Why do I want to improve myself?

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-12-30T12:40:27+00:00

No advice threads

Longjumping-Prior-90 · 2021-12-30T07:43:39+00:00

Its all improving for yourself in the end, that's why it's called self-improvement.

That aesthetic body you worked on for years is so that you can get the love and intimacy from a woman you want

Building a business, subconsciously or not, is so you are higher up on the social ladder. And what does that mean, you can get women.

You can never truly(IMO) improve without doing it for women in someway shape or form.

06534956 · 2021-12-30T08:08:52+00:00

Improving for the sake of improving is a concept that doesn’t make sense to men, imo. It’s a foreign concept and goes against the millions of years of evolution that made men be outcome oriented. Men have been, and will be, obsessed with women and obsessed with attracting women, from dusk till dawn.

It’s a feminine characteristic and feminine energy concept, that men are trying to embody, and failing at… for good reason, imo. Men were not designed to put themselves first, and the few men in our evolutionary history who did just that were laughed/shamed/kicked out out of the tribe and did not survive. The tribe depended upon males putting aside their own wants, needs, and desires, and doing what the people needed him to do.

You SHOULD be improving yourself for woman, and for the sake of the tribe. Each improvement and level up will allow you to have more and more options to provide for the future generations, and build a legacy, and create opportunities for others.

The manosphere is full of wounded men who are acting out a childish fantasy, like a kid taking his ball back because he lost the game. Get real, you have a job to do, and trying to do it in the feminine way is not going to work.

Women need to feel good. That’s our struggle, our lot in life, the curse of being a woman. Labor and delivery are only possible with copious amounts of oxytocin, the “feel good” hormone. Breastfeeding is only possible with oxytocin and feeling good and happy. Babies and children get stressed out when mom looks unhappy. So yeah, a large majority of looking good and dressing good is for ourselves, so we can feel good.

StarchRunner · 2021-12-30T06:46:42+00:00

Principles are quite foreign to me.

I improve because I’m lazy. Lost weight cause it’ll be less work throughout the day. Same for working out.

Had a good education so I could stop working earlier…

So, all my paths lead to laziness with foresight, no procrastinating on laziness though. Laziness needs to be done now and good.

neetykeeno · 2021-12-30T09:15:17+00:00

Lol. I am a woman and when I have improved myself outside of situations like employment it is always for the sheer joy of accomplishment and order and being ahead not behind. The task well done, the world put in better order around me and within me in both small and large ways. The coffee table free of clutter. The feel of a little more muscle on my arm. The sink clean and ready for use. The mending basket empty and the bank account full. The breaths that don't falter as I run for a bus that showed up early. The furniture I don't need help to move around. The freshly painted wall. The relevant knowledge that is already there when the crisis I didn't create hits. The email cleared and dealt with. Taxes done on the day I can lodge. 2pm and all my work...all of it... except a small list of future appointments and the large work tasks I split up over an extended period is done and I can look for more to accomplish.

It is just a better way to live all round. When illness stops me, my first goal is to get back to a state of everything attended to and excess capacity devoted to bettering myself and my situation.

Why do so many more men than women struggle with this? Of course it is best if you haven't fallen behind, of course it is better if you accumulate more capacity. Of course it is better if you do more. It is never a waste. How can you not see this?

M_LaSalle · 2021-12-30T07:05:10+00:00

It doesn't sound like you particularly do want to improve yourself, and you are under no obligation to do so. If you are not interested in dating at the moment, then that is your affair. You are under no obligation to date at the moment. Or ever, for that matter. Just remember that when, or if, you decide that you are finally interested in dating, that the women are no obligation to be interested in dating you. And the women may conclude that if a fellow sees no reason to improve himself, then they see no reason to date him. This might matter to you at some point. Or not.

captainquestionasker · 2021-12-30T08:46:44+00:00

I do things because they make me feel good.

It feels great to lift more/do more reps.

It feels awesome to push your body and hit a PB on a 10k run.

It feels good to have clothes fit you perfectly and flatter your frame in modern cuts.

It feels amazing to set a professional goal, make incremental steps toward it and then achieve it.

It feels fulfilling to express yourself creatively and realise your vision.

It feels awesome to save and invest money, watch it grow and enjoy greater security and freedom.

Who cares about women lol?

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-12-30T09:16:04+00:00

When I ask myself why I try to improve myself it always seems to be to attract women despite not really being interested in dating at the moment.

Dont.

Improve yourself because you want a better life. I don't love canned lines but Jocko Wilink's "discipline equals freedom" is a pretty good one.

Overcoming challenges and genuinely becoming better will make your life more fulfilling and meaningful.

