support network as there is today.

The moment you realize that nobody is going to help you if you fall too far and that every relationship is conditional outside of if you are lucky, your parents then the easier it is to fix yourself in whatever way you need to including getting medical help to get you back to where you need to be.

xXAriesXx · 2023-11-27T03:26:19+00:00

I agree, I think it is because like a few others said, society just has us feeling like we have to outwork/outdo our neighbor. In other words it feels like we are always in competition with each other, rather than building up our fellow men, it feels like men just bring each other down.

Wadeem53 · 2023-11-27T07:52:37+00:00

The only ones that dont support other men are radical brainswahed "man up" tradcons

_matter_as_machine · 2023-11-27T10:03:14+00:00

Men's "empathy" is about opportunities, not about problems.

Contra_Mortis · 2023-11-27T12:47:13+00:00

Lots of pretty depressing responses in this thread. My crew of guys at work is great and I always felt supported there and by my friends outside of work.

bzq84 · 2023-11-27T13:07:00+00:00

I guess because biologically fundamental strategy if men to survive is to compete between each other.

To get resources and provide to his own "tribe", thus supporting another man from outside the tribe would be pointless from that fundamental point of view.

(Just an opinion, not an expert though)

Due-Struggle-9492 · 2023-11-27T20:13:07+00:00

Women tend to be more in tune with their emotions and don’t have the stigma attached to them that asking for help is a negative thing. For men to do such a thing in society they might be looked on as weak or broken or worthless. There’s some guys that support each other more intimately and stuff like girls do, but it’s very much a cultural thing and based on fear and lack of social supports for the issues men face.

Status-Associate6318 · 2023-11-28T10:21:52+00:00

An aspect to this is the condescension brought on by seemingly heterosexual people. If guys bond, if they're comfortable around one another, people strangely begin to question their sexuality, and because homosexuality and bisexuality are still looked down at, panic arises. People do this shit with fictional characters, as well. In Saw, the two guys went through a lot over the course of the film. At the end, they have a deep connection, almost a friendship, and even though the one guy is shown to have a family, and the other guy references an ex girlfriend, people make gay jokes.

There's an awful lot of pressure on men to be less vocal, less reliant on others, and yet, questions arise – specifically from women, "You never tell me anything, why don't you tell me what's wrong?" Once he does, "Be a man, buck up."

StarCitizen117 · 2023-11-27T13:32:38+00:00

Normie men simp and put their lives down for random women who hate them. Also, they tend to be competitive and have an odd urge to put down guys who are weaker than them. Might be primal but idk.

Its dumb that everything men do has to be for women. I don't do a thing for women and never will. I don't owe them a thing.

Planimation4life · 2023-11-27T15:22:04+00:00

From my experience i believe men support each other more than the other way around i guess it depends on what social circle your in, but 100% men support each other more. for example look how easy it is for men to make friends at a gym with other males while females just don't even try unless they're a PT.

RedPill_Hispanic · 2023-11-27T15:26:25+00:00

Men are more competitive in nature, so it doesn't come as natural to us but not impossible, of course. It is more difficult in today's culture where the female way of viewing the world is the correct way to think.

crc8983 · 2023-11-27T22:38:25+00:00

When a man makes a post, and the vast feminazi nation attacks him, step and stand up for him. You'll get abuse as well. We need to stick together. I often will see older married women stand up for the guys.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2023-11-27T23:08:52+00:00

In my experience, the hardest part about relationships with other guys is feeling them out to see if you can try to break the ice on some topic - like some kind of personal problem you're looking for advice on.

Many guys don't really want to have to go there, which is fine. Every time I've been past that point with a guy 1 on 1 or in a group, it's been very supportive.

I remember reading how one guy put it - it was something like, "most guys get a point in their life where they realize they're capable of both incredible good and also incredible evil. They have to come to grips with that." He pointed to that as his explanation of why guys actually can be incredibly supportive even for guys who have done some pretty bad stuff - because they often realize in the right circumstances, and if their life path and gone a bit different, they could have wound up in that guy's shoes or done something just as bad.

Edtiquette · 2023-11-28T01:16:33+00:00

Maybe it’s somehow related to the way men cheat more than women. Maybe men just have less attachment to relationships of all kinds?

