Difference Between "Being Considerate" and "Being Beta"?

AngelFire_3_14156 · 2019-06-04T13:03:42+00:00

I would say yes, you can be considerate:

But you do it because YOU want to.

Not because you feel you HAVE to in order to win someones approval.

azngirl7689 · 2019-06-04T13:33:50+00:00

Considerate has boundaries. Beta doesn’t.

IlluminatedElf · 2019-06-04T14:38:59+00:00

A good leader is many things; he helps a group achieve a particular objective. He understands that at times, there're going to be a clash in needs and it's OK to make a decision that might temporarily forego some people's preferences over others. There might be some hurt feelings at the moment but in the grand scheme of things, everyone is going to appreciate you for doing the right thing.

There is nothing more endearing than a guy who is a good leader but also makes small concessions for the sake of someone they adore or love. I was raised to not feel entitled to such concessions and so I don't expect it from a guy; it's just a sign that things are going well. It's not a mandated requirement for a healthy relationship. My dad used to work long hours and he's never bought my mum an anniversary or birthday gift. My dad has had arguments with my mum on her birthday; eventually, when he realises it, she might get a sheepish kind word and a nice gesture. To my parents, birthdays are a thing for children. They preferred saving money and having financial security, so that's what they geared towards.

These days, women are raised to feel entitled to a lot of things because they've observed/heard of snippets of kindness in a relationship. The average western liberal woman expects commiseration and consideration from everyone.

As a woman, I'm expected to feel sympathy for other women because of vaginas, ovaries, childbirth, PMS, etc.. I don't feel sympathetic to women for that reasons; to be brutally honest, I can only sympathise with women I respect and are free from a sense of entitlement from the world. Women are not babies.

CainPrice · 2019-06-04T15:13:47+00:00

Absolutely. You are considerate to a woman when you treat her appropriately.

When a woman is having sex with you, behaving well toward you, and treating you with kindness and respect, you can be nice and considerate toward her. When she starts getting difficult and withholding sex and being a bitch about stuff, you stop being nice and considerate toward her and go have sex with someone else.

You treat her like a normal person. Like anybody else. You are -appropriately- considerate. You do things for her that she has earned that are warranted. The same way you might for a friend or coworker or neighbor. You don't do things for her that aren't earned or warranted. That's weird and creepy. Like if your neighbor showed up at your door and wanted to give you $1000 for no reason and it wasn't earned or warranted, that would be really weird.

However, "beta" men try to win a woman over with consideration. Instead of attracting women the right way, then being considerate toward women who are attracted to them and that are having sex with them, they try to use consideration to attract the women. They are nice to women in ways that are not warranted and that the women haven't earned, which is creepy and weird.

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-06-04T13:37:09+00:00

MRP had No More Mr. Nice Guy and When I Say No I Feel Guilty (Better of the two books) that clearly state how to deal with all this nuance.

However, why should they have nuance? Why should they moralize and dictate what a good leader is? Its not like they are married or have children. This is why TRP is caustic by nature; because this kind of line of thinking from women is what got Male Action Plan changed to Mindful Attraction Plan. Men need to learn to communicate directly and to do that they need to change their mindset.

Its kind of like critiquing a hammer for not being able to saw. Betas going to RP don't need training in being considerate; they are WAYYY to considerate.

GrumpyOldHistoricist · 2019-06-04T20:37:59+00:00

Terps act like compromise and giving are always signs of weakness because nothing they counsel comes naturally to them. That’s literally why that community exists. It’s about feigning masculine virtue in hopes that it will eventually develop.

You absolutely can be considerate without being “beta.” The question is if you appear to be granting something or surrendering something. The former is done from a position of strength and security. The latter from weakness and insecurity. If you’re weak and insecure to start with, any sort of kindness on your part will feel like defeat.

blackedoutfast · 2019-06-04T15:48:56+00:00

empathy can be very useful for effective leadership. but too much sympathy can be a problem.

the scarcity effect and the ben franklin effect are also relevant. a person who is constantly looking after other people and doing them free favors will be less appreciated than someone who is more selective about it.

decoy88 · 2019-06-04T16:30:01+00:00

Being considerate during sex helps turn one into the best lover. It’s way easier time of “spinning plates” if they actually enjoy the sex that you’re keeping them around for.

