Average men and dry spells

wtknight · 2018-09-26T20:31:35+00:00

How long does it take the average man (you and your friends) to find a gf?

When I knew what I was doing, it would probably took me about three months. I’m pickier than some guys though. When I didn’t know what I was doing, I couldn’t find a gf. When it comes to friends, it was mostly dependent upon their social skills and pickiness. My friends were mostly bad at talking to women and didn’t find girlfriends until late into college.

What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?

After first having sex I was a volcel for about seven years. I wasn’t happy about it, though, because I just wasn’t attracted to any of the women who I encountered, although I probably could have dated or had sex with a few of them if I wanted to.

Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

I have not had any interest in hook-ups for a long time. I tried one once, but I wasn’t aroused throughout the experience and nothing really happened.

Would you recommend men who are having a dry spell to visit a prostitute?

Not really. I think men should be consistently be working towards loving relationships. Seeking prostitutes is a distraction from that.

Do agree that the average man struggles to get consistently get casual sex?

Consistently? Yes. But I don’t really care about that.

Do you agree that being able to get causal sex is a usefull skill for a man?

Not compared to developing an emotional bond with a woman, but learning how to attract women whether for casual sex or relationships is useful.

petrichordium · 2018-09-26T20:08:35+00:00

I’m an underweight 5’6” dude in full manlet territory and I haven’t been single for more than 3 months at a time in the last 15 years. I try sometimes, but i just keep meeting rad girls who take up my attention. Honestly I don’t know who the average man is, but i have many of the physical shortcomings men online whine about, and they haven’t held me back too much. I think their REAL binding constraints are personality and not actually liking women.

Many of those longer relationships have been open, and I’ve enjoyed plenty of casual sex during them. It made me appreciate my main partner more.

I highly recommend prostitutes to men with dry spells. Many of my girlfriends have done sex work and all were super intelligent interesting people. I generally only pay for sex when traveling internationally bc i do well enough at home, but i fully intend on johning it up a good deal in my 40s and beyond. Some of my most memorable one night stands have been with Slavic hookers where we were communicating in hand gestures and google translate whenever I couldn’t explain something in simple english. I think it’s laughably stupid that men who can’t get laid naturally would turn their noses up at prostitutes, who are very entertaining and could likely teach them a good deal.

blackedoutfast · 2018-09-26T23:02:16+00:00

if you're consistently having trouble finding a gf or a hookup, you may not be as much of an "average man" as you think you are.

OR your expectations may be too high - even high SMV men strike out occasionally. and if you're looking for beautiful model-tier sexy girls who also have really cool personalities and are very attracted to you, but aren't currently locked into a relationship with someone else, you're definitely going to have lots of dry spells because there aren't that many girls like that in the first place. in the meantime if you really need to get your dick wet just go pump'n'dump some fatty.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2018-09-26T21:32:44+00:00

Not that long. I was single for 6 weeks between my last relationship and current one, and that breakup was awful. In that middle period I also had a hookup but decided I'm not about that life afterwards. With friends they are usually able to date pretty easily too, but are not nearly as good at actually maintaining a relationship. If for some reason I was ever single again, I'd bet I could find an LTR in like, three weeks or so at most.
Longest dry spell was like, the month and a half my SO was traveling for when she went on a trip with her family. I was just sad she was gone. The sex, I couldn't care less about. My sex drive isn't all that high, so I could go without it for a while.
Yeah, between my last breakup and my current relationship. I didn't like it, felt bad, then decided that casual stuff isn't for me
Lol no. I don't see the point in visiting prostitutes.
The average man is an overweight dude. Overweight people of all types will struggle.
Nah, if you are even remotely attractive it's not that hard. Seems like most guys I know are just awful at actually maintaining relationships.

RockinSocksII · 2018-09-26T21:55:47+00:00

It took me 24 years before I started dating my current boyfriend. Not letting him go for dear life.

killallthenarcs · 2018-09-26T23:02:14+00:00

Testosterone makes men want sex more than women. Young men especially want lots of sex.

True. There are however things women tend to want more than men. Men here call it "commitment" but it is really a bundle of somethings subtly both more and less than commitment.

The average man cannot consistently get casual sex ...