Lifting and training mma has made me significantly healthier, more confident, and yes, more attractive. But I don't do it for women. I did it due to my fear of dying at a young age due to obesity. I do it because I love the camaraderie that comes after a hard sparring session. I do it because fighting in front of people is a drug that you can't ever replicate.

That's just the physical side. How about your intellectual interests. What do you love to learn about? There has to be something. Even if it's dating science. Who cares. Personally, it's military history, science, chess, sports, and politics. What's yours? Find something.

If you self Improve due to wanting to get laid you're simply not going to have enough motivation. Getting laid is great but if you improve enough to be successful often you'll learn that after a half dozen or dozen times the novelty wears off. I was just in an argument with some manospherians about sex partners. They were saying the attractiveness of the woman is the only thing that matters and thats how I know they've never hooked up wjth or dated women they find really attractive. Why? Because it's a short dopamine hit and nothing more. It's like eating sugar. You can still engage in casual sex without making it a game. How? You adopt the mindset of just wanting to meet cool people and enjoy their company -- and if sex happens then that's great, but if not, you still enjoy their presence.

As for women who dress sexy and use makeup "for themselves?" I believe the majority of them are just saying that. They want to believe it. But in reality they're doing it for attention. Not necessarily hot male attention - but rather, because society is so sex focused that an ugly woman or man is thought of as lesser (as was I when I was obese from age 14-19). So even if I wasn't trying to get a GF/laid by losing weight, I was conforming to society's standards of what a desirable person is. And only when I got there did I realize that the more important reason was health. That's only one example. Another is men making money and grinding for dozens of extra hours a week. I have a friend who's in IB who hates it but does it because he's been taught all his life that he's a more valuable person if he makes more money... but it's not just for sex or love because he's a tall attractive man with a six pack. He could do fine making 20k.

This was a bit of a ramble but I hope you get my main point.

asshole67throw · 2021-12-30T09:27:53+00:00

Because the alternative is boring? Easy routine is unsatisfying.

How do you define self improvement? How do you measure it? Bigger muscles, less body fat, higher salary, more qualifications, more friends, more sexual partners, more Instagram followers, more holidays?

Do any of these things really make us happy? In my experience any one of these tasks, requires prioritising one single objective at a time and putting the rest on hold: studying more means you’ll be working/gym less, aiming for more sex means your diet will be worse and you’ll spend less time with your friends. Trying to get bigger muscles will probably mean you put on body fat etc.

Self improvement and goal setting is a natural result of dopamine levels. Evolutionary those that were content in their comfort zone just sitting in a cave didn’t go outside and therefore didn’t procreate.

BrofessorLongPhD · 2021-12-30T10:16:13+00:00

Self-improvement lets you add more 'you' to your life. Broadly speaking, that means having greater agency and a more direct say in the course your life takes, both in the number of options you will have available and the quality of those options you'd get to choose from.

Self-improvement is like adding more tools to your toolbox. You can solve a lot of problems with a hammer, but sometimes you need a pair of scissors, occasionally some sandpaper, and sometimes duct tape. But if all you have is a hammer, then you're mostly stuck handling nails.

Or maybe you decide to not whip out the toolbox, and that's okay too. But you would get to choose that more often when you actually have a choice, instead of looking at the sheet of paper and wondering how you'd cut it with a hammer. You could tear it by hand of course, which may work to some varying degree. But a pair of scissors would have made the task much easier.

Incidentally, people who have a better toolbox tend to also be more attractive in general. So you could build your toolbox with the ultimate aim of being attractive, but just immediately you could focus on building your toolbox just to give yourself more and better options for handling life's projects.

pubgmisc · 2021-12-30T11:02:04+00:00

You will always have the masculine burden of performance. Improve yourself and continue to chase excellence. It starts there

FlyingKite1234 · 2021-12-30T11:19:09+00:00

Why?

You have one life and at 25, everything you fail to accomplish or build out now, will come back to bite you later.

You don’t have to do shit. The world doesn’t give a fuck. Just understand that there are consequences.

TheRedPillRipper · 2021-12-30T11:36:57+00:00

the result of men trying to compete for ~~women~~

resources. Don’t get it twisted. Our ancestors didn’t hunt for women. They hunted for food.

the invention of modern society

is a privilege. You living in Ethiopia? Congo? Solomon Islands?

The issue with questioning any self improvement is you’re taking for granted your privilege. Which leads to you questioning your life mission; and ultimately yourself.

Godspeed and good luck!

CimZim · 2021-12-30T11:54:25+00:00

I'm 25M and I have been taking steps in the right direction and have been focused on self improvement

Very good!

Am I masculine because I am competent, reliable, strong, and improving or am I all those things because I'm a man wired to do those things?

