There is a big difference between a preference and a dislike

AntonioSLodico · 2025-09-05T21:33:27+00:00

Short dude here. It's both and other.

Some women refuse to date us, some women dislike us, some women have a preference for taller guys, some women DGAF, some actually prefer shorter guys, and some even dislike and refuse to date taller guys.

Sure, women are more likely to dislike short guys than dislike taller guys, and more likely to prefer taller guys than short guys, but the whole range of women are out there.

MyLastBestChance · 2025-09-05T22:42:24+00:00

There’s a difference between “dislike” and “disinterest”. Dislike is an active state and implies that the person “disliking” someone or something imputes a distinctly negative quality to that person or thing.

Most women who choose not to date short men don’t actively “dislike” them or their height or impute any definitively negative qualities to them, they just aren’t interested (disinterest) in those men sexually and romantically.

Dislike / UN-attracted is an active, definitively negative state.

Disinterest / lack of attraction is a passive neutral state .

Preference / attraction factor is an active positive state.

Understand?

TheRedPillRipper · 2025-09-05T22:59:49+00:00

just a gigantic fake

TRP, at its core are simply strategies based on widely observed patterns. Tall men are observed to do well with women. As are fit guys. Rich guys. Outgoing, social guys. That is all. This method transcends preference because the observations transcend cities, cultures and countries. An individual can observe it in Philly, or Phuket, and draw similar conclusions. Thus, come up with widely applicable strategies.

To use the popcorn analogy; sweet or salty; TRP’s goal is to help a guy become a flavour that appeals to most. It is that simple.

Iron-DBZ · 2025-09-05T23:00:57+00:00

There are many ways in which women and men talk past one another because language is a flawed representation of the ideas people have in their head.

One thing I notice with women is that they tend to engage with language like it's a collection of euphemisms, there's an assumption of subtext, the emotional connotations around a word are often more meaningful than the words themselves.

And the differences in how "preference" is used is a very good example of how men are often using descriptive language and their word choice is more about how much a guy thinks the word is definitionally accurate to what he's trying to say, not necessarily with what they want you to feel about it. Which is often why men can come off as very blunt and offensive to women.

All people misspeak of course, and obviously women use definitional word choice too, it's not all about "feelings" but broadly speaking I don't see men being so obtuse about words that otherwise have very clear meanings even if they're describing messy feelings.

But with women, it seems they're trying to communicate an impolite concept in a polite fashion, and they sacrifice clear understanding for avoiding potential confrontation over what they're actually thinking and feeling. But some kinds of contradictions are not resolvable and it leads to them just looking like their lying or talking out of both sides of their mouths.

---

And what they're feeling is that their preferences are a lot closer to requirements and there's not a word that communicates that the way they want it to come across.

Just my interpretation from years of attempting to have the conversation, it's usually some version of "if a guy isn't like X or Y then it's a full no for me. If they are X or Y I will consider them. I also don't want you to be offended by this, but I would never consider you and I will not be changing my mind about it. I may be open to small deviations from these things that I don't notice in the moment, so long as I think they fit the idea of what I'm looking for."

Which, understandably probably wouldn't go over well. The way women size men up is a very contextual process and it's messy, words don't really work for it. How attractive you are to a woman has as much to do with the mood she's in as it does how you look and that doesn't work well with descriptive language. You have to give a lot of caveats and exceptions to get a full picture of what someone actually thinks and wants.

Especially if how they think isn't very concrete.

Temporary-Flight-192 · 2025-09-06T02:00:29+00:00

I like the way men look at 5’10 to 6’, but my ex was 5’8” and I was crazy about him, and one of the best looking guys I ever dated was 5’6”, he was just slightly shorter than me. Black curly hair,pale skin and pale blue eyes…and I am usually attracted to dark eyes and olive skin, but damn he was handsome 🤷‍♀️. To be honest, sex with guy not that much taller than me just “fits better”…

The only height I would think hard before dating would probably be way too tall, or way too short. I dated a guy who was 6’4” and the sex was no bueno. Part of that was due to his height, but only part.

