Does being Chad help empathize with women?

eboy4hire · 2019-08-27T22:02:51+00:00

I feel like the differences in sex drive cancel out this effect to some extent. Being Chad is basically fulfilling every man's imperative, whereas being a thot does not satisfy most women's imperative; it's a minority lifestyle for women, despite what a lot of trpers and black pillers claim.

HenryVIIII · 2019-08-27T21:45:32+00:00

I was much, much more empathetic when I didn't understand that women are as fickle and selfish as men are.

Dating success shattered that perspective really fast.

At that point, no more special empathy for women. They get my compliance with my legal obligations to other humans the end.

oldhag888 · 2019-08-27T22:50:12+00:00

Being “chad” does not help you to empathize with women. In my experience as a woman, the "chads" that i have had the misfortune of interacting with in day to day life are some of the least empathetic people I have ever met, and often their displays of “empathy” are just that, displays, or charades for the sake of playing to the circumstance that they are in at a given moment in such a way that they can extract optimal personal gain. These displays are often reserved exclusively for other men, and to women which they are attracted to. This is exactly why I’m not attracted to them, rippling pectorals or not.

The content of this post fundamentally belies a faulty concept of empathy and what it takes to empathize, which is no surprise if it is in fact derived from the red pill, seeing as members of the red pill are some of the most empathetically incompetent people I have ever witnessed.

Empathy is a skill like anything else. Some people are naturals, others need to put in more effort to become good at it. The idea that chad can empathize with women better because he has more sex just like how women have more access to sex assumes that empathy is only possible when you have had similar life experiences. But this can’t be the case because there are people who have gone through similar life experiences or hardships as others and yet who do not feel empathy for other people with shared or common experiences- ie. chads

This faulty understanding of empathy likely stems from the fact that whoever first posited this argument is more of a right brained person, which is common in men, and you are used to navigating ideas and reality through a logical lens and by collecting empirical data. These things are extremely valuable and I am not trying to discredit them, and they have their place and function. I hope you can see how I myself am using logic to make an argument about the nature of empathy.

empathy is not fundamentally rooted in logic or empirical data. They can be helpful to one’s ability to empathize, but they are just that, mere support. In your chad-as-empathizer argument, you make the case that chad can understand women’s perspective better because he has had more similar experiences, ie collected more anecdotal, or empirical evidence. But we know this is not the case because there are plenty of chads who don’t care about women’s feelings or perspective, in fact you could even make the claim that it’s a more common view of women among chads.

Real empathy is not about having life experiences similar enough to another persons so as to be able to merely relate to them. There are highly emotionally intelligent people in this world who have an ability to really see into another persons perspective and worldview, understand who they are, what it’s like to be them, and to experience the things they’ve experienced AS THEM. And these people can do this with people who are entirely different from them and who have drastically different life experiences- collecting data on the shared experience is not relevant to their ability to do this. I am proud to say my own boyfriend is one of these people, and I would not be dating him if he weren’t.

It is not a coincidence that highly creative and artistic people are often very empathetic. It is because imagination is the crux of empathy, being able to actually imagine what it’s like to BE that person and live their life and feel their feelings, so that they in turn become your feelings. when you do this, it is significantly harder to take actions to hurt them, because 1- you have a much clearer understanding of what their interests are, and so it is easier to protect them , 2- you have an intrinsic motivation to protect them by virtue of empathizing with them, feeling their pain, knowing what it’s like to be in that pain and not wanting anyone to feel that way. Their feelings become yours, their interests become yours- because these are now extensions of your own self, you feel motivated to protect that because we all have a self interested motivation to protect ourselves.

If the idea of going inside a woman’s perspective and understanding what it means to be a woman, be feminine and have a womanly existence, if getting in touch with your imagination and understanding another persons vulnerability sounds “gay” to you, then actually having sex with a woman might be too “gay“ for you as well. Stick to a Barbie doll, a flesh light, a poster of monica lewinsky or a porn video on your laptop- these things are objects, so you don’t have to worry about hurting them, nor do you have carry the burden of connecting to them emotionally.

Finally, isn’t this whole idea inconsistent with traditional redpill rhetoric? Every time I read their forum they talk about how women drool over evil sociopath narcissist psychopath dark triad personalities. I have no idea how they got this ridiculous notion in their heads, since this is not the case for myself nor any of my female friends, but to stick to the point I’m making, the notion of chad as a bleeding heart empathizer seems to go against everything they are touting in this forum, and the very ideology of chad himself. As far as I can tell this just exposes some more internal inconsistencies which make up the nonsense which is the red pill.

findingfemininity · 2019-08-27T22:23:00+00:00

I think most men (even non-Chads) understand why women don't like excessive sexual attention, they just don't care. Getting lots of sexual attention helps with the MALE IMPERATIVE so of course they aren't going to see it as a problem. Even in the post you linked it seems like the men see spinning lots of plates as mostly just an annoyance.