If he's young and full of natural testosterone and energy and not getting sex to distract him and drain the T away, why is he staying average? He should be a whipcord ball of muscle, drive, creativity and applied learning compared to guys a decade older.

because why would women have casual sex with average guys when they can get it from men who objectively out of their league lol

There is no such thing as an objective league, leagues are pretty much subjective.

So average men can usually only get sex within the confines of a relationship...or prostitutes....that's cool.

if he's young and full of need and testosterone why is he staying average?

Not that cool for him because sh*t happens like arguments, and cheating and breakups .

These things have an impact on women and what women want too. Being a human and needing other people is heaps awkward ain't it.

After a breakup a man has to look at his social circle to find all the single ladies who may want him.

Yes finding someone suitable after a breakup can be difficult for everyone.

And if his social circle is too small

He's young and full of pep, vim and cum, why is his social circle small?

or all the ladies are taken

This is a sign he does not cultivate female friends at all and relies entirely on male friendships to bring women to him. Maybe he should make friends with a few women (especially women who are what is called "social hubs") in their own right? Of course if you only see women as sexual partners of self or others you will be starting from zero when you need a woman.

or they just don't find him attractive ....

He's young and full of testosterone why is he choosing to be average? He's got an automatic advantage over most older guys, the older guys have only an accumulated advantage if they've worked for it consistently.

then he's going to have expand his social circle ...

Oh the humanity.

or approach strangers

Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?'' said Elizabeth, still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam.Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill qualified to recommend himself to strangers?''

(note this doesn't really work for average men).

if you're young and sexually needy you've got that testosterone, use it boy!

So the search for a new girlfriend begins ....it may take a 1 week, maybe a month or 2 , maybe even a year.

Oh the humanity.

In that time while this average guy is searching ...he also wants sex and can't get it ....women don't have this problem.

Women can get sex easier but sex is not anywhere near the totality of their needs, sex alone barely touches the sides so to speak. Women have their own problems.

Texastentialism · 2018-09-26T21:29:28+00:00

How long does it take the average woman (you and your friends) to find a bf?

This is difficult to answer because there are a lot of variables. I mean, we could probably find "a boyfriend" in 24 hours if we really just wanted "a boyfriend." Finding a guy who you like, who you're attracted to, who's single and likes you back and actually wants a LTR is significantly more difficult.

What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?

Ummm maybe 6-8 months? I can't remember exactly. Yes I was fine with it. When I'm single, I don't really think about sex or miss sex unless there's a specific guy that I'm infatuated with/crushing on, then I become obsessed with him and can think of nothing else. I'm very all-or-nothing that way. So in the midst of a dry spell I never thought like, "I need sex" or "I need a relationship" or "I need a boyfriend." It's more like I'd meet a guy, fall for him, and think "I need THAT GUY." If there was no guy in the picture for me to focus on, I wasn't preoccupied with it at all.

Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

I wouldn't really put it that way, but I guess so. I felt pretty much the same afterward.

reluctantly_red · 2018-09-26T20:27:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AutoModerator · 2018-09-26T19:56:32+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

RockinSocksII · 2018-09-26T21:52:55+00:00

It took me 24 years before I started dating my current boyfriend. Not letting him go for dear life.

2018-09-26T22:39:15+00:00

Q4Men] How long does it take the average man (you and your friends) to find a gf

If I'm looking it'll take a few months. Generally I don't go out to find a gf though, I've never actually found one by going out to look for one. My regular pattern is going from hooking up to more serious stages gradually.

What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?

About two years in my twenties. I was living in a small town and I was in that awkward after uni spot - didn't have any future goals, had no money, saddled with debt plus still living a university type lifestyle.

Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

Yeah how else can you end it? It's a massive relief. Plus you get a big rush from doing physical things after a dry spell.

Would you recommend men who are having a dry spell to visit a prostitute?

Yeah if they like, just don't make a habit of it.

After learning how to get causal sex did you find yourself having girlfriends less?

No just more options open up. You can assume that there will be a chance to start dating a lot of girls who sleep with you casually if you want to try it.

Ill finish by repeating my other answer. The best way to get a gf is by going out for casual. You can try out a variety of girls and have fun, and wait for someone you really like. Going out to find a gf straight away is asking for trouble, either you seem desperate or you have a stupid list of things you want that prohibit you. It should be organic .

