There’s a difference between being vulnerable and having a victim complex.

Zabadoodude · 2026-06-20T23:17:56+00:00

Women's tolerance for men being emotional is much lower than both men's and women's tolerance for women showing emotion. This also applies to what is considered "having a victim complex" vs just venting.

Sure, most women would be understanding if their boyfriend cries over their childhood pet dying. But crying because you had a hard day at work and your boss was mean to you is something women can do, while men generally cannot.

brassbuffalo · 2026-06-20T22:54:12+00:00

You write a whole tirade and end it with telling people to hide their emotions to not be annoying. That's what they've been doing. Men have been pretty explicit ANY display of emotion can be met with people calling you emotional and weak, and that it's safer to never express those emotions. Your rant is meaningless because your final paragraph effectively says don't show emotions because adults shouldn't do that.

TheRedPillRipper · 2026-06-21T00:17:18+00:00

>crying over your dog of 17 years dying

Whilst I understand and accept emotions are inherent, to what degree should we enable them? Take for instance a beloved pet dying. Why is the focus primarily on the loss? Why not the memories of all the good?

Of gratitude?

For instance there was a great comment on reddit a while ago about how to view grief. Paraphrasing it said grief comes in waves. At first, it is like a tsunami. It hits. One is swept away in an emotional storm. Drowns. A week later another tsunami. A little less impactful, but one is still struggling for life. A month? One can see the crest, but is still underwater. A year? One can see over the crest of the tsunami, maybe grab a couple breaths before sinking back under. A decade? The waves a huge, but one is afloat. Still at risk of drowning, but can see a little clearer. Maybe even see the horizon. See the sun. See.. Hope. Why can’t one choose to see the tsunami as a massive opportunity? Then build themselves a JetSki to ride the hell out of it?

Vulnerability is a choice. As is victimhood. Accepting bad things happen, then embracing the opportunities that arise from them is the primary way healthy emotional regulation should be encouraged.

It is as simple as that.

RiceApprehensive483 · 2026-06-20T22:47:51+00:00

Wouldn’t the best thing to do be not open up if all women felt that way?

RelevantJackWhite · 2026-06-20T23:02:58+00:00

There’s a difference between crying over your dog of 17 years dying and “ITS NOT FAIR I DONT GET THE PUSSY I WANT!”

I agree with your title, but I think that in many situations, guys are not afforded room to be the first example either. And that is a shame.

iSellNuds4RedditGold · 2026-06-20T22:48:30+00:00

Wtf are you even talking about?

When men complain about not being able to be vulnerable to their partners it's not about getting pussy. They have a partner, that already get pussy.

hexdeedeedee · 2026-06-20T23:08:14+00:00

If men treated emotional women the same way women treat emotional men I'm pretty convinced the suicide stats would be much closer, and not in the good way

TransmissionSigned · 2026-06-21T01:19:39+00:00

but this also comes down to what you're complaining about too.

"You can only be vulnerable like me! Complain about what I care about!"

-You

having an emotional crisis constantly while ALSO making your emotional issues everyone else’s problems.

Lilith, Lilith.

You post walls and walls of text every single day, without fault, screaming at the void at the top of your lungs full of rage, and drowning this sub with your abysmal takes about men that have absolutely nothing to do with you.

I don't think you have the legitimacy to tell anyone to 'stop being emotional' and 'be an adult'.

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Barneysparky · 2026-06-20T23:23:37+00:00

A lot of the guys here have autism.

Melt downs are not showing emotion.

Telling the gal who is interested in you your life sucks because other women are not interested in you.....is beyond tone deaf. Ive lost count at how many "im not allowed to show emotions" posts end up being one of these two things.

Adults have emotions, they express to others what they are feeling, without making others feel unsafe (meltdowns) or ignoring the feelings of the person you are talking to (wishing other gals expressed interest).

WanabeInflatable · 2026-06-21T03:47:11+00:00

It is not about victim complex. There are two real problems with opening up and showing your emotions:

You expose your weak spots that she will use next time you argue

Or she just gets an ick and stops viewing you as a man.

If a man needs to open up, he can do it with therapist (professional, yet expensive) or in the internet via throwaway account (cheap).

BlueberryAccording45 · 2026-06-21T03:52:08+00:00

many of your post have zero upvotes, hows it not negative?

Melodic_Structure928 · 2026-06-20T23:59:13+00:00

all this just to conclude that men in the end need to be stoic and unyielding emotionally. Basically never open up and coming to preform your genders roles, but also gender roles are bad sure (when they apply to women)

There’s a difference between being vulnerable and having a victim complex.

Comments

Where did I say this?

Where did I say this?

People keep saying that AND THEY WONT DO IT. Even when they have the fucking money.

Being a little whiny bitch will be used against little whiny bitches, just ask Amber Heard.

If they cant act like adults.

Why would women want a little bitch? Dont women like masculine traits?

Title	There’s a difference between being vulnerable and having a victim complex.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	0
Comments	63
Date	June 20, 2026 10:38 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ub9lzm/theres_a_difference_between_being_vulnerable_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/theres-a-difference-between-being-vulnerable-and.1583270 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583270