Looking for purple advice

hyperrreal · 2017-11-05T06:30:37+00:00

This is better for the stickied gender wars megathread.

notworthmuch20xx · 2017-11-05T02:55:33+00:00

Have you tried chewing gravel?

i_have_a_semicolon · 2017-11-05T03:04:47+00:00

I don't want to give advice to scumbags sorry. Agree you should chew on gravel.

SkookumTree · 2017-11-05T03:07:11+00:00

Be honest with her. 100%, brutally honest, and stop the TRP bullshit.

She wants me to quit drinking which is good advice, but from an RP point of view she sees me as weak and doesn’t respect me. Which means she can’t love me even if I stopped drinking.

Horseshit. The uncontrolled drinking is unattractive. Nobody wants an alcoholic. Hell, the work might be her escape from your drinking. Cut back on or ditch the booze, and see how things go from there. If you want to leave her, go ahead, but all relationships have tradeoffs.

If the relationship goes to shit, you'll be in a better place if you worked on yourself and curtailed your drinking. As far as making up with her, you'll have a better shot if you get your drinking under control.

ASunnyDayInThePark · 2017-11-05T03:13:52+00:00

Fuck off

PBRScagsquad · 2017-11-05T02:56:18+00:00

This isn't a personal advice sub, you would be better off finding somewhere else to go.

rulenumber303 · 2017-11-05T03:14:32+00:00

she sees me as weak and doesn’t respect me

Was what you did respectable? Was it strong? Why should she see you as other than you are?

I don’t want to jump through hoops for her and

Don't. The world does not care. Some other guy will have the sense not to go laying out a hoop course for himself by cheating.

Should I try to make up? Would it even be a good idea?

No point if you're not going to make the effort to discover the joys of self discipline. Look, in twenty years you'll have the life your habits bring you, she will have the life her habits bring her. Just don't ever whine to whoever it is that you end up settling for that life would have been different if you'd stayed with your current girl. You KNOW things will end up differently if you take her path, and you are CHOOSING your path. Got that?

Edited to add:

her busy lifestyle of always working is tiring to me honestly.

She works so you're tired? How does that happen? I mean I'd really like to know.

goatismycopilot · 2017-11-05T03:03:57+00:00

This is not a personal advice sub but if I was a friend or relative of your GF I would tell her to dump your ass. That way you can keep drinking and it can become your new hobby, then you will not have to be somebody you're not. You can just be some drunk fuck who makes out with randoms, values your leisure and doesn't have to jump through hoops for anybody. I am not blue or red, if it matters.

RockinSocksII · 2017-11-05T03:06:31+00:00

Deal with the consequences you created.

NalkaNalka · 2017-11-05T03:18:21+00:00

Ugh what a clusterfuck. For starters take some fucking responsibility. How is her working making you tired? You go out alone to drink with another girl while in a relationship and she got you drunk? how is that supposed to work?

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-11-05T02:57:50+00:00

Why are you looking for advice here

Electra_Cute · 2017-11-05T03:01:38+00:00

Okay, so what is your problem?

SpaceWhiskey · 2017-11-05T04:47:34+00:00

Leave that poor girl alone. Stop drinking for your own sake. Maybe get some therapy. Don’t cheat on your next girlfriend.

theiamsamurai · 2017-11-05T05:32:22+00:00

It was brave of you to come forward. You're a good person, and shouldn't feel bad about cheating. Everyone makes mistakes. You didn't divorce rape anyone like women do to men. Gay relationships have the lowest break-up rates, even though they have the highest rates of cheating, and they can still love each other despite mistakes and set-backs, but vast majority of women are incapable of doing that (or of love in general), that's why lesbian relationships have the highest break-up rates, and the lowest rates of sex. This is coming from someone who's never cheated before. People who tell you to chew gravel just wanna use you as a stepping stone to feel better about their own shortcomings. Fuck them.

