Is it really commitment if a guy cheats?

mangolover97 · 2020-04-12T02:35:28+00:00

It’s not commitment if he cheats. That’s a bad deal because those type of men typically get mad if the wife cheats back. You’re just a trophy or fish in his tank. Some women may be ok with that though depending on what they personally want out of the relationship.

2020-04-12T03:18:28+00:00

Uh, no? Cheating is something shit tier people do, no exceptions.

hammerhaunts · 2020-04-12T02:35:14+00:00

Its not

Troy016 · 2020-04-12T02:42:57+00:00

If a guy cheats he’s not really committed . Usually the guy has options if he cheats. Ex, female freinds, female co workers, long time freind. Stuff like that

eboy4hire · 2020-04-12T03:02:44+00:00

Commitment to me means loyalty. He's not committed if he cheats. I also would not think a girl who cheats on me is committed to me, and she would be immediately dropped off at the guy-she-cheated-on-me-with's house and dumped.

TRUTH_HURTS_anon · 2020-04-12T03:11:51+00:00

I can’t speak for other men, but the men in my close circles who are happily married have never cheated. Two I know have had multiple opportunities to. I’ve never cheated myself but I’ve only been in 4 relationships. I think it comes down to how you were raised really when it comes to men and cheating. Men who grew up with fathers who taught them well would feel insane shame for doing something like that. No amount of propaganda would change them, they care about their children and their wives. I’ve been cheated on before and even before it happened I would never have done that to another person.. i (before quarantine) had no trouble getting dates either and sometimes sleeping with these women as I am upfront and honest about everything, idk where you live but if you are interacting with cheating males all the time you need to work on picking better or get out of the city. I wouldn’t be friends with an asshole who cheats on their wife.. the flip side is know many women who are willing to lie for their cheating women friends and actively encourage it. I work with nurses and I hear “girl you ain’t got a ring yet! Get ya some) like I don’t get how people have no moral compass.. it’s degenerate and sad. Me? I’ve decided last time I’m never risking marriage on any woman and I tell them straight up. We need more honesty and women wouldn’t keep posting shit like this.. we should be bullying men and women who fuck around and cheat.

superlurkage · 2020-04-12T02:42:18+00:00

You have access to a dictionary, yes?

AutoModerator · 2020-04-12T02:23:43+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

TheKarmicWoosh2 · 2020-04-12T03:10:51+00:00

No. Extremely high value men with a fuck ton of options don't really do "commitment" if they don't want to.

Future dicked down Scottie's wife in some Gucci Flip Flops.

2020-04-12T03:26:37+00:00

I mean this is really obvious, so maybe the more interesting question is

"Is it still commitment if he never cheats so far as you or anyone you know is aware"

What else is there than awareness?

2020-04-12T04:18:22+00:00

As many men here have said, it takes 3 things to obtain commitment from a high value guy: be hot, be pleasant, don’t be a slut. This seems true enough according to many examples (though the 3rd is somewhat debatable). However, there is one caveat: so many of these men cheat.

Well, generally speaking a HVM will be attracted to and attract a HVM; and vice-versa.

Now is a HVM a woman who is:

hot
pleasant
not a slut

I am sure that's one combination that makes a woman HV in someone's eyes. But it's not the only combination. If you ask me those 3 would be nice but I would need more to consider her a HVW.

It seems as though men happily commit to hot, pleasant, chaste women, giving them a title/ring,

Again, some men would do that. Some others would just want something casual, and some other would need "more" than those 3 in order to seek a relationship.

but at the same time fuck many other women behind her back.

Maybe. Some men sure, some other won't.

One thing that I have learned IRL and on Reddit is to never assume exclusivity until 2 people:

have have the exclusivity talk
they both have agreed explicitly
they both have agreed enthusiastically
they both have agreed on boundaries
they both have agreed on what activities with other people are OK and what activities are not OK
they both have agreed on what is considered sex (with other people)... and if you're shaking your head at this... you'd be surprised

Then and only then one can expect the relationship to be considered exclusive.

Sure, she still has the title of girlfriend/wife and she’s still the one he happily shows off but for a whole lot of them, she definitely doesn’t have his loyalty.