Tyler_Gatsby · 2018-09-26T22:52:57+00:00

Q4M 1. Like others of both sexes said, just getting a gf, if nothing else mattered, maybe 0-3 months. I'm looking for real compatibility though.

Q2. About a year, and no, not happy about it. Could have sex, but don't want to with my options. All options are a bad idea for at least one reason or another. I'm not very interested in casual sex, and very few women can have casual sex with me, even if they seriously tell me they can. They change their minds afterwards. I'm trying to quit getting in the situation to have to be the asshole who breaks some girl's heart, who laughed at me warning her about it being a bad idea to begin with.

Q3. Yes, I've had hook ups, or what was supposed to be hook ups, but all but maybe once or twice she's made me regret it.

Q4. Yes prostitution should be legal, but no I wouldn't ever sleep with one. Not judging, I just can't get turned on by the cold transaction aspect of it.

LookSafeFromFarAway · 2018-09-26T22:54:30+00:00

[Q4Women] How long does it take the average woman (you and your friends) to find a bf?

A couple months. If you're looking for compatibility with multiple factors rather than strictly looks it's not an overnight thing.

[Q4 Men & Women] What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?

8 months, very happy about it since it was purposeful and intended to avoid my shitty relationship decision making skills.

[Q4 Men & Women] Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

Ended that dry spell with...an exclusive fwb arrangement? Though this would solve getting laid while not having to deal with the day to day dipshittery. It was terribly stupid of me and I don't recommend it.

LivelyChartreuse · 2018-09-26T23:07:18+00:00

How long does it take the average woman (you and your friends) to find a bf?

My friends always took forever, they'd go years between people, but I usually picked a new one up in 1-3 months.

What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?

Since I started having sex, about 1-3 months.

Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

Kind of? I had one short term fling that didn't turn into a relationship, all my other "hook ups" turned out to just be the courting phase.

SkookumTree · 2018-09-26T23:19:11+00:00

I think an unusually long dry spell is three to five years.

killallthenarcs · 2018-09-26T23:20:26+00:00

[Q4Women] How long does it take the average woman (you and your friends) to find a bf?

Everything is down to how needy she is of the stuff that isn't sex. The more she needs, then if she's refusing guys who do not meet those needs the longer it takes.

What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?

Outside a relationship? Days. Inside a relationship... while trying to make it work but either him or me not feeling like sex, totally miserable all the while? Years.

Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

In my early twenties. The hookup became a relationship. I felt... confused.

Do agree that the average man struggles to get consistently get casual sex?

Sure. Don't be average. You don't have to be average. Even if every guy chooses not to be average you can still pick your thing to excel in, pick a segment of the market to appeal to. If you're not completely disabled you can put the drives of youth to better purpose than video games and masturbation.

Do you agree that being able to get causal sex is a useful skill for a man?

It isn't just skill, you become something that finds the whole game easier. Usain Bolt isn't just skill, he picked his game and he changed himself to play that game AND he learned skills.

abaxeron · 2018-09-26T23:37:01+00:00

How long does it take the average man (you and your friends) to find a gf?

Let's say months; but very few of my circle actually wandered around trying to actively find a girlfriend. Things usually just happen.

What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?

Ummmmm, something around two and a half years. I was unhappy about the first 9 months of it, because I was cohabitating and in the state of dead bedroom. And by "dead bedroom" I mean "dead", not "comatose" (i.e. occasional monthly intercourse)

Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

I tried once and ended up marrying her.

Would you recommend men who are having a dry spell to visit a prostitute?

No. Buy a toy. If things are that bad, buy a doll. Probably overall cheaper than syphilis.

After learning how to get causal sex did you find yourself having girlfriends less?

I never used the red pill knowledge to get more casual sex, just to get over breakups and general backstabs from women. Red pill knowledge for me was the end of my participation in the dating scene, forever. Those of my genes that are already in the next generation will do just fine.

AstuteBlackMan · 2018-09-27T07:54:20+00:00

Women will take average dick because they want dick dude. If women aren’t giving you pussy in this modern society then you are one of the lowest of the lows. It may not be the woman you want but these women are easily throwing it back. That being said I can’t believe you typed this out.

1) it really doesn’t take long to find a girlfriend if someone really wanted one in my friend group. But at times you might hold off on it depending on certain reasons.

