Men and masculinity.

NockerJoe · 2019-06-28T21:17:41+00:00

Masculinity is a virtue. But how manly I feel is secondary to how I'm PERCIEVED. If a woman thinks you're manly she'll jump through hoops regardless of how much or a man you really are.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2019-06-28T21:35:02+00:00

I really don't care about acting to fit a gender role. Can't say it has mattered much in my own experience. I used to be much more worried about being perceived as masculine, and tried to emulate that but it was weird. Gender roles in the way this sub describes them are a totally foreign concept to me though. It's never that rigid from my experience. I also find that this sub's way of defining success doesn't resonate with me at all. Success is doing what makes you happiest. It's not all about partner count. What does successful mean to you because to me it likely means something very different. Anecdotally my best friend is way more stereotypically masculine than I am. He is awful at holding relationships, whereas I thrive in LTRs.

SpaceWhiskey · 2019-06-28T22:04:17+00:00

What masculine traits are you attracted to most?

I enjoy a laid back sort of confidence in men. Not cocky is an asshole way, just self-assured. I’m not particularly fond of gendering traits though since many of the traits I enjoy in men are hardly exclusive to them.

Is your partner hyper masculine?

No.

Have you found yourself drawn to more masculine men throughout your life?

I’ve had “more masculine” partners than others but it’s a wavy line, not a crescendo. I’ve also dated women.

What do the most masculine men you've ever met look and act like and were they hyper successful in dating?

I’m not particularly fond of “Chad” types so the men who fit that description around me aren’t people I really pay that much attention to. I did work with a few college level football players for a while, some were very nice and seemed to do fine with dating.

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WhatIsTheMeaningHere · 2019-06-28T21:05:07+00:00

I feel like I've gotten bambi eyes from women a few times when I was really angry, but I've never wanted to get with a woman when I was angry so I can never manage to do anything with the possible interest. Expressing a little intensity may be what I need to do.

f0e_paw · 2019-06-28T22:17:28+00:00

Women are innately attracted to a masculine man is evolutionary.

Give a listen to Patrice O'Neal, his legacy is all over YouTube. It will change your life.

CuriousOptimistic · 2019-06-28T22:50:52+00:00

What masculine traits are you attracted to most?

Courage an assertiveness. I like the kind of man who knows who he is and stands up for what he believes in.

Is your partner hyper masculine?

"Hyper" masculine? No. They mostly aren't the kind of men others would recognize as masculine by the standards of our culture. So much of our idea of masculinity is performative and to me there's nothing attractive about bravado.

The men I go for tend to be more like, "I am not like those other guys and I'm totally OK with that." It's a kind of confidence that can't be faked.

Have you found yourself drawn to more masculine men throughout your life?

Not mostly to the guys everyone else wanted and thought were masculine, no

What do the most masculine men you've ever met look and act like

They don't look like each other in any identifiable way. About the only appearance trait they have in common is they aren't very overweight.

They act like they are at peace with themselves and the world, and they are out to accomplish something

were they hyper successful in dating?

I have seen zero correlation between masculinity and dating success, at least by TRP definition of "always have lots of dates and girls lining around the block for casual sex."

The guys that get the most dates tend to be guys that truly enjoy the process of dating

I will say masculine men have been more successful on average at having good relationships when they decide they want them, which they generally do if they find a suitable partner.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-06-28T23:35:35+00:00

When I hear "hyper masculine" I think of Gaston in Beauty and the Beast. Like a caricature of masculinity. My partner is not that guy, but he's in good shape, has a jaw that looks like it was chiseled out of marble, has some chest hair and facial hair and I enjoy looking at him very much. I'm not that fond of the chest waxing thing. I know it's gotten popular these days.

Bronzehawkattack · 2019-06-28T23:41:56+00:00

I don't mind masculine gender roles at all, I naturally gravitate towards them. Masculinity has nothing to do with dating success when you're ugly. I was a boxer (amateur) so the most masculine I ever met were in my local boxing gym, and none of them were particularly drowning in pussy. Plenty had girlfriends, some were single and just as unsuccessful as me, but literally none were Chads.

TheJim66 · 2019-06-29T00:01:08+00:00

Honestly it mostly motivates me.Being able to proudly call yourself a man is something to aspire to imo.

decoy88 · 2019-06-29T00:57:10+00:00

I don’t give a fuck about “masculine”. I just do what I want. Identity crisis seem pointless and stupid. We like what we like and should pursue those things.