PumpkinFeet · 2019-06-04T20:32:42+00:00

It's all to do with intentions I think. The behaviour isn't the point, it's the intention.

If you are doing X to get approval, you are beta.

If you are doing X because you think it's the right thing to do, you are alpha.

X can be the same.

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-06-04T13:17:55+00:00

It’s about being considerate because you’re feeling altruistic or compassionate and not because you think it will win her favor or doing so just to make her happy at your own expense.

I know a guy who agreed to an open relationship just to make her happy and not because he is truly open to the idea. That’s being considerate and beta IMO.

Gravel_Roads · 2019-06-04T14:00:42+00:00

be the prize,

Yeah this is good but LOL have I read some hilarious shit on TRP lately of guys who really aren't the prize pretending to be the prize.

Like "well I'll act all aloof and confident and that will make them think I am the prize! Hnngg!"

Nothing is more pathetic really. I mean they think women are likely to fall for this shit? Maybe the dumbest hos out there.

87AudreyHorne · 2019-06-04T15:09:22+00:00

Being beta is trying to negotiate sex like a scared kitten, stammering like a Hugh Grant character as to whether she’d mind passing the pussy or something.

Being considerate is not wiping your dick on her curtains after bending her over the couch and glazing her meat flower.

AutoModerator · 2019-06-04T13:00:15+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

sublimemongrel · 2019-06-04T13:17:52+00:00

I’d say yes but under the alpha/beta definitions which look at traits objectively rather than placing alpha into “all the things I aim to be” and beta into “all the unattractive things.” Being caring, considerate, a person who is good to others, these are beta. But under said definition beta doesn’t have to mean terribly unattractive. And actually most people would look at many of those traits and find them admirable.

atlantic68 · 2019-06-04T16:59:20+00:00

Act professional. Like you would at work if you had a decent white collar job you lazy sod

Workaholico · 2019-06-04T20:03:03+00:00

Being considerate is something you do because you choose to do for moral reasons.
Being a beta is being considerate because you have to do for sexual/relationship reasons.

[deleted] · 2019-06-04T20:07:36+00:00

I swear 90% of shit like this can be boiled down to one word: vibe.

Swaggadocious Steve and Timid Timothy can do and say the exact same things, but with totally different vibe and totally different result from female clientele.

If you're considerate while being masculine, confident and funny you will get laid. If you are considerate while being insecure, socially awk and deadpan, you will fail. Substitute considerate for almost any other word and the result is the same.

faissaloo · 2019-06-06T15:25:33+00:00

Looking after a person is alpha, giving without restriction is beta. The distinction is difficult to find (similar to being self-assured vs being arrogant) but it does exist.
Take two similar situations:
Your wife likes red dresses, so out of nowhere you buy a red dress you know she'll like and just leave her to find it, when she asks why you did that you just say you 'felt like it'. This is alpha behaviour, you have given to benefit the long term and without justification.
Your wife pesters you for the red dress she wants, eventually you begrudgingly give in, despite your finances not being in order. This is beta behaviour, you have given at the expense of the long term.

redpillbanana · 2019-06-07T09:57:13+00:00

Being considerate comes from a position of strength. Keywords: magnanimity, generosity, mentorship.

Being Beta comes from a position of weakness. Keywords: supplication, sycophantic, ingratiating.

Sad_Virgin_Beta_Male · 2019-06-04T16:27:28+00:00

Handsome males are considerate. Ugly males are beta.

dingelingdollar · 2019-06-04T18:21:04+00:00

Being considerate is the straight opposite of alpha

Title	Difference Between "Being Considerate" and "Being Beta"?
Author	Gravel_Roads
Upvotes	25
Comments	69
Date	June 4, 2019 1:00 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bwoey7/difference_between_being_considerate_and_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/difference-between-being-considerate-and-being.255462 https://theredarchive.com/post/255462

Comments