2) longest dry spell - from birth till I lost my virginity. Not sure why it’s relevant.

3) prostitution is pathetic personally. But to each his own

The rest of these questions are weird

jonascf · 2018-09-27T10:21:09+00:00

[Q4Men] How long does it take the average man (you and your friends) to find a gf?

I don't know. Two years?

[Q4 Men & Women] What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?

A little longer than a year but it could probably have been shorter if I had been better att picking up and acting on indications of interest.

I was unhappy, but more like deeply depressed and the lack of sex was actually one of the things that bothered me the least.

[Q4 Men & Women] Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

A hook-up like in a ONS? Nope.

[Q4 Men] Would you recommend men who are having a dry spell to visit a prostitute?

No, what good would come from that?

Gravel_Roads · 2018-09-27T12:27:26+00:00

[Q4Men] How long does it take the average man (you and your friends) to find a gf?

I tend to run in hippy-queer, sex positive, mostly millenial-aged social groups, so dating and commitment are more spiderwebbed between one open relationship and the next. This tends to mean formal commitment as bf and gf is less necessary, as everyone is already a part of everyone else's life and having sex with each other and living together in large communities that have dinner parties and movie nights and tabletop RP games and hiking/camping outings ect.

With commitment not being necessary to enjoy intimacy with loved ones (and thus not needed to cement that person into your life), people don't really "look" for a boyfriend or girlfriend. They just end up bf or gf whenever they begin to fall in love. For some people, it's every 3-5 years, for others it's like... a week or two.

[Q4 Men & Women] What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?

I didn't bother having sex until I was like... 23 or 24. So that would probably be my longest period, and I was perfectly happy with it, and found people that tried to pressure me into having sex earlier annoying. Otherwise, I haven't really had a dry spell that I didn't want. More often then not, because I have a low sex drive, I turn most offers down. I feel like this partially is what results in so many people chasing me, though.

[Q4 Men & Women] Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

Yup! It was fun. My favorite one-off date was a pilot. They took me up in a two-seat Cesna and let me fly the plane. We rented a hotel, banged then stayed up watching Archer.

[Q4 Men] Would you recommend men who are having a dry spell to visit a prostitute?

Sure, if that's something they're comfortable with. I know a number of sex workers, and have done sex work myself, so I have zero problem with it. Sex is fun. People are willing to pay for a massage or a visit with a counselor -- it's not much different. I'd definitely recommend a higher end sex worker though - $300 or above. Street walkers often bum me out and are less invested in comfort and good company.

No Pill, but answering anyway...

[Q4BP] Do agree that the average man struggles to get consistently get casual sex?

I think the average man's struggle is reliant on the level to which he struggles socially. Average men are "average" for different reasons. Some have above average social skills, and they'll probably not struggle. Some are below average, and they'll struggle even if they're hot.

[Q4BP] Do you agree that being able to get causal sex is a usefull skill for a man?

Having social skills is useful for a man, yes. You use social skills to get casual sex, as well jobs, friends, peaceful lives, status, reputation ect ect.

[Q4RP] After learning how to get causal sex did you find yourself having girlfriends less?

I definitely will say that being able to access sex without being required to commit to a relationship definitely means I don't seek relationships very often. But I've also been in a very generous open relationship for the past 15 or so years, so I don't really NEED any more bfs or gfs.

mistercheeez-o____O- · 2018-09-27T19:03:14+00:00

[Q4Men] How long does it take the average man (you and your friends) to find a gf?

If he dates considerably down, I'd say round 3 months. If not, It could most likely take 6 months to a year (or longer). I'm guessing.

[Q4 Men & Women] What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?

Almost 3 years. Tremendously unhappy, I also didn't go about it just trying to hook up, so it was quite painful dealing with repeat rejections.

[Q4 Men & Women] Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

Yeah, that's just the current state of affairs, I gather. I rarely go all the way with women that I am not open to actually dating. It felt pretty good, but it doesn't hold a candle to feeling like there's more between the two of ya, rather than just hooking-up.

Romance is my telos.

[Q4 Men] Would you recommend men who are having a dry spell to visit a prostitute?

No. I think some things are sacred. The notion that sex would be so transactional is not something that I would assume most humans would find easy to reconcile. Though I may just be weird.