Likewise most women understand why guys get upset at not getting laid but they also don't care. The FEMALE IMPERATIVE is to be in a monogamous LTR/marriage with a high beta/2nd tier alpha guy. It's the reverse of the above scenario: woman might be annoyed if they're not getting casual sexual attention but they don't see it as a problem the way men do.

pnadlerlaw · 2019-08-27T22:23:44+00:00

No. I never “spun plates.”

But being good looking obviously helps a guy empathize with women, if he cares to. The three things that helped me empathize with women are:

getting over approach anxiety before you even develop approach anxiety, and learn to enjoy flirting just for the sake of flirting. You don’t need to “spin plates” to have options. The anxiety that men feel when they’re dating a “extremely” beautiful woman 9.5+ is, “If I fuck things up, how am I going to work up the courage to approach someone else like her again?” I legit think men are in relationships and shitty marriages because they’re probably afraid or anxious of approaching new women. That is the issue-determinative difference between men and women in the sex/dating market. Once you get over that and approaching and flirting and meeting new people is fluid and seamless, you genuinely couldn’t give a shit about things working out with someone, and it’s not because you’re spinning 7 plates on the side. It’s because the very next day, you can just go out and start something with someone new who you’re equally more or less attracted to.
getting into a car accident, suffering testicular trauma and low testosterone. This one was eye-opening for me. I’m legit at the point where I may just write a book on it. I had two girls break up with me because I “wasn’t sexually aggressive enough,” something I never imagined I would ever hear from women. I would get the sense that women just wanted more, and more, and more sex, and it was legit difficult for me to provide it (as a man). I had to try really hard to feel sexual desire, and I had to take Cialis and inject my penis so I could stay hard. I could appreciate that she was physically attractive, but I had zero desire to have sex, and I had to go through the motions of just having sex snd faking it, because I didn’t feel like dealing with the female version of LLM/HLF. It was also interesting outside the bedroom. I was hyperaware of how women would pre-suppose I wanted to have sex with them, just because I was a man. Sometimes, it was fun to see women try and use their sexuality on me, and for it to fall on deaf ears. The irony was, I could have been drowning in pussy, but had zero desire for it.
marijuana. I had so many experiences where I was having sex while I was high, and time would just slow down, and I would be lost in a seemingly perpetual moment, and just be hyperaware of the dynamic between my masculine energy and my partner’s feminine energy. Sometimes, I would be aware of my masculinity and male sexuality from an almost third-person observer POV, and place myself (mentally) inside of and in the role of the woman, and try to experience “getting fucked” ... by myself. This other time, I was on the bed cuddling my gf who had went to sleep, and I was still awake and high, and I was thinking how it feels like for her to have her man fuck her from behind ... so I started kissing her and making out with her, and as I was fucking her from behind, it’s like I was inside her mind experiencing a man (myself) fucking me (in the body of my gf) from behind, and how that experience was to receive that male masculine energy, presence and sexuality ... as a woman.

So, “empathy,” absolutely. Outside of workplace sexual harassment, being a victim of a sex crime, and “annoyances” on the street or in public, 100%.

wtknight · 2019-08-27T21:43:19+00:00

Can the dating experiences of women only be empathized with by attractive, sexually successful men?

No, because these men aren't harassed by strangers bigger than them.

Have you seen yourself empathize more once you gained more success in dating?

No, but I've always empathized with women somewhat because I'm very socially withdrawn and prefer to be left alone by other people a lot of the time. When people bother me socially when I don't want to be bothered, I feel like I empathize with what it must like to be a woman somewhat, although, of course, I don't experience the potential physical danger that women experience just by being "socially harassed."

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Emervila · 2019-08-27T22:26:34+00:00

I think there is a lot of validity here. You just can't understand women by merely observing them without experiencing their level of abundance. As one of the comments there said: You get to understand women by experiencing, for yourself, what it's like to be able to treat people as disposable, replaceable, and interchangeable.

Hell of a truth that why men theorize about it to try to understand but mostly to take action about it.

Q4Men: Have you seen yourself empathize more once you gained more success in dating?

Chad does not empathize because his actions are selfish in terms he will still pump and dump also he won't commit. He does sympathize since that experience allows him to understand women better therefore is able to sexually connect better with them.

