Having a "responsive libido" does not justify you waiting for men to do everything.

Infinite_Signal90 · 2022-10-31T18:34:43+00:00

People don’t need to justify shit to anyone but their own partner. If you’re unhappy with how little your partner is approaching, ask them to fix it or leave.

anon018274031 · 2022-10-31T18:32:05+00:00

And what if you then don’t get into it?

You’ve led them on and now you feel obliged to do something you really don’t want to do or you let them down. Both shit options

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-10-31T18:30:08+00:00

> it is usually as a justification for not making any effort at sexual initiation and seducing

well yeah you don't initiate doing something you don't want to do. that's weird.

> waiting instead for men to do all the heavy lifting

in this one area. women do all the heavy lifting in most areas and men are fine with that.

when women complain about men not cleaning up after themselves men say "well women just want things cleaner so its okay that they do all the labor to make a home clean".

wouldn't logic follow that if men want sex more they should do all the labor to make a relationship's sex life good?

> I approach even when not in the mood currently , because I get into it later .

what if you don't?

what if you initiate and he wants to go straight for sex and doesn't turn you on?

do you shut him down at that point and get yelled at for initiating and then not being immediately ready? cause i guarantee you most women have experienced this.

MistyMaisel · 2022-10-31T18:45:57+00:00

Why are you telling women how to approach their sex lives with their partners? That isn't for you to negotiate or tell us about. Just like it isn't for us to tell you how to negotiate your sex life with your girl. This is personal. If our partners don't like what it takes to get us going (or vice versa), they should negotiate that. Not someone on reddit who mostly wants to brag that he's better at having a responsive libido than us. As if anyone with a responsive libido would ever want to initiate sex on the off-chance they're into it later. Yuck.

I also despise the implication that's it's difficult to get most women going. It's not at all difficult, you mostly have to look good, act affectionate, wiggle your eyebrows a few times throughout the day, give a bum smack, make an effort to do something intimate and non-sexual as a couple, and then hit um with some foreplay.

You'd think listening to guys that in order to get a woman turned on they challenge you to a race around the world in 80 days. None of what is required is some unreasonable feat only an extremely wealthy and strapping young adventure hero could manage. And all of it is good for the relationship as a whole since it builds non-sexual intimacy, attention, and affection.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-10-31T19:04:02+00:00

Lol , I've never encountered a man that ever had trouble of initiating . Guess they are higher sex driven. 😏

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2022-10-31T20:27:22+00:00

responsive libido has ant just about initiating. It’s about the woman’s innate attraction to the man which can change due to Circumstances (socio economic, health and hormonal levels, lack of novelty etc). If your present partner is incompatible with you, best find someone who is.

bluestjuice · 2022-10-31T20:53:43+00:00

Okay, but I’m not sure PPD is ready to have a nuanced conversation about keeping an active healthy sex life going in a LTR. I’d love to be wrong.

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-10-31T21:47:17+00:00

Yikes. So much to unpack here that I don’t know where to start.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-31T19:35:33+00:00

…why should I approach a man for sex when I am not interested in sex?

NockerJoe · 2022-10-31T18:39:44+00:00

I mean, there comes a certain point where this is generally considered valid grounds for ending a relationship. Most lower libido people I know have trouble dating for this reason since not a lot of people are willing to get into a relationship with someone who doesn't activley want to have sex with them. Likewise if you actually check relationship subs its really obvious a lot of women are losing relationships and having bad dates because not a lot of men are actually ok with this arrangement.

People are entiled to only do it when they want, but when you actually look at the situation of most reactive women or women who make these claims you rarely see them happy with their relationships outside posturing because a lot of men either won't deal with it or they'll eventually cheat.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-10-31T18:54:10+00:00

I mean your libido is going to be what it's going to be, sex is an important thing in a relationship even though some may say otherwise, as is the frequency of it, if a man has a high libido he should find somebody who gets turned on close to as much as he does, my wife has a high libido like I do, but even sometimes she's tired or the kids are in the way or she's just straight up not in the mood, now for our relationship we found that instituting a free usage rule has been massively beneficial

At the end of the day you have to be honest with yourself and find what works sexually for you and your partner

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MedicineSpecific9779 · 2022-10-31T19:54:32+00:00

OP, I don't think many of the people responding understand what a responsive sexual desire is vs what a spontaneous desire is. I think you need to edit your post to give an indepth explanation.

neetykeeno · 2022-10-31T20:11:10+00:00

A person doesn't need to justify their lack of approaching strangers if they aren't complaining about the consequences of their lack of approaching. It gets a bit more complicated in relationships as relationships involve two people's needs but I don't think a good relationship where only one person initiates is impossible...it all depends on the feelings of the particular people involved. Maybe people whose libido is highly reactive should take care to only commit to partners who can handle that.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-10-31T22:18:39+00:00

You know there's a great big gap between

Between "people with responsive desire should initiate sex" and "people with responsive desire never do may of the heavy lifting"

As someone with a mostly responsive desire I also set up the mood by starting off or initiating a date night or something. Thats when I think I'm going to desire something but I probably don't at the moment.

but I'm also not going to initiate something immediately sexual until I get to that point when I do desire something.

Title	Having a "responsive libido" does not justify you waiting for men to do everything.
Author	UnjustlyBannedTime11
Upvotes	27
Comments	140
Date	October 31, 2022 6:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yikafa/having_a_responsive_libido_does_not_justify_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/having-a-responsive-libido-does-not-justify-you.1138675 https://theredarchive.com/post/1138675

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