[Q4BP] Do agree that the average man struggles to get consistently get casual sex?

I am no pill, but I think my prior responses warranted the momentary BP badge. Consistent sex of any kind with women they find attractive? I believe so.

immaculacy · 2018-09-28T03:16:27+00:00

How long does it take the average woman (you and your friends) to find a bf? I could get one in 3 minutes if I wanted to. A "real" bf would take a week. I know this is a bad answer but it's true.

"Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after." No hookups for me heh.

"Do agree that the average man struggles to get consistently get casual sex?" No I think it's very easy. There's a lot of thots out there.

"Do you agree that being able to get causal sex is a usefull skill for a man?" Absolutely not. Not only because it's easy, but because it's stupid. It's by definition easy. You just have to find a bunch of horny girls/guys who don't care about being with you and will be perfectly happy to never talk to you again shortly after (a few months later, usually).

Eartherry · 2018-09-28T05:46:23+00:00

[Q4Women] How long does it take the average woman (you and your friends) to find a bf?

Technically, the first man that shows interest is a potential boyfriend. So for myself and my friends, it would be nonexistent because there's always men waiting for the current relationship to end.

[Q4 Men & Women] What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?

5+ years. No, it's been by choice.

[Q4 Men & Women] Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

Yes. About the same as before the hookup.

[Q4 Men] Would you recommend men who are having a dry spell to visit a prostitute?

Sure, why not.

[Q4BP] Do agree that the average man struggles to get consistently get casual sex?

Yes. I'm also confident that whoever he is, it's the least of his problems.

[Q4BP] Do you agree that being able to get causal sex is a usefull skill for a man?

I know for a fact that a lack of casual sex has no physical effects on men. I have yet to hear any argument justifying why men's "plight" is even on the same plane as an actual plight.

nomansweb · 2018-09-28T10:18:45+00:00

How long does it take the average man (you and your friends) to find a gf?

It takes me and some of my friends years, but if we were less picky about certain personality traits and/or were okay with fat women, then probably about six months. Seriously, the guys here saying it only takes them weeks must either have zero standards or look like Ryan Gosling.

What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?

Two years. I was sort of unhappy about it but then again I did reject some offers that weren't completely bottom of the barrel.

Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

Yes. It makes me feel better for a couple of days but doesn't really do much for me compared to a relationship.

Would you recommend men who are having a dry spell to visit a prostitute?

Depends on his circumstances and personality.

Do you agree that the average man struggles to get consistently get casual sex?

Yes, especially if they don't want to scrape the bottom of the barrel.

Do you agree that being able to get causal sex is a usefull skill for a man?

Yes. It is validating for a lot of men and it makes getting a relationships easier as well because he'll probably be better-looking and/or better at flirting.

After learning how to get causal sex did you find yourself having girlfriends less?

Yes, but that's unrelated. I'd much rather have a girlfriend than casual sex.

darudeboysandstorm · 2018-09-26T20:26:51+00:00

[Q4Men] How long does it take the average man (you and your friends) to find a gf?
I can find one in a day if I wanted, but one I would seriously consider long term? Well I am still looking.

[Q4 Men & Women] What's the longest dry spell you have had? Were you unhappy about it?
I won't count the awkward years of learning etc, but I would say realistically 6-8 months.

[Q4 Men & Women] Have you ever ended a dry spell with a hookup? How did you feel after.

Yea, the same as before more or less.

[Q4 Men] Would you recommend men who are having a dry spell to visit a prostitute?

Never been to one, not opposed though. My ex is an escort and I can see how paying her for sex might be appealing, it was probably her most valued skill.

[Q4BP] Do agree that the average man struggles to get consistently get casual sex?

Yes

[Q4BP] Do you agree that being able to get causal sex is a usefull skill for a man?

Yes

[Q4RP] After learning how to get causal sex did you find yourself having girlfriends less?

Big YES

ThrowFader · 2018-09-27T01:49:21+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

Title	Average men and dry spells
Author	profiter_du_declin
Upvotes	3
Comments	49
Date	September 26, 2018 7:56 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/9j5xqe/average_men_and_dry_spells/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/average-men-and-dry-spells.260690 https://theredarchive.com/post/260690

Comments