I wouldn't say either, because none of those are masculine traits or things only men do. I'm all those things, as are many other women, as well as men. It's a human nature to want to move and do and prove oneself. When people are unable to, they as an individual suffer, as does society eventually.

I think women deal with a simar dynamic, for example there are some women who claim to look good/dress nice for themselves but if you ask the hard questions is it really just female nature trying to be hypergamous?

I don't do anything more than basic hygiene (clean body, clean hair, clean teeth, wear clean pants and shirts, put sunscreen on) but this has nothing to do with "hypergamy". It's because being sweaty and dirty and having bo is gross. Now, if someone is walking around town dressed like they're going to a 5 star restaurant, then my two impressions is they are going to a fancy restaurant or they want attention of some kind by the men and women around them.

You have to think on things yourself to determine why you're doing what you're doing. None of us can know what's going on in your brain. But yes, it's entirely possible for someone to improve themselves because they want to without caring what others think.

Bandit174 · 2021-12-30T06:49:07+00:00

Even disregarding sex a motive, I still think people tend to care where they fall on various hierarchies relative to their peers.

michael1962-01 · 2021-12-30T07:41:38+00:00

Your post boils doen to being philosophical.

Extrinsic vs intrinsic motivation is the core.

If i workout for health and looks I like - intrinsic.

If i do the business as i like the things i create - intrinsic.

Women have a fine radar for intrinsic vs extrinsic behaviour.

Intrinsic - alpha

Extrinsic - fake alpha or beta behaviour

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midwestufohunter · 2021-12-30T07:03:04+00:00

Idk what else I would do w my life other than self-mastery

Siukslinis_acc · 2021-12-30T08:22:38+00:00

Because you want to get better at the things you do?

chalkandapples · 2021-12-30T10:42:23+00:00

I think people naturally thrive and is the most happy when they're on a consistently upward trend in whatever they care about. So as long as you do enough self improvement to feel like you're consistently getting better and growing, that's all you need to do for yourself for the most part.

As for improving to get a better partner, it's a thing you can do and I think it works. But you also need to be happy and there's more to life than optimizing for finding a partner. So you should improve in the direction that feels natural to you and make you happy anyways. There are people at every level, so technically you should be able to find partners that match you at whatever level you're at, but being better yourself opens up more options for yourself.

lulll · 2021-12-30T10:44:38+00:00

this whole modern self improvement thing is just a cult for sad people who need to be told what to do with themselves. stop listening to idiots in the manosimpshere, theyre a bunch of middle aged losers going though a mid life crisis

meme_lords_unite · 2021-12-30T11:10:05+00:00

I asked myself these very same questions. Honestly, it depends on the person. I told myself I was improving for myself but deep down I knew it was to find a partner.

In the end, I found some plates, I found some girlfriends, and I realized... none of that is worth changing your life for. Yeah, women are cool, and getting your dick wet is nice, but there are more important things in life.

My advice would be to keep improving until you find a good relationship. Then you'll understand why its overrated and why you did the things you did. After that, you can begin improving for yourself.

MrShakedown1 · 2021-12-30T11:38:34+00:00

They ant to fuck as attractive opposite sex patners as possible bypassing limit imposed by their league, so in order to do so they need to impress ( in my case ) women that they are better than it's in reality. Same as in animal kingdom.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-12-30T12:25:28+00:00

Honestly, self improvement is basically being competent at something, earning a decent income and not being a fat slob.

This how it has always been.

I don't know at which point in the past 30 years we decided things were different than they actually are.

bruh_what_the_f · 2021-12-30T06:55:10+00:00

It's so easy to be selfish, because altruism is bullshit.

So how much harder is it to work out for sex relative to work out to know that you can fuck anyone up and defend yourself in any situation?

One of those sounds... desperate, the other sounds like a solid skill.

serves a dual purpose:

messaging

attaining skills that are useful outside of women, which leads you to either better supporting yours or getting a better one.

ahandtoyourdarknessx · 2021-12-30T07:30:37+00:00

Men and women experience intimacy fundamentally differently. When women say they dress up or wear make up for themselves and not to impress men it’s because they’re in the privileged position to do what they feel like doing while not having to worry about being attractive because they know that someone will want them so they never have to deal with the anxiety of being truly alone.

Men on the other hand have the burden of having to put in incredible amounts of effort to attract women therefore it’s not an issue to do things in an attempt to accomplish that.

I think the other side of that is to not do things only for attracting women but instead do things that you enjoy that would attract women

Title	Why do I want to improve myself?
Author	DuxDucis52
Upvotes	5
Comments	47
Date	December 30, 2021 6:39 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rruxhk/why_do_i_want_to_improve_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-i-want-to-improve-myself.1089975 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089975

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