Men are blamed first before any rationality is considered because women will never choose a stance against each other if they can blame men

Solondthewookiee · 2026-06-24T15:27:20+00:00

Wait are you saying women are transphobic or men are? Because in terms of "trans women are really men pretending to be women" transphobia, that is overwhelmingly dominated by men.

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-06-24T17:32:01+00:00

The reason people, especially now, react so strongly to discussions about trans athletes is because those debates are often not really about sports. They're about reinforcing the primary social status of cisgender, heterosexual, often Christian conservative masculinity.

More broadly, men tend to get pushback on these issues because there is very little trust that the arguments are being made in good faith. Too often, these debates end up being vehicles for attacking women and LGBTQ+ communities rather than addressing genuine concerns.

That's why someone like the UFC fighter speaking at the White House felt comfortable yelling that Michelle Obama is a man. The point isn't simply disagreement. It's about policing who counts as a "real" man or woman and, ultimately, determining who is considered worthy of social legitimacy, respect, and protection.

When people see these conversations repeatedly being used to target women, trans people, and other marginalized groups, they stop assuming good faith and start assuming the issue is part of a broader cultural attack.

Enough-Business-8287 · 2026-06-24T16:09:43+00:00

Wow, just wow! If my younger autistic brother is unfairly attacked by someone who happens to be a woman, I'm certainly gonna defend him.

mooncake_bites · 2026-06-25T11:36:03+00:00

The women who are angry about transphobia in sports from men are not going to be the same women bothered by transwomen in bathrooms.

A lot of men who argue this are not arguing in good faith because a) a lot of them don’t even watch female sports and degrade it and b) they’re arguing cis men could pretend but that has nothing to do with transgender women.
The problem with trying to police gender with sports is how are you going to go about it? Check testosterone levels? What a cis woman happens to have higher testosterone? Muscle size? What if a cis woman happens to be big? Now she might be accused of being trans and barred from playing. Are you going to tell each player to strip and inspect genitalia? It’s oppressive to both trans AND CIS women.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-06-24T20:14:58+00:00

That’s just, like, your opinion, man

Plenty of men claim that women hate each other and tear each other down, unlike men who are cool with all other dudes

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PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-06-24T15:19:28+00:00

My suspicion is that these are different women and that each of these is a nuanced and complicated topic.

Personally, I don't have a problem with a father taking his daughters into a ladies room provided he's had a woman check that the coast is clear or seek permission from the other women there or had his daughters (if old enough) check that it is empty. I understand if other women don't feel this way or have had experiences that make this extremely difficult for them. I have myself. However, the comfort and safety of little girls is more important to me in hopes that we can prevent future generations from experiencing distress or trauma. I can agree no matter the instance, the father doing this is taking a risk because this is not an understood cultural norm. And if a woman were to be angry with him, he should probably take the L if she's not accepting his concerns as valid.

I think it is very important before I move on to note, at no point is a father presenting himself as a woman or as if he belongs there himself. He does not, but his daughters do and this makes for a bit of a Kobayashi Maru for him as the person tasked with their protection.

I also, personally, don't want transwomen in the same bathroom spaces as me. I get their argument they don't really belong in male spaces and they're basically right. They don't. They have made a choice to essentially belong in zero of the spaces. And I understand how hard that must be and all the problems it presents. None of those problems strike me as valid enough to force women to accept what is by all metrics, a man who does not belong there and does not have some solid protective reason to be there. And who is unlikely to have sought permission from women or girls prior to entering.

Does this mean I think women have some recourse to stop transwomen? probably not if they're passing. That's not the question, the point in this case is that we're expected to just be cool with it. We're expected to just accept it at face value because otherwise we're bigots and our concerns about violence, exploitation, or perversion are not valid...although intriguingly the transwoman's concerns about those things are valid enough to net her free access to women's spaces.

But again, this is a shit show basically on all fronts because I also really don't want transwomen getting attacked, exploited, perved on, etc. Because despite my disagreement with their choices, I do not wish them harmed and I also wish they felt safe and secure. I'm just not willing to compromise on my own concerns for theirs.

But importantly, I would highlight that none of this, and I do mean none of this would be a problem at all on any front in the first place if male spaces could be trusted the way female spaces are. And yeah, that's my real bombshell for you. If men were not the leading cause of death for children, women, and transwomen well then dad would probably take his daughters into the men's rest room or feel fine having them go in alone. And transwomen (other than dysphoria) would not be so sussed to go into their biologically dictated bathroom.

And no, that is not all men's fault for the record. I know many of you have never murdered, raped, harassed, nor done anything purposefully to make anyone feel unsafe or be unsafe. It is tragic the same cannot be said for enough of you that anyone feels safe in your bathrooms. You probably don't feel safe in your bathrooms honestly.

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