[deleted] · 2019-06-29T03:02:46+00:00

I feel constrained by females, and females only. I've never felt any pressure from any man to be anything as a guy. Most of us pretty damn laissez-faire. The only exception is that many men are amazed at my complete disinterest in not only the other sex but my own. The "oh, so you're gay" "No, not at all" blows their minds.

je_kut_is_bourgeois · 2019-06-29T12:07:13+00:00

"masculine" is a buzzword without meaning that gets redefined to mean whatever the speaker wants it to mean to push whatever agenda.

There's really not much that can be said about "masculine" or "feminine". I know what I find attractive in an individual but there are going to be endless debates by those that give a crap about these buzzwords whether those traits are "masculine" or not.

wtffellification · 2019-06-29T17:08:02+00:00

masculinity is positive. im masculine for the sake of it, not because it would potentially help me with dating. even though it does.. even though i don’t date

Triadfamilyties · 2019-06-29T19:33:46+00:00

I find that the more I shed traditional masculinity and embrace the fact that I'm a bi dude who had enough testosterone flowing through him to start going bald at 19 and that I am my own kinda masculine, the more I find women attracted to me.

Confidence really is the number 1 killer in the dating world.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-06-30T07:48:14+00:00

I don't feel constrained, yet I do embrace my masculinity because women love masculine men. It's a reality of life. Whatever girl tells you she's not into masculine traits, she's lying.

And by masculine I don't mean being the roided gymbro. I'm talking about the whole package: risk taker, assertive and witty, independent, but also fit.

I know to types of hyper successful men: those who can bang a chick every night and those who can always find someone to love them.

The type one guys are tall and blonde. That's it. They don't need anything else. They can be shallow, dumb, even violent. Thots don't care. They fuck them and they move on.

Type two guys are smart, fun, witty and have their shit together. People feel relaxed and at easy around them and they end up being the centre of gravity in many situations. Myself and some of my closest friends are like that

rasmelo · 2019-07-01T15:49:38+00:00

I am attracted to caregiving from men. I have never slept with a man who was not committed to me and I never will. I want a man who can lead me. I feel like what many on here refer to as "alpha" is what I would refer to as a small child, running around doing whatever they want for no reason. Many just appear unable to sustain a relationship. I look for maturity and stability first and foremost. My partner is successful in dating because he wants to date me and he is dating me. If he wanted something else, I'm sure he would go do that. In short, I look for the nice guy who is also emotionally secure and knows what he wants.

[deleted] · 2019-06-28T20:42:51+00:00

Do you feel constrained by masculine gender roles?

Sometimes, but usually in good fun, I feel no pressure to follow them, and they mostly reflect me.

The biggest constraint is actually women, if I don't follow all the checkboxes I may have a hard time in the sexual market so I follow them to a T when I have second intentions.

Do you try to emulate them anyway?

Of course. But more probably I just avoid the concept altogether. Like it is expected to know everything about sports and football, I know nothing so every time this comes up I change subject.

Have you found you're more successful at dating when you act more masculine?

There is no doubt about it. I am more successful.

What do the most masculine men you've ever met look and act like and were they hyper successful in dating?

My little brother. He is a master of deception. He can be whatever he wants dependent on the situation.

The guy is not that different from me, but because of his height he has to be even more convincing than me in masculinity and boy, he delivers. He is the perfect man, with just enough sensitivity and rudeness to have sex with the highest valued women.

If I didn't grow with him, I would never guess he is not that masculine. Only I and some of our family know he is a nerd like me, just hiding it pretty well. Most of my technique I learned by imitating him.

ScootsScoots · 2019-06-29T14:23:05+00:00

I find that society actively tries to prevent me from acting like a man, which is the natural way for me to act.

I ignore it and act like myself, a man, anyways.

I find that when I act like myself, I'm more successful in all aspects of my life, not just dating.

notjaysmith · 2019-06-28T21:00:39+00:00

Well, am not gay, so i am okay with being masculine. Though being masculine doesnt means being a chimp that acts like one. Being masculine all the time is not my thing and it is tiring. Most masculine men i have met have issues with communication

Title	Men and masculinity.
Author	reeearnakedchoke
Upvotes	0
Comments	26
Date	June 28, 2019 6:15 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/c6nlaz/men_and_masculinity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-and-masculinity.299024 https://theredarchive.com/post/299024

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