Musing_Mother · 2023-11-28T06:25:11+00:00

Never once felt supported by a woman completely. I’ve always felt like I had to hold something back. Men are the exact opposite. So I do not see this as you do. A lot of women are fake about their interactions, few are genuine and even fewer are good at listening and letting you speak. Men let you speak and are respectful. Just easier to open up to a man than a woman.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2023-11-28T10:28:39+00:00

I'll name just one factor. This is not the whole answer but,

I'd like to but, I can't find the time.

There's definitely men I know going through some shit right now, but I'm a work horse atm. Long hours at the office, tending to my kids, and my house.

I think this is a huge factor. We work harder and longer now, for a lot less, and it will never get any better.

That's the situation for a lot of men now. Those who arguably could support their friends barely have time to breathe in between work and other obligations.

But nevertheless we routinely hear that shit about "blabla men don't tend to their fwiendships". Implied: It's all men's fault. No action required. Also implied: World is perfect. If you can't take it, you're toxic.

Zealousideal-Ad-608 · 2023-11-28T12:08:24+00:00

The best explanation I have heard comes from the work of Deborah Tannen and her book "You Just Don't Understand".

She noted that young boys and girls are socialised differently, such that the friendships between boys tend to occur in larger groups that basically have a sort of dominance hierarchy. Your place in the pyramid is mostly based around giving or receiving respect, while individual interactions tend to be asymmetrical where where boys comfort each other by minimising someones problems.

Girls for smaller, flatter networks where the your social value is based on the the number and quality of your connections. Exchanges of social intimacy are the primary value interaction. It is the reason that little girls have a single best friend and tend to reinforce that relationship by sharing personal secrets with each other. It is also the reason that a 'popular girl' can be considered both a desirable friend and are always considered mean or bitchy. If people place more demands on your time and relationships than you can give, then the popular girl needs to push them away somehow.

TLDR: Men can and do support each other, but they compete with each other for status. It probably both biological and cultural. Ultimately every relationship you have is in a constant state of negotiation.

throwaway0408800 · 2023-11-28T14:02:23+00:00

Men are biologically wired to complete against one another.

Icy_Monitor2870 · 2023-11-28T20:48:53+00:00

This is a great question. I don't think there's too many studies on this one, at least not directly answering your question. I think there's more a "social code" that men adhere to. This social code is almost like a set of rules. The ancient belief of "honor" is still slightly ingrained in society, as there are things men hold their other men friends accountable for, and things that men would not do to men who they hate. This code is seperate from morals, and has a lot of facets. For example, a man is much more likely to make a comment/speak in public, whereas this is flipped for the opposite sex. Women have conversations in restrooms, this is true. But can you imagine a man trying to hold a conversation in a restroom? There's other examples, of course but this is the most fitting I feel. This code does support men. The "bro code", if you will. This means that if a man in the friend group is going with a friend's SO secretly, it would be considered taboo to keep quiet about it.

In terms of active support, I do feel women have it all together. I think men are coming around though. I see the youth behaving much more integrated and they seem to be returning to this set of standards. Even young men who hate each other wouldn't damage the others' property or tarnish their reputation. Personally, I'm trying to go on this journey myself. I am introverted, but I've been making strides with supporting the men who come into my life. This is regardless of location. Working in retail and service, I can say that I have been much more open to helping in general. I make sure to help men as they really need it. It doesn't seem like it at first but on closer inspection, I can feel the gratitude that isn't there with women. Of course, I help women as well. Everyone's a human from my Egalitarian perspective, but I do know that men need my help much more, and so that is where I give it when I can.

I'm not where I'd like to be, but I do hope there are many others trying to bring back a social "brotherhood". Men's spaces are being stunted left and right. While we can create those spaces, it's more important to teach other men that they need to create and foster these spaces as well. The more men who are on the same page, the better. It is hard but surrounding oneself with differing perspectives (I choose to do so politically and theologically) doesn't mean you agree with them, instead it fosters the mindset that even with differing views, we men can come together. The idea of male unity needs to be taught, as it is currently being scrubbed from every curriculum out there.

Adanu0 · 2023-11-28T22:05:33+00:00

Men have a strong circle of close friends, typically. Women tend to have a large 'group' of loose associates.

We're infinitely more picky about who gets our time.

Title	Why Don’t Men Support Each Other More?
Author	Geoffrey_Tanner
Upvotes	151
Comments	71
Date	November 26, 2023 11:07 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/184ntn1/why_dont_men_support_each_other_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-dont-men-support-each-other-more.1239397 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239397

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