Absolutely. And vice-versa, of course.

It doesn’t help that the ‘other women’ are usually of a lesser value (less attractive, less pleasant, known sluts).

It doesn't help and... it actually doesn't matter. Cheating with someone of higher value than the SO is still cheating.

I’m really curious about your opinion on this. Do you still consider a guy to be committed if he cheats?

LOL, no. And vice-versa.

Is commitment just a title/ring?

A lot of people don't want to go through the "trouble" of really having the hard discussion with their SO: sex, exclusivity, cheating, money, religion, politics.....

Does it really mean anything for a woman to have a man’s “commitment” if she doesn’t have his loyalty?

You should ake her (the woman) or... women, but you label this question as Q4M.

obvi_imnicklachey · 2020-04-12T04:25:02+00:00

Apex fallacy to the max in this post. Even absolute alpha guys would have a hard time keeping a beautiful, pleasant, non-slutty woman locked down while cheating on her repeatedly.

The world doesn't really work like that. Only women have the ability to cheat that often and not get caught because if they ask for dick in the parking lot of their office during lunch break they'll find a guy who will drive 30 mins to be there to do the deed.

I don't care how alpha a guy is, most women need the idea that she can really be with the guy or have a hope of relationship before spreading those legs. Even if the guy is putting in minimal effort and she's doing all the work in her own head, getting sex on demand is not the same level of convenience for top tier males as it is for even average women.

When you live with someone, share the same bed every night, and have consistent working schedules it's really not that easy to "cheat all the time"

Cheating is reserved for business trips, non-spouse work events, and very lucky one-offs where everything aligns. Maybe a few times a year but it's impossible for even top tier men to pull that off regularly while in a LTR without getting their shit blown up.

geyejoe7 · 2020-04-12T05:46:07+00:00

commitment

/kəˈmɪtm(ə)nt/

noun

the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.

Doesn't sound like commitment to me. You're not dedicated to ONE partner. So you're not committed.

901735 · 2020-04-12T05:49:49+00:00

As many men here have said, it takes 3 things to obtain commitment from a high value guy: be hot, be pleasant, don’t be a slut.

No, who lied to you? It takes "all" that and a lot more.

giving them a title/ring

Nah, that is outdated, the ring is not as precious as Gollum thinks.

but at the same time fuck many other women behind her back

It's her fault for having chosen that guy. How do we teach females to become good at vetting?

she’s still the one he happily shows off

? Shows off? What are you, an display object? That's not a healthy self-worth description a commitment-worthy female would make. See, it takes more than just hot, pleasant and unsluttifiedness.

It doesn’t help that the ‘other women’ are usually of a lesser value (less attractive, less pleasant, known sluts).

It does. Because if she is not pleasant and is a known slut, then the quality, hard to obtain commitment from guys will not even look at her.

Do you still consider a guy to be committed if he cheats?

No.

Is commitment just a title/ring?

The title/ring has nothing to do with commitment at all. People believing in marriage are perhaps either traditional, which isn't progressive at all, now, is it, or inflicted with deep insecurity. Good thing it's going out of "fashion" and being exposed as a nothing, with so many divorces happening.

The sooner females realize and accept it's out, byebye, not gon' happen, the better, the sooner they can stop ultramarathoning the hamster into oblivion about it, thereby driving the good commitment worthy guys away.

Does it really mean anything for a woman to have a man’s “commitment” if she doesn’t have his loyalty?

That's a question for women, not for men. Ask the females also what web scythe farticles, vagazines and TV channels they're getting those ideas implanted by.

taapy234 · 2020-04-12T05:51:11+00:00

Nope.

Cheating is valid reason to break off.

This is why MRP (married red pill) encourages women to choose for partners who are commitment oriented and take her gender role seriously.

But your question is another example of apex fallacy that women seem to have clouding their judgement.

Because you only have sex with top 20% of men, who have absolutely ZERO reasons to commit to you, who cheats on you, who has no interest in caring about you personally for anything other than sex, who already has issues on his own, you start to believe ALL men are like this way.