Now fat? I honestly have never been attracted to an overweight men and have never dated one. I personally have zero sexual interest in an overweight man. Plenty of women don’t mind that “dad bod”, but that’s a no from me. That’s the difference between preference and “dislike” for a physical attribute.

FrulioBandaris · 2025-09-05T22:27:23+00:00

The amount of short dudes who are married or dating would suggest that yes, it is just a preference, because they ended up partnered despite being short.

But the framing of "the only real excuse would be a over saturation, like she is already going on like X dates a month and needs to cut the numbers" is wrong, because people judge whether of not they want to date someone based on a series of preferences. Was she not into that guy because he was short, or maybe because he had a face tattoo, or maybe it's because he smelled weird, or he didn't like Beyonce? There could be a lot of reasons.

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PassengerCultural421 · 2025-09-05T22:49:03+00:00

You can replace short men with bi men or broke men too. Unlike being short. A bi or broke man isn't visible. So women can't magically know if those men aren't their type.

mandoa_sky · 2025-09-06T07:44:40+00:00

i'm tall for my race/generation as a lady so it's more a matter of coming across a guy who doesn't mind dating a lady who is the same height/taller than him.

ASnowfallOfCherry · 2025-09-06T15:34:53+00:00

I think the analogy that works is that height for women is like boob size for men.

So take me and a friend of mine. I prefer taller men but it’s actually fairly low and my preferences. I also significantly softened my preference in that regard. So when I was young, like 18 and 19, I really wanted a tall guy, but would never refuse to date a short guy. Why, well for Chrissakes I’m 5 feet tall. When I got older, I realized that my heavy preference on height was stupid. Other characteristics were far more important.

But my friend, she’s 5-8. Her preference for height was also rigid. She refused to date anyone under 6 feet. She did not want to date anyone who is not as tall or tall taller than she was in heels. That was a hard and fast rule. Honestly, I’m so short I have no idea what it would be like to date a guy shorter than me in heels.

So for me, he might be a preference but other character characteristics were far more valuable. I’ve never turned down a short guy based on height. I would turn down a 6 foot guy if he was deeply religious or if he was pro life. I think most women fall into this pot at least as far as height is concerned.

For her, she turned down a short guy just for being a short guy.

This is the same as the guy who prefers boobs. So one guy may prefer a larger boobs, but will certainly prioritize other aspects. So if a woman has smaller boobs, but is way plus on more important preferences like I don’t know weight or personality, he’ll take the best total package.

And then there are guys who won’t date anyone unless her rack is a certain size.

I understand men’s frustration over being ruled out because of height, but I don’t understand why men get so angry at women over this when they themselves engage in the same kind of assessment.

Unless one is Tom Cruise or Scarlett Johansson, we aren’t going to get a mate who is perfect in every one of our preferences. And considering the divorce rate among the gorgeous, no one finds perfect.

Competitive_Lion_260 · 2025-09-06T04:41:33+00:00

Obese women look very different than skinny women. Women with an A cup look very different than women with a G cup bra.

Its a totally valid preference to want a skinny, athletic, curvy or Obese woman.

They all look very different. One you like, one you don't.

Short men look VERY different than tall men.

Its the exact same thing.

THE.EXACT.SAME.THING.

Tall men have long legs, broader chest, bigger arms/ hands/ bones. Good body proportions.

Short men have Short legs compared to their torso. Small chest. Small hands and feet. And the very muscled ones just look stumpy.

Both look VERY different.

Just like a skinny man looks very different from an Obese man or a gymbro.

One women may like taller athletic men and the next likes shorter more muscled men.

Just like men, different women have different preferences.

And a 5'8 guy is short for a 5'11 woman but tall for a 5'1 woman.

And the fact that men can not change their height (their to go to "argument") has ZERO influence on the preferences of women.

Title	There is a big difference between a preference and a dislike
Author	Ok_Cook_3098
Upvotes	7
Comments	32
Date	September 5, 2025 6:29 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1n9d2uf/there_is_a_big_difference_between_a_preference/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/there-is-a-big-difference-between-a-preference-and.1561387 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561387

Comments

THE.EXACT.SAME.THING.