Explain it to me like I’m 5

wtknight · 2023-03-26T12:31:37+00:00

Removed for being off-topic to this sub.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-03-26T02:16:22+00:00

You can’t choose who you are attracted to. You CAN select among the set of people you’re attracted to. The post was made by a Bi guy, not a guy who decided to be bi.

I’m hopelessly straight. I have wished that I wasn’t because I’ve known some truly incredible gay women and would likely have found great happiness in a relationship with any one of them but I’m just not wired that way so they remain treasured friends and will never be more 🤷‍♀️.

If you can honestly be attracted to and intimate with someone regardless of gender then you are already wired that way and it’s selection, not choice.

EulenWatcher · 2023-03-26T02:10:35+00:00

You can make a choice to date whoever you want as long as they also want to date you, but you can’t change who you get attracted to. Otherwise people in countries where it is illegal and where they could get killed for their sexuality would just…change it. But they can’t.

I’m demi, so almost all people are completely non-sexual beings for me, I can’t help it. I can’t force myself to feel attraction to someone, just as I can’t force myself to drop developed attraction on the spot. In the same way a gay man can’t find a woman sexually attractive and he can’t have enjoyable sex with her. If any sex.

Holden_Frame · 2023-03-26T03:04:46+00:00

Since this is PPD, I read the title as "Explain it to me like I'm a 5" which I really think should be a genre of post.

ohdiddly · 2023-03-26T02:20:44+00:00

So you’re saying that as a man you wake up and choose to be attracted to women every day? That’s a conscious choice you have to make?

WowYouMustBeJoking · 2023-03-26T08:07:03+00:00

While you're at it, can someone explain the gay "accent" and gay lisp? Why do some have it and some don't, and it's only men who do, not women? Is that a choice?

blueshinx · 2023-03-26T02:11:54+00:00

I don’t choose which sex sexually arouses me. I don’t choose who my heart falls in love with.

It’s not about who you choose to date. It’s quite literally about how your brain and body react to other people.

GooseneckRoad · 2023-03-26T02:15:03+00:00

Sexuality is a spectrum that can change at various times in your life. You can be bi with a slight preference towards women when you're 20 and then not feel comfortable being with guys anymore when you're 50, for example. Some people are more fluid on the spectrum, and their sexuality can change a lot, as where some hit puberty and only liked women and continued to only like women until they die.

Safinated · 2023-03-26T02:58:18+00:00

Men and women can both improvise when motivated, is what the evidence indicates

We are adaptable, after all

But in the absence of deprivation and pressure, we have preferences that are pretty strong, and often tied to ego and socialization

WilliamWyattD · 2023-03-26T03:45:17+00:00

Extreme 'Born this Way' thinking is the big Gay lie promulgated mostly during the 80s so that Homosexuality could get the same status as race and gender.

The truth is far more complex, and we don't fully understand it.

DisasterPeace7 · 2023-03-26T06:44:39+00:00

A lot of our specific sexual attraction is related to something from when we were younger, the whole idea about being born gay or the "gay gene" is a myth

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John_Oakman · 2023-03-26T02:18:16+00:00

There's a sliding scale of choice being from something consciously made to sub-consciously induced by environmental circumstances through enough damages.

For an example of the latter: People normally will prefer normal food. However, if forced upon to to exclusively eat MREs they will adapt to the new reality after a while, even if their buttholes will never be the same.

Similar train of reasoning can apply to males in mostly male environments such as prisons and warships: after a certain period of time many will accept situational homosexuality as the new normal, even if their buttholes (and mental state too) will never be the same (compared to the 'normal' state of before being thrust into such environments).

So yeah, a lot of times when people use those examples as 'homosexuality' being a choice the mental (and sometimes physical) damages induced by the outside environments/circumstances are rarely touched upon.

Also yes this applies to when society tries to force heterosexuality onto homosexuality as well. You can technically beat whatever type of sexuality out of people, but beatings tend to cause damages of some sort.

DisplacedBitzer · 2023-03-26T03:36:59+00:00

I have never chosen what I am attracted to. I have never laid eyes on a fellow dude and been attracted to him. I can appreciate beauty, but visceral attraction is something I’ve only ever gotten from women. I literally can’t choose since it’s beyond thought and in the caveman portion of my brain. I think you have a predisposition at birth which can be influenced by experiences, for instance childhood trauma. But attraction and from there sexual orientation are beyond thought, beyond choice.