This is not the case.

I hope you go through your epiphany phase soon enough and realize how wrong you are.

DerekMorganBAU · 2020-04-12T07:17:20+00:00

You can be committed and cheat.

"I make love to you - but I fucked her." - Chris Rock

Eastuss · 2020-04-12T08:23:39+00:00

Yes it's still commitment, just no the full commitment. Countries where people do not link love to marriage do not really care if people cheat, as long as they come back home and do their duty.

And having a kid with a wife even if you divorce is an eternal form of commitment to her, thus why women hate it when you have a kid with a former partner.

Commitment is any of your time/energy/money that is given to a woman or to a woman's offsprings.

Meydra · 2020-04-12T08:44:09+00:00

Haven't women caught up and even surpassed men in cheating?

xXxINCELFAGGOTxXx · 2020-04-12T08:44:18+00:00

Reading women's responses here I'm thinking what kind of men cheat, then still maintain their commitment and get bitter that their women do the same as a revenge. That's borderline delusional and IMO is connected to them exaggerating their attractiveness. Isn't it obvious that she WILL find out and you WILL get fucked back?

zino193 · 2020-04-12T10:01:06+00:00

There is no way to be nice about this. Are you interesting? Are you eating ass, are you a better slut for him than anyone else? Are you completely in love and dedicated to his pleasure or are you just going through the motions?

Men are lazy, comfortable, habitual creatures. If a night at the club is worth it, despite the prepping, and the shuffling and the mingling and the flirting and the BS and the pulling - then your wifey game is wack.

Do you still consider a guy to be committed if he cheats?

Depends what your deal was. Did you put a cock cage on him, and did he swear to only use it on you? If so - yes. I never promise exclusivity - so it's technically impossible to cheat.

Is commitment just a title/ring?

No, it's a promise. Sometimes it's a promise we expect to be implicit, but never really ask for it.

Does it really mean anything for a woman to have a man’s “commitment” if she doesn’t have his loyalty?

In my experience yes. You want at the very basic level to have someone that cares about you. You can live without the dick for months, he can be in another committed relationship, but as long as he sends the smallest sign he is thinking of you - that's enough. It's sad, but quite beautiful if you think of all the sad things about human relationships in comparison.

2020-04-12T10:19:31+00:00

I mean y'all select for the traits that allow, and compel, a man to fuck around more than you select for respect and loyality, then you're surprised when those same guys don't remain loyal and fuck around. To answer your question, however, no it is not commitment.

Plutonic_blue · 2020-04-12T10:22:44+00:00

Not at all. Im a guy and loyalty is something I've never struggled with. I just couldn't ever cheat on anyone even if I wasn't really all that into them anymore. Cheating is just fucked up, no excuses for it. If you are having doubts about your partner just think really hard and if you made your mind up break it off. With my first love, I went through this weird period where I wasn't sure if I wanted her anymore. Thankfully, I thought this through by myself for awhile before making the ultimate decision of calling it off. I thankfully decided not too when I realized I truly loved her and didn't want to be with anyone else (She cheated on me and dumped me anyways LMAO)

SplushkaMcOwlFace · 2020-04-12T10:33:29+00:00

It's not HVM if he cheats

Barely-moral · 2020-04-12T10:54:15+00:00

Do you still consider a guy to be committed if he cheats?

Nope. Commitment to me means dedication to make your partner happy. So cheating would be contrary to commitment.

Is commitment just a title/ring?

No. But I can see how someone would reach that position. If someone makes a clear distinction between sex and emotional investment/bonding then it is possible to define commitment in a way that sex is completely irrelevant to it. It is the same process that makes a woman that deadbedrooms her husband believe that she is doing all the things a commited woman should be doing for her partner.

Does it really mean anything for a woman to have a man’s “commitment” if she doesn’t have his loyalty?

Ask a woman. Does it mean anything for a man to have a woman's commitment if she doesn't find him attractive and have sex with him?

People can separate sex from commitment. I don't agree with those people but I can understand their position.

HOLYREGIME · 2020-04-12T04:22:29+00:00

Yes, he can still be committed but it’s on a rare occasion.