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goatismycopilot · 2017-11-05T03:08:03+00:00

I would hope TRP would not want to claim a loser guy like this, forget the cheating, lazy and drunk is not branding I would think what TRP would want. I could be wrong.

dabulls113 · 2017-11-05T03:36:17+00:00

How old are you?

How long have you been dating?

Is your drinking a problem or are you masking a relationship issue with by using your drinking problem?

CatchPhraze · 2017-11-05T03:40:15+00:00

If someone is offering you good advice regardless of their motive, take it. The most "RP" thing they teach you is to do good for yourself first. That would be getting your act together, what she does or doesn't do is secondary. If you quit drinking and she "loses" respect for you (logically any sane person isn't going to think "oh hes doing better, time to dump him. Hell getting your shit together makes you a more attractive option) and leaves, hey at least you've got your life under control, if she doesn't leave you have a rock star girlfriend who helped out of a tough situation, and your life together.

The only lose-lose is you keep drinking, keep spiraling until something worse happens like you get hurt and she leaves and then you're stuck with two shitty outcomes.

damaskrose · 2017-11-05T03:43:49+00:00

Should I end it and just address my drinking on my own? I know she’ll “take me back” if I let her, but am worried that will be counterproductive in the long term.

Don't break up unless you want it to be permanent, even if she takes you back she'll never forget how you left her. Things will never be the same.

wtknight · 2017-11-05T03:55:05+00:00

Should I end it and just address my drinking on my own?

Yeah, probably, unless you tell her that you're likely to cheat on her again and she honestly tells you that she doesn't care if you do. Maybe she might be up for an open relationship.

Pope_Lucious · 2017-11-05T04:35:17+00:00

The drinking is what's making you weak.

dailyqt · 2017-11-05T04:35:39+00:00

End it. Tell her that you know that you're a piece of shit, be 100% honest with her. The drinking obviously needs to stop as well. Things will never be the same with you guys.

voteGOPk · 2017-11-05T05:02:54+00:00

mydiary

a_mans_perspective · 2017-11-05T05:08:43+00:00

Your attitude towards your life, your relationship, your drinking, everything... comes off as one giant "MEH"

You don't seem to have strong feelings one way or the other about anything, you only kinda want things, you don't really want to work for much, and if cheating/drinking happens... eh... so be it. You want comfort, leisure, and to coast along.

Are you really ok with living that way? If you are, then no advice needed. You're already doing a fine job of things. You'll drag down anyone involved with you who doesn't have the same approach to life... but again, just throwing up your arms and going "EHHH" will paper any spiritual disquiet you might experience as a result of that.

DashneDK2 · 2017-11-05T05:09:06+00:00

we somehow wound up making out and heavy petting… She got me too drunk to fuck... I don’t really know why I did it...

You sound like a girl. The first thing would be for you to take responsibility for your own actions. Things don't just happen, you make them happen. Also stop drinkink. Drinking and smoking is for losers.

Point is, I kinda want to be with her.

Make up your fucking mind and go with your decision.

haunting-you · 2017-11-05T05:27:17+00:00

don’t make up. not worth it. for her. you’re a bad partner and it doesn’t sound like the two of you belong together anyway (you say her lifestyle tires you, she says you’re lazy). if you actually do care about her, at all, do her a favor and leave her alone.

ayovita · 2017-11-05T06:11:48+00:00

I see why she doesn't respect you.

gasparddelanuit · 2017-11-05T05:36:21+00:00

Definitely stop drinking. Get rid of the oneitis and recognise that she is not special, because no one is special. Work on yourself and find your purpose in life or your mission, then begin pursuing it.

Continue or discard the relationship, whichever you prefer. If you continue it, do it on your terms, but let her know where you stand. If she walks, she walks.

Don’t live in her frame. Live in your own frame. It’s more important that you respect yourself than that she respects you. Paradoxically, looking to her for respect will probably make her respect you less.

Title	Looking for purple advice
Author	AllModsAreLikeThat
Upvotes	1
Comments	84
Date	November 5, 2017 2:54 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7av6su/looking_for_purple_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/looking-for-purple-advice.265012 https://theredarchive.com/post/265012

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