FuzyWazaBear1 · 2023-03-26T03:44:28+00:00

I would argue..."what" you are attracted to is due to a complex response of hormones, past experiences, and personal preference.

You may rage for girls in your 20's, then at 35 you decide to try some new stuff. Girls might get boring, or you have a ton of bad experiences and want something different...

Neither only genetic, nor only choice...a bit of both.

The whole male/female topic has turned into a 100x100 game of minesweeper...so i'll skip that part

KikiYuyu · 2023-03-26T03:55:39+00:00

You can't choose what your sexual orientation is. You can choose which individual person you want to date.

Being straight doesn't mean you want to date and have sex with every single person of the opposite sex. Being gay doesn't mean you want to date and have sex with every single person of the same sex. Being bi doesn't mean you want to date and have sex with every single person of either sex.

You can't change your sexuality on a whim. Many people would have done so already to save their lives if that was the case. It's a bit baffling how ignorant this all sounds.

social_mule · 2023-03-26T04:14:01+00:00

You can't choose who you're attracted to but you can choose who you fuck. Having said that I would venture to guess that a sizeable percentage of the LMNOP% community are faking the funk. But that's another topic for another day.

Onward.

One thing I've noticed about gay men trying to bully straight men into being fudge packers is their over reliance on inebriation. Lots of them joke about the difference between a straight man and a gay man being a six pack.

The funny (or not so funny) thing about that is if it was any other demographic making a similar comment about another demographic the sjws would raise seven layers of hell and drop the R-word all over the place. Could you imagine a straight man saying the difference between a woman who wants to fuck and a woman who doesn't is a six pack or a shot of tequila?

But apparently homosexual men getting heterosexual men drunk so they can anally rape them is fine and dandy.

gate18 · 2023-03-26T04:44:10+00:00

You already know the answer.

You, or your brother, or your sister, or your father, or your mother... never got the urge of "choosing" their sexual orientation. Just as members of LGBT in countries where those orientations aren't accepted, still can't choose not to be LGBT.

I'm straight, I genuinely have no choice. Yes I can go through the motions of pretending. Say the government decides to treat straights the way it used to treat LGBT, if it decided to throw me off a roof because I like women, maybe I could just close my eyes and take it up the ass, or stay single, but that's not what we mean by choice.

KayRay1994 · 2023-03-26T05:44:18+00:00

1) people don’t make a choice to be male or female…. i mean, sure you can choose to go ahead with transitioning, but having gender dysphoria certainly isn’t a choice

2) of sexuality is a choice, then why haven’t many men chosen to be bi cause it “turns women on”? why aren’t more men gay cuz its an easier lay? why aren’t more women lesbians cause lots of men are crap? you don’t choose your sexuality, you can choose to act on it, but you can’t choose it

So neither is a ‘choice’, these are things that people simply feel, for reasons currently unknown - acting on it is a choice, but being that way isn’t , hell, if you want to really wanna go that route, then going cis hetro is also a choice and defined sexuality isn’t real cause we can all pick and choose what we want whenever we want

AssistTemporary8422 · 2023-03-26T06:49:32+00:00

If people can make a choice to be a male or female why can’t I make a choice to be straight or gay on a whim?

Sexual orientation is emotional, you can't just choose to have different emotional preferences. I can try to choose not to like ice cream, but that won't change anything.

You can't choose not to be biologically male or female, but you can choose a different gender role that society constructs.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-03-26T09:25:57+00:00

You can choose who you date. That's not sexual orientation, but usually highly linked. After all, you can date someone you're not attracted to, but you're unlikely to enjoy it. You can't choose who you're attracted to. That is sexual orientation. People have tried to change who they're attracted to all kinds of ways over the years and it doesn't work. Usually people who seem to have "changed" between gay and straight are bisexual.

CosmicBioHazard · 2023-03-26T10:11:13+00:00

why can’t I make a choice to be straight or gay on a whim? How is that not a choice?

I mean you absolutely can; whether or not you enjoy it is due to factors beyond your control.

I could shack up with a man right now if I wanted. It wouldn’t be fun for me, because I don’t have that biology.

Personally though I think even the terms ‘straight’ or ‘gay’ aren’t the most useful labels in the world; I’ve only ever had an interest in women, but that interest will never extend to every woman. Not even close.

Title	Explain it to me like I’m 5
Author	Noble_trader
Upvotes	0
Comments	49
Date	March 26, 2023 2:05 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1227pvl/explain_it_to_me_like_im_5/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/explain-it-to-me-like-im-5.1207957 https://theredarchive.com/post/1207957

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