A wealthy, usually older guy could he committed to his wife but have a mistress on the side. The wife gets everything she wants such as clothes, money, jewelry, (resources) and the husband keeps the mistress around for supplemental sex.

We see it all the time. It’s a win-win in that relationship. For the rest of us, it doesn’t work. It may be more difficult for average guys to find a mistress and they definitely don’t have enough resources for the wife to look the other way. Plus, younger men are more likely to development emotional attachment. Older men have been there, done that, absolutely despise marriage or any LTR.

SteveSan82 · 2020-04-12T06:05:55+00:00

As long as he comes home to you, why do you care? He’s not a woman. Men fuck to fuck. Women cheat.

DangZagnut · 2020-04-12T02:35:07+00:00

It's commitment when a guy pays. Commitment = money.

Cheating = possibly less money.

Some women will put up with cheating to not rock their lifestyle.

No matter what it's always just money. If she stays, if she leaves, she didn't get into the relationship because you're a wonderful person, you aren't relevant as a man. You're just a goo filled skin suit that fits into her relationship framework. If you're lucky she might get to know your name, you know, to file a divorce you need legal names.

Why do men cheat? It's fun. Women cheat too, for fun. Maybe it's a midlife crisis for guys and girls, to still feel young and hip and with it like the kids. Maybe it's regret that they never got that chance with a particular kind of person.

That's why I don't have monogamous relationships. Those exist for religious people and to financially benefit women. Commitment means all resources go to particular person. Notice how commitment means absolutely nothing else and absolutely nothing to 99% of women?

It's just about money. We can call it resources, time, attention, whatever, but in the end, it just boils down to money.

As women say, sex is just sex, and sexual history doesn't matter, and blah blah. And I agree, so there really is no such thing as "cheating", since sex is just another Tuesday swipe on Tinder before dine and dash at an expensive restaurant, so if sleeping around and doing gang bangs aren't a problem, why would some "committed" guy sleeping with another girl matter?

Unless the fear is he's now giving his the time, energy, resources, and money to someone else. And I'm curious what the ladies will say, as they endlessly preach sex means nothing to them and doing trains on porn hub is just her exploring and learning about her body, so I'm not sure how sleeping with another women could possibly be a problem with commitment.

I'm loyal to the end of the relationship, but that is meaningless. Loyalty just means committing all your money and time. What else does loyalty mean? Serving like a slave? That seems to be it. Being a utility.

Unless money in the reason, and yes, it always is.

Men cheat for the same reasons women cheat, except the only penalty for a woman cheating is she gets broken up with. Not quite the same in reverse.

The best solution is to stop doing all these retarded monogamous relationships. Sex is just fun. Simply DNA test your kids and don't claim them when they aren't yours. Is it really that hard? All this fighting over a hydraulic tentacle spurting snot into a moist hole like an alien face hugger that is attached to a sea monkey aquarium where you grow a little human for 9 months.

If you actually are into each other you won't "cheat", you'll fuck each other. If you want to fuck other people, go do that. Evolve people. There's an entire planet to explore you people think your dicks and holes matter?

Get over it people. Leave your silly fables and magic at the door for a happy life. It's just a bunch of nucleotides mashed together and mutated to make a sort of copy of both of you. That's what happens when you masturbate inside each other. Woo hoo. It's so magical billions of people on the planet do it. Stop trying to leash each other which is obviously so unnatural you have to create government contracts to fuck each other over to stay together when you clearly don't want to.

TheJim66 · 2020-04-12T03:26:16+00:00

Being hot, nice and not a slut is what most men look for. But if the dude is an asshole it won't matter he'll cheat on you even if you are the best thing ever. Most men arent like that though.Being a slut however makes it so that the only type of guy that will consider you for anything serious is exactly that type of asshole, someone that doesn't actually plan to commit to you. Or someone with no options.

Title	Is it really commitment if a guy cheats?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	75
Date	April 12, 2020 2:23 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/fzo98f/is_it_really_commitment_if_a_guy_cheats/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-really-commitment-if-a-guy-cheats.362316 https://theredarchive.com/post/362316

Comments