Have I empathize more? Yes, totally not just dating more but also LTR a beautiful women teaches you a lot how the world is for them, i.e. she was taking a plane, after completing the check up for her ticket and passport not even 5 laters she already had a FB friend request from one of the desk male employees, I told her to file a complaint with the airline but she didn't want to, it wasn't the first unwanted message or request she got like that, she just restricted her social media after that.

blackedoutfast · 2019-08-27T22:37:47+00:00

a rotation with 7-10 per week

shiiiiiit good luck with that

-OpportunityCost · 2019-08-28T01:43:03+00:00

I went from having some empathy to basically none when I became successful with women. When you see how the game is played in 2019 its hard to have empathy. The biggest slayers I know don't show any empathy towards women and in fact alot are pretty misogynistic. Hearing young attractive women complain about not getting their way when it comes to dating is a lot like how you hear white people claiming they are being racial discriminated on. It's hard to take their complaints seriously when they have never had to deal with seeing what the other side is like.

Barneysparky · 2019-08-27T22:47:38+00:00

Serious question. When did the word popular get replaced by Chad?

If you ask the question do popular guys have more empathy then it would make sense.

Then I would answer popular people men and women display higher levels of empathy than the general public. Display doesn't mean they have more empathy, but it does mean the words they choose to use when talking to other people make people think they are empathetic.

Red__Blue · 2019-08-27T21:42:38+00:00

Pickup artists when they describe their experience, note that their success ad seducing women makes them more bitter about them than when they started. Niel Strauss's the Game while in my opinion embellished pretty much chronicles and asserts the phenomena.

NockerJoe · 2019-08-27T22:04:17+00:00

I think this guy kinda forgets the obvious corollary that both genders get there by choice. I'm not a top chadling and I still next women. Guys who aren't Chad next women here and there even if they don't have infinity options.

The thing is this is a choice and so is the reverse. If you don't like a dude and don't wanna fuck him unless he rapes you you aren't gonna fuck him. If you're devoting your time to 7-10 orbiters and FWB's instead of just nexting them or not putting yourself in that situation it's your fault however it goes because you're the one who put yourself there. Shit I've looked at some objectively attractive girls and noticed their nose is like half a milimeter off center and it's killed my enthusiasm mid date even if she did a full beauty routine and looked better than I've ever seen her, but I still at least made a go to keep things respectful and be realistic that that's just my mind playing stupid games.

You can empathize with someone, but you can do that while realizing their situation is entirely their fault and due to their actions.

Ofourkind · 2019-08-27T22:45:00+00:00

Exposure leads to understanding, understanding leads to empathy.

People who are geographically and culturally isolated are often more judgmental and fearful of other races than people living in more diverse metropolises, for example. Men are are isolated from women are more fearful and judgmental of them than men who spend a great deal of time interacting with them.

Xemnas81 · 2019-08-28T03:48:25+00:00

This is plain ass retarded. While attractive men tend to be more gynocentric, most incels have WAY TOO MUCH FUCKING EMPATHY for women and LOW SELF ESTEEM, which is why they don't inflict their sexuality on them, thinking they are unworthy, which because of Hypergamy's nature becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. If they don't get redpilled then it usually stops there or even devolves into self harm and the rope, if they do that's when the radicalisation into misogyny occurs. A recovering Nice Guy is going to be a cunt to women for a while, it's the only way, sorry not sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.

This mentality is cancer.

fuckGuilt · 2019-08-28T05:31:36+00:00

Yes. You have abundance, or you don't.

rus9384 · 2019-08-28T10:41:30+00:00

Can the dating experiences of women only be empathized with by attractive, sexually successful men?

No. But most people lack the ability to put themselves in place of others, so... often it's the requirement.

Have you seen yourself empathize more once you gained more success in dating?

No.

Also,

This teaches you how women feel when they sleep with someone who they don't want that much

Has little to do with abundance. Sounds more like settling.

Gravel_Roads · 2019-08-28T13:20:07+00:00

Really accurate premise, honestly. Good one, Smoggs.

I'm pretty sure this is, conversely, also why everyone both hates incels but are fascinated by them -- they're the opposite end of the spectrum, and when people are struggling to get a date, it's hard not to relate to the incel struggle. But because it doesn't feel good, they have a bad taste in their mouth after the experience, and they end up asking "why do incels stay there?" as though it was a conscious choice.

[deleted] · 2019-08-27T21:40:59+00:00

There is truth to what you talk, it is easier to extremely top men to fully empathize with women, but you seen to forget a important part. Male nature.

goatismycopilot · 2019-08-27T22:17:47+00:00

_derekhawkins · 2019-08-28T16:03:10+00:00

Empathize MORE with women? 😂😂😂😂😂🙂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Title	Does being Chad help empathize with women?
Author	Mr_Smoogs
Upvotes	7
Comments	126
Date	August 27, 2019 8:51 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/cwadc6/does_being_chad_help_empathize_with_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-being-chad-help-empathize-with-women.254251 https://theredarchive.com/post/254251

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